ReVival 01 News and Notes

Some news and notes coming out of the first ReVival show at the MGM Grand Garden Arena this past Friday night…

• • Head of PRIME Medical Dr. Astrid Fihlguud is reporting that Doozer suffered an undisclosed back injury in his opening round Almasy Invitational match against Garbage Bag Johnny. The Boston native is going for further tests at Mass General and will be out a minimum of four to six weeks.

• • After the first show saw an abundance of illegal low blows, Head Referee Timo Bolamba has sent each member of the ref crew home with a copy of his autobiography “The Count of Crotch Shots: A Pop-Up-Adventure Book Covering the History of Shaft Strikes, Twin-Separation, and Sack Taps” as written by “The Dastardly Bastard” Timo Bolamba.

• • Cyrus O’Haire has been fined $10,000 for shoving junior interviewer Simon Tillier during his first round Almasy Invitational match promo against Ria Nightshade. Per Cyrus’ request, the money will be donated to a local mental health organization in the Las Vegas area.

• • Rumor has it that the Anglo Luchador bought out a local Walgreens’ supply of Icy Hot after his match with Alexander Redding.

• • Teddy Palmer is reporting that Red is on the injured list, day to day with hurt feelings. When asked for a comment, Dr. Fihlguud simply shook her head.

• • A mysterious figure wearing minion pajamas was seen around the MGM Grand mumbling to herself about belt sashes, Japan, and Mario Kart before disappearing into what looks like a life sized display case near the casino’s front entrance.

• • Nicholas Pfefferman was not backstage at ReVival, having not been granted access to the locker room

• • Jacob Mephisto, however, was backstage at ReVival and carefully watched matches, taking particular interest in Solomon Richards vs. Rezin. He was also said to be flanked by the Montgomery Twins at all times.

• • For some strange reason, someone thought it wise to catch up with King Blueberry after the show. He had this to say: “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been part of a company that was so food-positive before, which is great! I mean, unless you want to DIE FROM CHOLESTEROL. Honestly now. Egg people? An entire pudding family? I think I heard someone backstage talking about ‘mashed potato storage’. Y’all need to find your nearest farmers’ market and get some fiber in your life. Did you know that blueberries are a great source not only of fiber, but also Vitamin C? So put down the pudding and grab a handful of nature’s own sapphire sensations. They’re great for helping fight off colds, and also for poopin’. Find out more at blueberry-dog-org.”

• • Kenny Freeman posted (and later deleted) a Tweet stating that he enjoyed watching the first edition of the new ReVival. In other news, no one knows who Kenny Freeman is.

• • Fresh from winning his main event contest with Vickie and Jonathan-Christopher Hall, Brandon Youngblood’s eyes are already on his next opponent in the Almasy Invitational. “Miles Lucky acts like a rabid dog,” Youngblood said after his match. “Good. He’s going to need that. He’s going to need every bit of it. People are talking them up. That anyone taking them on needs to beware. Me? I’ll just grab him and choke the life out of him before slamming him on his head. The MGM Grand cleaning crew can figure out how to clean his slobber off the canvas.” Both Lucky and Youngblood were impressive in the ReVival debuts, and are sure to be on a hellacious collision course on ReVival 3.

• • SHOOT Project World Champion, Joshua Breedlove, was in attendance and is said to have briefly met with President & CEO Lindsay Troy after the show went off the air. Co-Heads of Security Dametreyus and Wade Elliott were also present for the meeting.

• • “Event Horizon” Hayes Hanlon earned his first PRIME victory against Cecilia Hayes, and the honor of the first match of the ReVival era on Friday’s inaugural episode at the MGM Grand. He was found backstage after the show, nursing his elbow thanks to a vicious armbar from The Murder Daughter.

“I can’t explain the feeling,” said Hanlon. “All I dreamed about as a kid was wrestling for PRIME. Cecilia was an incredible competitor, and the way I see it? The longer I stay in the tournament, the longer I can avoid seeing her in the ring again.”

Julian Bathory emerged victorious over Genevie Carlson later on in the evening, moving on to the second round of the Rolo bracket as the rookie Hanlon’s next opponent.

“First the Murder Daughter, now Violence Jack’s protege,” Hanlon laughed. “Julian’s going to have more experience on me, and a legend in his corner. With any luck I can stay in a groove and build some momentum during our match.”