BIG NEWZ HOT SKOOPZ!
- As announced by MGM Liaison Melvin Beauregard on ReVival 3, PRIME will be running Tag Team Survivor for the first time, and the event will begin at Culture Shock. 12 teams will participate for the chance to be crowned Tag Team Champions at the company’s summer PPV, Great American Nightmare. So far, 8 teams have been confirmed and more details will be released in the coming weeks.
- After the recent vignette announcing the arrival of white hot tag team The Saturday Night Specials to PRIME, rumors have begun to swirl about an expansion of their popular wrestling-themed and New Orleans based bar/brewery “Ballyhoo Brew” into Las Vegas. Unfortunately, neither Pat Cassidy nor Brock Newbludd could be reached for comment, as the moment they stepped into Vegas they disappeared into the night life and have been missing for four days. It’s unclear if they’ll ever be heard from again.
- Multiple noise complaints were received on the executive level after the event. Security responded, only to see that the source of the noise was a ReVival 3 afterparty in #2 seed Impulse’s suite and said complaints were subsequently ignored. Rumors of hyena and ocelot sightings were not able to be confirmed.
- The Anglo Luchador was spotted leaving the Walgreens on South Las Vegas Boulevard with at least a dozen tubs of Icy Hot.
- Kenny Freeman sent out a tweet congratulating PRIME on a successful third edition of ReVival, and is hoping he can maybe find a tag team partner soon enough to qualify for Tag Team Survivor. Unfortunately, no one knows who Kenny Freeman is, so things are still up in the air.
- A dejected Hayes Hanlon was spotted post-show at Level Up Sports Lounge, making good on his promise to buy the Enemigos Security Team a round after his faux pas earlier in the show. His spirits seemed lifted when the security luchadores invited him to join. Rumor has it they were spotted later that night across the strip at Sophia’s Gentlemen’s Club.
- Shortly after his match, Nicholas Pfefferman was accosted by MGM Security, where he was quickly shown the door without so much as a by your leave. He was told that allowed in the building on sufferance, whereupon he corrected the spelling of the man who had spoken, leading to threats of police calls.
- The medical team at the MGM Grand pushed to check on the condition of Anna Daniels after her bout against Nicholas Pfefferman. When asked about her reasoning to forego the doctors, she rolled her eyes. “First of all, we hate doctors. They either don’t believe us when we tell them anything or try to harvest our ‘spare parts.’ Secondly, we’re a time traveling alien with magic powers. And thirdly, we’re in a hellcat spangled blood pact to no sell things and we’ve been slacking on our quota. Peppermint Nicky brought us some pain and he’s good at what he does. We’re just better at what we do. We’ll be ready for Teddy. Now let us go home to our husband and our dog.”
- Cyrus O’Haire, when pressed for comment after his loss to Teddy Palmer at ReVival 3, was quoted as saying, “I’m not going anywhere.” Looks to be with PRIME permanently.
- The Fighting For Nora Foundation has filed a complaint with the MGM Grand concerning a box of merchandise that was squished with a stolen forklift at the event. After initially claiming the damages as “thousands of dollars,” the Foundation has altered its claim to seek payment to the tune of $750 and an extra Fighting For Nora ad space on the 28th floor.
- After ReVival 3 went off the air, Cancer Jiles and the rest of the Bandits celebrated his “so-so” night on the casino floor. Rumor has it he tried to open up a line of credit with his newly acquired Universal Title shot as collateral, but the MGM Grand, a MAJOR, flagship casino in Las Vegas, said they didn’t have enough money to match the proposition.
Of course, upon hearing the news, Jiles smiled widely and began to cackle loud enough for the entirety of planet Earth to hear.
- In the hours that followed ReVival 3, Teddy Palmer decided to celebrate his victory on the MGM casino floor. As the night progressed, a loud cackle was heard that could be best described as ‘loud enough for the entirety of planet Earth to hear’. Seeing that a lanky, cheek sunken blonde was the source of the laugh, Teddy excitedly thought Pete Davidson graced Las Vegas with his presence. He was, however, disappointed upon approaching the man and his minuscule entourage to realize it was Cancer Jiles, and the juicy ass he viewed from afar didn’t belong to a Kardashian, but rather Bobby Dean. Teddy spoke of the snafu, stating “I’m embarrassed. Really. The lack of shits given should have clued me in it wasn’t the power couple.’
- King Blueberry’s parade of larceny and debauchery ends with no one injured. Total damages are in excess of $65,000. MGM and PRIME wrestling have agreed to split the costs (except for Dusk’s birthday cake, nobody is paying for that).
- Representatives from the MGM Grand have confirmed that the forklift stolen by King Blueberry during the events of ReVival 3 will need to undergo repairs to its suspension. Sources indicate that this is a common procedure when a vehicle has exceeded its maximum carrying capacity for an extended period of time. The forklift, at times ridden by renowned member of the eGG Bandits, “Beautiful” Bobby Dean, also suffered structural damage to the drivers cage that will require reinforcement before the vehicle can be cleared for service.
When reached for comment, King Blueberry had this to say: “Borrowed.”