New Signing

After the … abrupt … departure of Mister DOT Pfefferman (not Fluffernutter, as some stagehands had taken to calling him behind his back), we here at PRIME would like to announce a new hire to the fold: former WWA, Wrestle Coast Cascadia, and DEFIANCE star, “Magnum” Pete Whealdon.

He has prepared a statement:

“After the ULTRATITLE, where I lost to Seymour Almasy, I spent some time on a soul-searching journey, I traveled to Rishikesh, India, and followed the same path as the Beatles. Briefly dating a woman of Asian descent who screamed names out of the phonebook and released a string of hit albums that you MAY have heard of, so I won’t mention them here.

I became, truly, Bigger than Jesus. After this, I sipped several cups of coffee around the world of wrestling, never needing to stay longer than I wanted. Always leaving on my terms. Cigarette in one hand, dousing myself with Baby Oil with the other.

When PRIME came calling me, I informed them that my restraining order situations were completely and totally resolved.

History will absolve me of my actions during the ULTRATITLE.

PRIME will provide me with Absolution.”

-Dictated, but not read by Pete Whealdon
MMXXII

It’s expected that Whealdon will be in action on the first ReVival following Culture Shock.