Cracking News

For immediate release:

The rematch is SET. 

ReVival Eight.

UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE. 

Cancer Jiles will “cash in” his GOLDEN TICKET and take on PRIME UNIVERSAL CHAMPION and Almasy Invitational winner, Brandon Youngblood, for you guessed it, THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP. However, before that happens the two will meet face to face at ReVival Seven to put pen to paper so to speak. It’s said that after ReVival Six went off air, Bandit representatives informed PRIME officials of Jiles’ intentions. 

Jiles himself had this to unleash on the matter:

“Originally I wanted the rematch to be at Seven, but when I thought about it I realized that deep down in my heart of hearts I wanted the extra show purely to shit on him. In public. To his face. For all to see. I wanted to look him in his eyes, pat him on the top of his little brained bald head, and then watch his hand quiver while he signs away his legacy to someone who doesn’t deserve it.”

And in regard to Brandon Youngblood saying he’s seen Jiles’ best:

“Let’s see him drop me three times, or better yet, kick out after tasting the salty bottom of my boot while his eyeballs are frying inside their respective sockets. You know what they say, it’s easy to slay the dragon when the dragon is peeing sitting down, but give him back his fire and allow him to stand up and a Golden Ticket can turn into a Golden Shower.”

He wasn’t done. He just wanted to show Brandon how to break up sections of dialogue:

“My chips are down. I’ve failed. I’ve tasted bitter defeat. I’ve been humiliated. I’ve been scorned. I’ve been Brandoned. My precious safety net is removed. There is no turning back for me. No more second chances. Not to mention his longing, fairytale-like chase has ended triumphantly while mine begins in the mud he left me to fester in. Now I want blood. Now I want vengeance. Now I want to make him suffer like he has made me suffer… and he thinks he’s seen my best? Good. Just wait until he sees my worst– it just might be the last thing he does see.”

There’s more:

“I’m going against the grain this time and doing PRIME a favor. I’m putting an end to The Happy Go Lucky Bloodhound Fang Gang Crumb Tour, or whatever he is calling it before it can start.  Somebody better tell Impulse he’ll be opening up for another act. The pay is MUCH better and the venues are MUCH bigger, so he can thank me later.”

Tune in to ReVival Seven to watch the rails come off what is sure to be a fiery and contemptuous contract signing.