
Posted on 04/25/22 by Staff
ReVival 06 News and Notes
News Story
It’s time for your post-ReVival wrap-up and we’ve got a GREAT one for you on deck! Check it out…
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- Word has it that Rezin’s booking for ReVival 7 against Balaam the Mask of Malice is his punishment in lieu of a fine for his post-Culture Shock tantrum. If you may recall, this incident resulted in staff injuries and thousands of dollars in damages to production equipment. When asked for comment, Lindsay Troy replied, “Good luck, dipshit.”
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- Gordon Oliver Powell was spotted in Las Vegas, along with his massive bodyguard Jeffords and the ebullient Miss Maverick. When asked why he was there, he just said “I came to piss on Harry Reid’s grave, but I heard wrestling was going on, so I had to stop by.”
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- Joe Fontaine was said to be delirious after the conclusion of the Survivor competition, and at one point fell on his ass in a panic when a reporter approached him for comment because he had “mannequin-like movements.”
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- Roderick McRatrick’s whereabouts are unknown. Lindsay Troy is reportedly on high alert.
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- Baron von Blackberry was frequently sighted around the construction of the night’s Survivor competition, and was responsible for much of the decoration in and around it. The construction workers and event organizers noted him as surprisingly helpful, despite the fact that he refused to take off the mask at any time and frequently referred to the workers as “minions.” His work was approved by PRIME’s referees days before the show, at Blackberry’s own insistence. Due to his choice in stationary, however, a waft of French toast filled the air for most of the competition.
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- Nate Colton has been fined an undisclosed amount for inappropriate comments made from his Jabber account. Additionally, he has been instructed to revisit training on the subjects of cybersecurity and proper conduct on social media. He has also issued a public apology.
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- Noticeably absent on social media this week was any sort of post from Kenny Freeman, likely still reeling from the elimination of the Masters of the Multiverse…B-Team from the Survivor Tag Team Challenge. Randall Schwartz, on the other hand, thanked fans for their support during the past few weeks. This was met with posts of “go back to the multiverse, you weirdo” and “who even IS Kenny Freeman, anyway?”
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- There was an additional match scheduled for ReVival 6 between Genevie Carlson and Cyrus O’Haire that ended up being pulled from the run sheet. Earlier Friday afternoon, Genevie Carlson met with Lindsay Troy and asked to be released from her contract. Both women parted ways amicably. Cyrus O’Haire has not been seen since ReVival 5 but sources tell us he was spotted holding a MESSIAH pamphlet as he was leaving the arena that night following his Five Star Scramble loss to Rezin and Nova. Neither Julian Bathory nor Bruce Shanahan could be reached for comment prior to this posting.
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- Speaking of Rezin, The Escape Artist, along with his Norseman associate, were permitted into the MGM Grand Garden Arena for ReVival 6 without incident as spectators.
After several minutes, an usher noticed that “the Escape Artist” was unresponsive in his seat–likely due to prolonged blood loss from the numerous wounds he had reportedly sustained the night before at DEFIANCE Wrestling’s DEFCON event.
The Viking that accompanied him informed staff that he would get his friend some medical attention. After assisting him out of the arena, he proceeded to dump him into the back of a cab, then returned to his seat to watch the remainder of the show.
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- Pete Whealdon could be seen coming out of the bathroom post show carrying a container filled with a yellow liquid. He looked annoyed and displeased. When approached, he lighted up a cigarette, handed off the container, which was still warm and walked off. Notably the tamper proof tape was still intact when it was turned into the front office staff.
Gross.
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- Being a member of the winning tribe in Tag-Team Survivor, as well as the individual who sealed victory for his squad, PRIME caught up with notorious troublemaker and mannequin aficionado, King Blueberry, following the events of the evening.
“It’s like Mike Tyson once said: everyone’s got a plan until they get blown,” Blueberry informed our reporter. “I updated the line a little bit, because I don’t think the ‘punched in the mouth’ thing really holds up. I mean I got punched, but at the end of the night? Leaf blower. Leaf blower all goddamn day. Also where can I get the weapons-grade penicillin? I bumped up against Trent Sadikaj, and need to make sure I didn’t catch something.”
When asked about Melvin Beauregard’s threats of fines in the event the leaf blower in question wasn’t returned to the casino, King Blueberry informed us that this particular model was rented from local landscaping company, a claim we were able to verify with Chad’s Bushmasters and Hardscapes.
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- After her match with FLAMBERGE, Ria Nightshade refused assistance to the backstage area from ringside officials. She also refused medical attention once arriving there. Word is that there was a portion of the crowd applauding her on her unsteady walk to the back. It can’t be confirmed how big that portion was. Ria was not made available for press comments after the show.
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- Alexander Redding’s comment about him not being Lindsay Troy’s desired opponent for Hayes Hanlon’s first Five Star title defense may have some truth to it, however the Queen is not inclined to make any changes after Hanlon accepted Redding’s challenge. “I’m not Red’s favorite person and he’s not mine,” Troy said during the post-ReVival media event. “However, he took the initiative and called his shot after that big win over Mephisto. Let’s see if it pays off for him.”
When asked about Teddy Palmer’s interference in that match, Troy simply waved the question off and moved on.
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- MGM Management was reportedly very impressed with the onscreen debut of GREAT SCOTT, noting that “he must be a draw because that limo was huge.” SCOTT, on the other hand, was less than impressed with the reception he received from PRIME Management.
“GREAT BEAR WAS VERY HUNGRY AND CATERING DID NOT HAVE ANY HONEY OPTIONS FOR GREAT BEAR. THERE WERE VEGAN OPTIONS BUT NO HONEY. NOT A GREAT START.”
No comment from Melvin Beauregard on the matter, but we have heard rumors that MGM has been enquiring about the price of live beehives at ReVival going forward.
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- As they do every show, members of PRIME media tried to ask Paxton Ray many questions about the night. And as he does every show, Ray did not give any answers…until, of course, he was asked how it felt to punch King Blueberry, to which he smiled and said, “It felt fuckin’ great.”