RUMOR MILLS: JUNE 2 EDITION

Welcome to another edition of Rumor Mills! Matt Mills here and let’s get right to the dirt:

• • RUMORS ABOUND AT THE MGM GRAND! Garbage Bag Johnny and Muriel Puddings sex tape is rumored to be making a debut on TMZ soon. The two were joined by a mysterious third man, the internet rumors are outrageous as to whom the third man could be.

 

• • A confidential source told to me from behind a random door at the MGM Grand Garden Arena said that The Anglo Luchador hasn’t slept more than two hours at a time since before Culture Shock. In addition to the nightmares that he has admitted to having to people like Timo Bolamba, he is overcompensating for the Intense Championship campaign, working overtime at the expense of friendships, fatherly duties, and even his marriage. One source told me he didn’t even come home for Mother’s Day. Family appears to be concerned about his mental state, even if he puts on a public front similar to the one he has always put on while on screen. How will this affect him going forward? It clearly has in his last two matches against Impulse and Phil Atken.

 

• • According to an anonymous source, the number one seller for the PRIMEporium after Revival 8 was the Anna Daniels NEW ERA t-shirt. Though we can’t disclose the exact number of sales, it is confirmed that this particular piece of merch has blown previous sales records out of the water.

Coincidently, there are rumors floating about that the MGM Grand might be haunted. Allegedly, a shadowy figure suddenly appears in the middle of the night and knocks out certain individuals. One of these individuals claimed that the assault “…was like somebody kicked the hell out of me!” before disappearing into a vapor. Security was unable to capture anything on security cameras.

When confronted with this coincidence, Mrs. Daniels shrugged. “Sounds like you need to call the Ghostbusters.”

 

• • Speculation is rampant that, despite their promises to take up time on the ACE Network, the Masters of the Multiverse B-Team will NOT be appearing at ReVival 9.

Elsewhere in the rumor mill is a report that the Brooklyn Bridge is up for sale.

 

• • Rumor has it that Rich Rollins was spotted walking around DTLV near PRIME’s HQ.

Or, it might’ve been Jay Terror.

Or, it could’ve just been a random white guy wearing a red bandana, who’s to say?

 

• • PRIME offices received the following report from Savannah Scandal, wrestling’s resident rumor-monger:

“Lots of news coming out of the Fighting For Nora fundraiser–which was, by all accounts, a complete disaster for the Fighting For Nora Foundation. But as bad as things got, the night was still a success for Jonathan Rhine, who was spotted getting…familiar…in the hotel hallway with his date for the evening. The two were also seen the next morning at the Court of Two Sisters, enjoying their famous jazz brunch, as well as each others’ company.

“According to my sources, the young lady who caught the New Life’s eye is Jennifer Colton–daughter of wrestling legend Jake Colton, and whose brother Nate recently joined the PRIME roster. This plot is getting thicker than a bowl of gumbo, and twice as spicy!”

 

• • Although PRIME and the MGM Grand Casino and Hotel are on high alert for any appearances from the marked-for-death wrestler, Roderick McRatrick has not been seen in the state of Nevada ever since an ill-fated television pilot was cancelled. Sources say he was last seen in Kansas selling off parts to a Lamborghini Countash. My eye in the sky overheard him talking on the phone to a travel agent inquiring about tickets to Belo Horizonte, Brazil. While it is unknown his intentions in the largest country in South America, hackers have sent word to me that his search history includes… flux capacitors? That can’t be right.