RUMOR MILLS: JUNE 28TH EDITION

Hello again and welcome to Rumor Mills. I’m Matt Mills and let’s see what’s brewing as we head into the Great American Nightmare…

• • Word is spreading backstage that after being seen praising the chai lattes offered in PRIME’s catering section, the Dangerous Mix’s David Fox has been approached about possible endorsements with the company that provides coffee and tea for PRIME events.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little surprised,” Fox said, “but I’ve had a lot of backstage spreads in my day, and Vegas definitely does it up. You can tell the difference in quality. And when it comes to the taste of India, you can’t go wrong with Mandala! With a variety of flavors of all kinds, each cup will give you the flavors of India and the comfort of home.”

When asked for any comment, Fox’s tag team partner Mushigihara only shrugged his shoulders and replied, “osu?”

• • The Anglo Luchador’s increasingly unhinged behavior on Jabber has caused consternation in the PRIME offices. No one will say anything on the record, but I have an in with some people who work in IT. High-ranking members in the office, not sure if it goes to the top or if it’s just people trying to cut it off at the pass, have been trying to hack into his phone to see if there are any other explanations to his erratic behavior. One beleaguered junior member thought they had a breakthrough, but the response from the lead bricked the CPU with the “ah ah ah, you didn’t say the magic word” message from Jurassic Park.

Lindsay Troy is said to be increasingly distressed over this behavior. After dealing with what she sees to be old men put in harm’s way playing stunts over time-traveling and rampant destruction of property around the casino, this time at the hands of Nathan Filmix, the last thing she needs is another drug-addled wrestler making headlines. Teddy Palmer and Cecilia Ryan already gave her headaches. The Anglo Luchador has been increasingly unresponsive, but the MO from the front office has been business as usual. I get the feeling nothing could be further from the case…

• • Roderick McRatrick was reportedly spotted in Rio de Janeiro with the missing fork from Melvin Beauregard’s Chipotle order.

• • Baron von Blackberry was rumored to have been seen leaving the office of Lindsay Troy some time after ReVival 10 went off the air. No word yet about the nature of the clandestine meeting between berry and owl matriarch/PRIME boss.

• • Rumors have been FLYING around Vegas that a guy in a PRIME hooded sweatshirt has been mumbling to himself about THE ANGLO SAXON report from the last edition of Cracking News. People are thinking it might be The Anglo Luchador, but PRIME fans are notoriously respectful of kayfabe and dare not approach whom they might think is an unmasked luchador.

• • Though unconfirmed, there’s a rumor that Ria Nightshade has been working on a new finishing move. It’s unknown if she’ll debut it at GAN or even what the move is.

• • Some heavy rumors are abound that the Masters of the Multiverse B-Team are so intent on figuring their situation out that, win or lose, they look to have a “come to Jesus” meeting to reassess things with the man that recruited them, Aeon Khronos.

When asked about this, Aeon simply responded, “I’m not taking the lads back to 33 BC Jerusalem, so I have no idea what they’re talking about.”