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Cracking News: Hissy Fit

Posted on 07/15/22 by Cracking News Network

Cracking News: Hissy Fit

News Story

For immediate release:

While the world was watching Lady Troy and Melvin doing whatever they were doing after ReVival 11 went off air, sources deep within PRIME’s anus say it was just a smokescreen to cover up for the ABSOLUTE SHIT FIT Cancer Jiles was throwing backstage.

A person on the scene had this to say,

“He lost his mind. He… I have never seen someone so mad. So irrational. The things he was saying… there is no way he wrestles in PRIME again. He can’t.” 

Luckily, or unluckily, Jiles was seen leaving the MGM Grand and was apparently lucid enough to give a quote. It is worth mentioning his bags were packed and it didn’t look like he was coming back.

Well, not anytime soon.

“If I wanted to do the job I’d go back to Chicago. The pay is better, and the effort is far less. Matter of fact. Fuck PRIME. Fuck Hayes Hanlon. Fuck you. You think being me is easy? FUCK YOU. Have fun selling the MAIN EVENT for the next two months.”

Jiles then spit on a nearby reporter who was basking in canceling him. The defeated, begotten, and incensed Maestro added,

“See you at UltraViolence. Spoiler, guess we know who’s taking the pin.”

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