We’ve got some juicy content here this week, folks, so get comfy and get reading…
- Lindsay Troy and the rest of the PRIME Executive Team are said to be infuriated with the backdoor deal Melvin Beauregard negotiated with the Phoenix Wrestling Alliance (PWA) to air PRIME’s ACE Network programming. Sources indicate that MGM owns a stake in the ACE Network, which helped facilitate this negotiation, however the Executive Team believes this transaction was not done in good faith. It will be interesting to see if there are any ramifications to PRIME’s residency at the MGM Grand casino going forward.
- After ReVival 11 came to a close, we caught up with “Event Horizon” Hayes Hanlon in the office of Dr. Astrid Fihlguud. Hanlon took a beating from Cancer Jiles in the main event, with targeted violence toward the left knee, right eye, right shoulder, and specifically his right hand.
“The knee and shoulder show great range of motion,” said Fihlguud. “And his eye suffered a burst blood vessel, but nothing to be concerned about. The right hand, however, is showing significant swelling, but not consistent with a break. We’ll need to see X-rays for a true diagnosis, but my gut is we’re looking at a hairline fracture in the metacarpal of his middle finger. A four-week recovery at the most.”
When asked how he felt after the big victory, especially off the back of losing the Five Star Title, Hanlon offered a smile and five words.
“That one was for Nova.”
- In a phone call delivered shortly before he boarded a flight back to his native Fruitsylvania, Baron von Blackberry formally apologized for referring to himself as “the lupus” on an episode of ReVival 11.
“Look, calling myself the Napoleon of Crime, that’s pretty reasonable. Calling myself a disease that’s affected millions of people is a bit beyond the pale, even for me,” Blackberry said. “I might command the thousand robot armies of the scenic, yet diabolical nation of Fruitsylvania, and am responsible for sending untold thousands into the Exploding Soul Mines, of which that name is NOT hyperbole… but even I should have better standards than that.”
- Ria Nightshade spoke to PRIME executives yesterday and was granted a leave of absense to heal from injuries suffered during the Intense Title match at Great American Nightmare. We at PRIME wish her a speedy recovery and look forward to seeing her back soon.
- After being the best seller in the PRIMEporium for what feels like the past thousand years (minus that Brandon Youngblood “Beat Cancer” fluke), Anna Daniels sat on her throne made of money and endless ads to BUY THE SHIRT after ReVival ended. Reporters sent out their own reporter drones to ask questions. Mostly, it was about the boring stuff like how she felt about having to fight The Anglo Luchador (“Perhaps with a few less bodies, there’s a classic to be had.”), her friendship with Ria Nightshade after Great American Nightmare (“Nothing’s changed on that front. Sis is still sis. We’re just antisocial at the moment.”), whether or not she’s offered her timey-wimey services to Dusk given that his brains are almost mush (“We’ve considered it.”), and what she thinks about this PWAtv thing (“For a moment, we had a small amount of PTSD because of those initals. Then we realised it was a different thing and got over it quickly.”)
Any questions given to or about the two mysterious and somewhat scary faceless figures beside her went unanswered. So was the frustrated huff from someone who attempted to sign obscenities at her direction.
- Mitchell Quinlan has been released from his PRIME contract at his request due to injuries suffered in his match against Julian Bathory.
- PRIME journalists have reached out to several wrestlers about the PWA. The Anglo Luchador was one of the first to respond to inquiries, and he had some interesting things to say:
On the interfed alliance itself – “I can’t say that I’m thrilled to see the ACE Network go. Yeah, the TV pilot me and Timo [Bolamba] participated in got us in trouble with the office, but Network execs were really cool to me. However, anything that is going to help bring wrestling back to the glory days of Primetime Central and TEAM Wrestling is good with me.”
On the actual federations involved – “I don’t know much about sVo or Missouri Valley. I haven’t heard flattering things about HOW from some of my peers, but considering most of the trash being talked was by Cancer Jiles, I’m taking it with a grain of salt. I also have had nothing but great interactions with Lee Best, who helped me find a new gearmaker. I don’t know if you noticed, but my new mask on ReV 11 looked sweet. That was all him.”
On what he wants to accomplish – “I helped run TEAM, so I couldn’t participate in it, but from afar, I always thought the PTC Elite Championship was something to aspire to. I’m sad I never got the chance in the old days to participate, but if this PWA has something like the old PTC titles, I want to compete and win them, not just for me, but to show PRIME is where the best of the best compete.”
On future challenges – “Obviously, we’re going to find out who in these other three partner promotions will be able to step up to the plate, but you know me. I want the big fish. I’m not here to make anyone but me and PRIME look good.”
We look forward to hearing from other PRIME superstars about the PWA in the coming weeks.
- Following his confrontation with Rezin at Revival 11, Five Star Championship number one contender GREAT SCOTT was spotted at HOW CHAOS this week, the first extended olive branch of the new ACE/HOTv partnership. No word yet on what prompted the visit, but both SCOTT and GREAT BEAR were seen headed toward the locker room area, not the main offices.
It should be noted that both GREAT SCOTT and GREAT BEAR were well dressed, with GREAT BEAR sporting a fresh pair of Yeezys. Considering his current socio-economic circumstances… did GREAT SCOTT make a deal with the devil? Or perhaps with GOD?
- Timo Bolamba’s new wrestling school contains a mural of great wrestlers past and present, when asked who the artist was Timo simply shrugged and said, “I contracted out the job and the stipulation was that nobody could be present while they were working, so I wouldn’t bank on the artist’s name.”
Either way, the mural is a celebration of our sport and will, no doubt, inspire generations of wrestlers to come.
- The rumor of a new medical team hire from last week’s edition of Rumor Mills is, in fact, true. PRIME is pleased to welcome Dr. Graham Erly to the company; his first official show as part of the team will be ReVival 12. Dr. Erly studied sports medicine at Boston University and the University of Pittsburgh, two of the top colleges in the country for this discipline.
- Kenny Freeman issued a statement on social media after ReVival 11, extending thanks to the fans for the overwhelming support for the Foodie Magick Food-O-Matic 3000. According to Kenny, early sales have been through the roof since the airing of the informercial.
This was met with a lot of lol’s from fans on social media. One going so far as to respond, “spend less time selling junk and more time figuring out to scrap together a win.”
To which Kenny agrees. After all, if you wanna win, make it a win.
- In the days following ReVival 11, “The Escape Artist” Rezin has been spotted frequenting the local gym with an as-of-yet unidentified older man serving as a coach and trainer.
When approached by Simon Tillier outside the establishment one afternoon and asked if he could shed light on he was preparing for his upcoming title defense against GREAT SCOTT, the new Five Star Champion expectorated a sizable glob of black-colored mucous onto the junior reporter’s chest.
“You can quote me on that,” said the Goat Bastard, before wandering away.
- Upon getting wind of Rezin’s interaction with Simon Tillier, the Escape Artist has been fined $10,000. When asked for comment, Lindsay Troy stated, “It doesn’t matter if you put hands on my staff or spit on them or whatever, I’m not tolerating that bullshit.”
When asked if the levying of the fine had anything to do with the Queen’s recent match against the Goat Bastard in their shared promotion, DEFIANCE, Troy said, “No. The fine amount is in line with past instances of unacceptable conduct between my roster and my staff. And you can quote me on that.”
- We caught up with Fighting For Nora after ReV11, where Jonathan Rhine was pelted with eggs following a heartwarming reunion with King Blueberry. Rhine downplayed the incident, saying that “Bandits will be Bandits” and that his focus was more on the good aspects of the night. On the other hand, Paxton Ray told us he is “startin’ a war against anyone over 400 pounds” over the incident.
- Our crew were able to catch-up with one half of the PRIME tag-team champions following the events of ReVival 11, the relative newcomer “Reina Raspberry.”
“Two weeks later, and it almost doesn’t feel real. I keep expecting someone to come and take this away, and then I’ll wake up back home,” she said. “I know that Jared is very excited about what he’s been calling the ‘Berry Civil War’, but I’m just eager to find out who we’re defending against in a few weeks. Winning is one thing, but holding on to these is going to be something else. I may be new here, but I’ve worked in the business for twenty-plus years now, and I know how deep this division runs. There are no easy outs as far as I’m concerned.”
Before we could follow-up, Reina Raspberry excused herself to find her partner, “before he does something else that we all regret.”
- PRIME Executives are said to be very pleased with Buster Gloves’ introduction video and they have high hopes that the newcomer will make a splash in the company.
- When asked about the Cracking News post from Cancer Jiles over the weekend, Lindsay Troy rolled her eyes. “I told him to sleep on it and stop being a toddler. I don’t have any hopes that he’ll listen, though.”