Cracking News: PWA Edition

For immediate release:

Even though ReVival is hours away, and the eGG Bandits are in action against Gusts of Pennies, it would seem as if Cancer Jiles is sticking to his guns about not showing up until UltraViolence.

Hell, he isn’t even in Las Vegas.

Moreover, he isn’t even on dry land.

Where could he be you might wonder?

The COOLYMPIAN has been spotted sunbathing on the top deck of the USS Octane. Turns out Jiles found the PWA island base of operations, and has been circling the base while blasting Wolf Totem over the ship’s PA system. He allegedly said via carrier pigeon that the island base was easy to find, seeing as all he had to do was follow the trail of colors left behind by all of the OCW promos.

A biplane has also been circling the island with a message dragging behind it. The message simply reads:

“SHOOTS fired. POP. POP.”