REVIVAL 17 NEWS AND NOTES

• • The injury report coming out of ReVival 17 is severe.

Mark Lemon, a production assistant originally hired as part of the partnership between PRIME and the MGM Grand, was the victim of an assault by Paxton Ray. Word coming out of Sunrise Medical Center is that Lemon suffered a concussion. The attack also left him with multiple lacerations to his face and torso, and resulted in both a separated left shoulder and fractured left radius.

Paxton Ray was taken into custody by the Las Vegas Police Department while ReVival 17 was still on the air.

Following the main event match between the Kings of Popsicles and The Masters of The Multiverse, both Justine Calvin and her partner King Blueberry (Jared Sykes) were confronted by the Love Convoy for the second time in as many shows. After being taken to Sunrise for evaluation following the show, we can now confirm that Calvin suffered multiple contusions in addition to a moderate shoulder sprain and hyperextended elbow. The attack also reaggravated the bruised ribs she suffered following the events of ReVival 16.

The injury to Sykes as a result of Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy’s modified crowbar required 17 stitches to close, and he was treated for a possible tetanus infection. Concern about damage to his larynx was fortunately unfounded, though Sykes has suffered bruising around his throat.

Despite both being released from the hospital over the weekend, we have it on good authority that neither member of the Kings will be medically cleared for competition prior to ReVival 18.

Mark Lemon will remain on paid medical leave as he recuperates.

 

• • As stated above, Paxton Ray was arrested following his trespassing and attack at ReVival 17. After being apprehended, he spent the following two days in a local prison before posting bail. We tried to get a word from Ray on the motivation behind the attack, but his lawyers prevented us from speaking with him.

 

• • Intense Champion The Anglo Luchador was a surprising overnight hold at Sunrise after ReVival 17. His successful defense against Jacob Mephisto came at a cost. He was entered into concussion protocols after failing initial testing, but after overnight observation doctors determined he didn’t suffer another concussion and could go about his business normally. Those close to the Luchador fear the zone he gets into during Intense Championship matches is coming at the cost of his greater health, especially now that he’s dead set on proving that he is on the same level as Universal Championship wrestlers.

 

• • Coral Avalon was met by reporters following the conclusion of ReVival 17.

On his involvement with putting a stop to the Love Convoy’s assault on the Kings of Popsicles, Avalon said, “I put up with a lot of nonsense in PRIME, some of it from Joe and Sid, but there was no way I wasn’t going to sit by and let that garbage get any further than it did.”

On his match with FLAMBERGE, Coral said, “I’ll give him credit. He caught me off guard with an old trick that maybe I should’ve seen coming, until I didn’t. He’s a great talent. Better than he has any right in being at his age, just like I was. He should know, though… the same trick never works on me twice. We’ll meet again.”

When told about his opponent for ReVival 18, Avalon responded with a strange smile on his face. Though some reporters believed that they could see the color draining from his face when told about his next opponent, others believe that his smile was a sign of confidence.

At least one reporter noted that Ivan Stanislav, said opponent, recently learned what the word “yeet” meant, and that he would clearly demonstrate such knowledge to Avalon.

 

• • We caught up with “Event Horizon” Hayes Hanlon after a quiet night at ReVival 17.

“Things are definitely pretty frustrating lately,” when asked about the chaos of the last two shows. “Sykes and I were putting on one hell of a show at ReVival 16 before the Love Convoy decided to piss on it. That match deserved better. I was bummed to see them pull that crap again in tonight’s Tag Title match, and thought pulling that crowbar stunt on Jared was some short dick shit, but it’s a good thing Youngblood and Colton showed up. I just wish I was there with them.”

Further, we asked the former Five Star Champion his thoughts on the upcoming match between Universal Champion Cancer Jiles and Hanlon’s childhood hero, Nova.

“Been itching for that rematch since the Almasy. Jiles got lucky taking on Nova when he was like, literal days out of a jail cell. He won’t have that benefit at ReVival 18.”

Before Hayes left us for the parking garage, he had one more thing to add:

“Also, I’m pretty sure I was like, five years old the last time track suits were in style. Tell Jiles I’d bring my shoe shine kit if he had any.”

 

• • Joe Fontaine and Sid Phillips of the Winds of Change were said to be visibly disappointed when they learned that they were not booked to compete on ReVival 18.

Joe told reporters, “Yeah, I know. Jared Blueberry and Calvin Raspberry have their hands full with those Love Convoy dipshits. We had our chance, and I get it. But you know, it’s hard to get another shot at the champs when you’re not out there fighting for it.”

Sid added, after some thought, “Powerbombs.”

 

• • Days after a vicious beatdown during the course of their failed attempt to win the Tag Team Championship at ReVival 17, a statement was issued by the Masters of the Multiverse…B-Team, and it is a doozy to say the least:

“Randall Schwartz was taken from pillar to post by one Jared “Kingleberry” Sykes during our tag team title bout, and after a savage Jack LaLanne Driver has sustained a strained necktoral muscle.

His condition is stable at the moment, but he asks for your thoughts, prayers, and everything in between during his time of recovery. Maybe even some donations on the side, we’ll release a GoFundYourself link if we get to that stage.

We will not be taking questions at this time, only seeking revenge…legally, if at all possible. We’ve got our finest lawyers on the case…as soon as they stop twerking.

In the meantime, looks like losing’s back on the menu, boys.

~ Kenny Freeman”

 

• • After throwing Mortimer Knightingale through a wall, Ivan Stanislav was reportedly approached by the MGM Grand to pay for the damage. Alexei Ruslan was on hand to offer money, in cash, for the damages.

The two Russians were asked if they were paying for the damages out of their own pocket, to which Stanislav replied, “We learned long time ago that if we are working in federation, it is good to have “petty collateral damage fund” for any damages incurred to structures in our wake.”

Ruslan was quick to add that this fund did not pay for any medical bills associated with any “capitalist dogs they put down.”

The Russians then laughed for approximately seven and a half minutes. At which time it was determined that they had nothing else to add.

 

• • People are talking about Nate Colton’s challenge to Rezin for the Five Star Title, and a lot of those people work in the PRIME offices. The company has openly discussed featuring the Evansville native on more of PRIME’s flyers, billboards, and commercials.

Alexa Van Horne, the Vice Director of Marketing & Public Relations for the ACE Network, was particularly excited. “Nate Colton is exactly the kind of champion PRIME needs,” she said in a recent discussion with PRIME’s own marketing department. “He’s clean-cut, well-mannered, a positive role model…and he tests well with some important demographics. We’d love to use him as a larger part of our advertising campaign, especially if he’s holding one of PRIME’s championship belts. Colton would be the kind of champion that parents would be proud to see on posters in their kids’ rooms.”

When asked what kind of monster would let their child watch PRIME programming, Alexa declined to comment.

 

• • The lineup for the Belmont Classic is still weeks away from being announced, but there is already one piece of news coming from the event: one of the board members, Brian McCoy, has taken a leave of absence due to anxiety issues that stem from the Selection Committee’s discussions.

The nature of these discussions is unknown, as committee members are not allowed to speak publicly about the entrants until the full lineup is announced. However, word is that these arguments have been very intense.

Brian McCoy, disgraced promotor and former head of NWC: Pacific and the Diamond Wrestling Syndicate, has suffered from intense anxiety and post-traumatic stress since 2004. While he has been involved with the Belmont Classic since 2012, he has never attended the event, and in fact rarely leaves his apartment in Boise.

 

• • “The Escape Artist” Rezin is reportedly throwing a Halloween party to all PRIME talent and staff this Saturday night at the Hakkasan nightclub located within the MGM Grand.

“But NO GHOST COSTUMES!” the Five Star Champion said in a follow-up statement.

Planned activities include: a costume contest (indvidual, pair, and ensemble), Scream Queen/King contest, pumpkin carving contest, hygenic apple bobbing, spooky-themed cocktails, pin the tail on Cocaine, and a darkride through MGM’s “Haunted Casino.”

 

• • Several PRIME wrestlers such as Ria Lockhart, The Anglo Luchador, and Nate Colton have been utilizing the services of Timo Bolamba’s state of the art gym “The Asylum.” But none of them quite so large as Ivan Stanislav.

Construction of the Ivan Sized Ladder Machine has begun in earnest with proposals and bids being accepted for steel suppliers in the Udmurt Republic of Russia.

For those who are not in the know, Ivan Stanislav has accepted a challenge to defeat Timo Bolamba’s ladder machine via Jabber. Being that Jabber is absolute and if he backed out now, he would be known as a “scaredy cat” per an unknown source that was eating pineapple at the time, this challenge IS happening and may Tagaloa have mercy on the overconfident Russian.

Jared Sykes aka King Blueberry has vowed to be in attendance in the front row. And has suggested that Ivan NOT to eat curry beforehand.

PRIME news will surely be the first to know as more information becomes available regarding this Colossal challenge.

 

• • Timo Bolamba has been approached by the makers of Powerbomb Cologne to study the claimed effects that it made him…go large. The clinical study would be conducted along with an offer, if proven true, to be the spokesman for “Powerbomb: Advanced Age,” a cologne designed to be applied before intimate moments.

Timo only had to this to say when asked about the study:

“It’s true. Powerbomb Cologne had an unforeseen effect on me. I had to throw the dang thing over my motorcycle handlebars like a battering ram on the way home. But if it can help other men of my age connect with their partners, then I am all for it.”