Posted on 01/13/23 by renner
Bang! Pro Wrestling at Nagoya (1/13)
It’s Nagoya, and guess what? That’s always a great place to Bang!
We’re five days away from Explosion!! In Osaka, and the card is starting to take shape. The Bang! With Your Partner champions are about to have their hands so full of challengers that they might not be able to carry them all, since they won’t be in a fun-sized, easily carried form! Fatherhood will once again be decided in the only arena that matters, the professional wrestling ring! The Crownless King goes one-on-one with the Prince of Roppongi! And it’s all happening in Nagoya!
JANUARY 13th, 2023: NAGOYA
- The Aces of Bang! (“Ace of Clubs” Haruki Kazano & “Ace of Spades” Izou Yoshida) def. Sam Smart & Wally Wallace @ 9:41 by pinfall with the Higekiri (Hammerlock DDT) from Kazano on Wallace
- The Beasts of Tokyo (Seiko Serizawa & HAMAYUMI) & “The Godslayer” Akira Hanazawa def. Jin Watabe, Zenjiro Ikari & Lord Kurosame-sama @ 5:09 with the Ragnarok Driver (Argentine backbreaker rack into piledriver) from Hanazawa to Ikari
- Infinite Paternity Gauntlet!: “Jumpin’” Jack Sweetwater def. Bex Bolamba @ 12:09 by pinfall with a rollup
- Angel Quinley & Amy Campbell def. The Jacks of All Trades (“Picture Perfect” Jack Pizazz & “Jammin’” Jack Graves) @ 14:41 by pinfall after the Dead Aim (450 Splash) from Campbell on Graves
- The Winds of Change (Joe Fontaine & Sid Phillips) def. The Kazuyagumi (Saburou Tanaka & Cowabunga Kenji) @ 12:51 with the Twisted Tower (Powerbomb/Triple jump moonsault combo) from Fontaine/Phillips on Kenji
- Coral Avalon def. Junpei Tsukioka @ 18:44 by pinfall with the Rhongomyniad (Yakuza kick) and Carnwennan (top rope double stomp)
Haruki Kazano and Izou Yoshida took care of business against the young Gates of Avalon students, Smart and Wallace, in tag action. Or, rather, Kazano did. Yoshida spent significant chunks of the match in trouble, and the match only turned around when Kazano ran roughshod on the kids, culminating in landing the Higekiri DDT on Wallace to pick up the win.
Backstage after the match, Yoshida expressed frustration that he couldn’t do more.
The strange, yet brutally effective alliance of the lone wolf Beasts of Tokyo and even more loner wolf Akira Hanazawa completely steamrolled over Lord Kurosame-sama, Jin Watabe, and Zenjiro Ikari. Ikari fell victim to the usual tandem combination of HAMAYUMI’S Dragon’s Breath spin kick into Serizawa’s Tiger’s Bite, and then was thrown to Hanazawa for the Ragnarok Driver immediately afterwards. I don’t even think a god could’ve kicked out of that. Poor Ikari. You were not a super mega god, unfortunately.
After the match was done, the Beasts found themselves getting challenged for the Bang! With Your Partner championships by a THIRD team! The PRIME Tag Team Champions, Jared Sykes and Justine Calvin, came out after the match to officially add themselves to the match at Explosion!! In Osaka!
As usual, Hanazawa had no patience for these sorts of shenanigans and stormed off after grabbing Ikari by the ankle and dragging him bodily out of the arena for reasons unknown. So, uh… if anyone’s seen Zenjiro Ikari after the show, can someone check up on him and make sure he’s okay? I think I’m worried.
The next name on the list for the Conception Tournament is none other than Kazuhiro Troy! The Queen of the Ring’s son has already made quite the name for himself as a two-time BRAZEN tag champion, and he recently made noise of a very different, much more horrific kind by breaking Randall Schwartz’s arm at Lucha Especial 1. Can Kaz continue to conceive singles glory? And who else is going to be flying one-handed when he’s through with them?
Actually, if he’s the son of the Queen of the Ring, doesn’t that make him a prince? He must be dreamy.
It’s getting kind of ridiculous now, but Timo Bolamba’s new son is “Jumpin’” Jack Sweetwater, who bested Bex Savage with loads of distraction from the other Jacks followed by a cheap rollup. Sweetwater vowed in a post-match interview to run up a huge bill for Timo to have to pay, and that he and the other two Jacks vow to film it all for their pleasure and the pleasure of their (dozen or so) fans.
In particular, he expects to buy “a lot of Gundams”.
Due to their interference, the other two Jacks were challenged to an impromptu tag match by Angel Quinley and Amy Campbell. While Graves’ size proved to be problematic for the women, as did Sweetwater’s frequent interference even despite Bex Savage’s efforts to keep him out of it, Campbell’s savviness and experience proved to be a difference maker and Graves fell victim to the Dead Aim.
The Winds of Change took care of business against some of the lesser members of the Kazuyagumi. The most significant thing that happened in the match was that Sid may have teased doing something other than a powerbomb or an elbow, actually attempting to execute a ripcord maneuver on Kenji that he awkwardly turned into a powerbomb anyway. Was that supposed to be something else? We’re not sure, but I know one thing: Cowabunga Kenji does not like getting powerbombed by a man best described as a large household appliance refrigerator with legs.
In the main event, the Crownless King took on Junpei Tsukioka, who did everything in his power to make Avalon’s life miserable. Avalon, effectively working with only one arm, managed to overcome Tsukioka, flipping him over when he attempted to use the Roppongi Goodnight and hitting him with a Rhongomyniad when he stood. This allowed Avalon to quickly ascend to the top rope to land Carnwennan for the win.