A Statement To The Fart Convoy from Cheddar Youngblood-Campbell

It is way past my bedtime and I have had my snackies but I see that the Fart Convoy is up to their old tricks and, let me tell you, Bark World Order, I won’t take this one lying down on my back like they have.

Twice.

My Pop Pop is a nice man. He gives me the best snackies and makes sure to wash my wrinkles. You know what that is? Love. In its truest form. I have a Wrestle Buddy of my Pop Pop. Nobody would have one of any of you. Though, I just talked with Bucky and we’re both in agreement; starting at ReVival 24, we will have something more your speed.

LOVE CONVOY URINAL CAKES

Vickie Hall enjoys cake by the ocean, right? Well, wait until you get a whiff of sad cake when you need to relieve yourself on the faces of JCH, ‘Self Love’ Darin Zion, and the Melted Crayon Barbie Banshee, VH! They might even spout off famous sayings from the group like…well…they don’t have famous sayings, but THAT’S OKAY! Just point your stream between those jacked weaves VH calls eyebrows and listen to her scream about lawsuits. Like I even give a shit.

I’m a dog. Humans don’t stand a chance in Dog Court, you daffy bitch.

Me and Captain Serious are in the process of transitioning our trademark of hex code #F87FBB to Deb Warenstein, the true Don of the Pink Posse. You think you guys got the funds to beat us in Human Court? We see what The January Man makes in High Octane. Maybe his brain is still all mushy mushy from the Diamonds suplexing him so bad (Nate Colton is also a good Diamond who likes to feed good boys and girls treats, he is such an awesome person and we love them especially Captain Serious), but he makes what we call The Barf Money. As in, if we traveled the world getting our ass kicked, we’d damn sure want to get paid something that goes above five figures after the Tax Man comes.

You guys are paying your taxes, right?

Woof woof, bitches.