REVIVAL 24 NEWS AND NOTES

• • Coral Avalon missed ReVival 24, as he is still handling the abrupt closure and relocation of his wrestling school in Seattle. Avalon is expected to make appearances at ReVival 25 and Culture Shock, while also competing in the annual Sekai Saikyou Cup in his former home promotion, Bang! Pro Wrestling.

 

• • Obviously, the Winds of Change were not very happy with learning that the tag division was being shelved, especially so close to end of their one-year contracts at Culture Shock. The pair are in the process of having their contracts renegotiated to allow them to compete elsewhere while still under the PRIME umbrella.

In a statement, Killean Sirrajin said, “Obviously, we want Joe and Sid to remain with PRIME going forward, even if there’s no division for them after Culture Shock. There’s few others in PRIME or anywhere else as *unique* as they are.”

His emphasis on the word “unique” was strong enough to have its own gravitational pull.

 

• • The Anglo Luchador will be appearing at HLL Uno’s Midweek Mayhem again. This time, he’s cleared it with the offices, HLL Uno, PRIME, and ACE Network, and he has promised no physicality. Gary from Rumor Mills has discerned that the trip might be involved with his pet quarterly variety clearinghouse, Lucha Especial, but being that he deals in rumors and not news, we haven’t been able to confirm it. The Luchador’s camp has kept things tight-lipped.

 

• • In a follow-up talk about the Winds of Change’s contracts, Sid Phillips has apparently been trying to negotiate being able to powerbomb “anyone at will,” including Enemigos, without fear of a fine. These negotiations have thus far proven fruitless, because no one wants a lawless powerbomb criminal being given such carte blanche.

“We have enough trouble with the lawless powerbomb criminal we already have,” said Killean Sirrajin when asked about these negotiations. “Plus, once you let one guy be able to powerbomb anyone at will, you’ll inevitably attract other crazies who want to do get similar language in their contracts. It’d be anarchy.”

He started to add the words “powerbomb anarchy” to his statement, but realized that sounded stupid and stopped himself.

 

• • An appearance by Lindsay Troy boosted the n1ghtcraw1er stream subs and viewership by 34%. Eddie Cross was later streaming and explained the effect as a) there was an actual female on the show, b) girl in the thumbnail effect, and c) LT gives off a serious dom vibe.

 

• • Stuart Weiler III, Treasurer and CFO for the Rocktogenerians Fund, has announced that their pledge drive during Friday night’s ReVival 24 brought in an pleasant surprise of $85,367.12.

He did clarify that $47,000 of that came from a single donor asking to only be referred to publicly as “Future Mrs. FDP.”

“Rocky will keep his word about the evening of his time,” Weiler stated, noting further that, “the two will have dinner at Tacos Kissi in Laredo, and will check in about further activities after. Mr. de Leon has no marriage plans at this time.”

 

• • PRIME superstar Sage Pontiff was brought in for questioning by Burnet County Sheriffs after an incident at a yoga festival outside of Granite Shoals, TX. The Sheriff’s Department has declined any comment on the matter and Pontiff has not been charged, but locals speaking on a condition of anonymity have stated that this stems from the hospitalization of a festival-goer. PRIME front office has declined any comment at this time as well.

 

• • Matt Ward was not on-site for ReVival 24 due to, what was described to us as, unexpected personal reasons. The Hall of Famer has been confirmed for ReVival 25 as we build toward his highly anticipated bout with Brandon Youngblood at Culture Shock.

It should be noted, however, that as of this moment Ward is not medically cleared to compete, as he continues to deal with a serious knee issue. We hope to have more on that later in the week.

 

• • Notes from the PRIMEporium: Holding strong in the number one position is the PRIME Wrestle Buddies, proving once again that stuffed toys you can beat up are the ultimate gift for children collectors everywhere. But with the brand new merchandise flying fast from the shelves, the rankings are destined go through a shift. Surprisingly, the Love Convoy Urinal Cakes have surged in sales at a rapid clip taking the number two slot with the Bark World Order shirts at a dangerously close third. The Nova sleep shirt is also gaining traction. What going to happen in the next two weeks? Will the PRIMEporium go to the dogs? Will it be plagued by golden showers? Can comfort be king? Will we remember to do this in another two weeks or ever? Stay tuned!

 

• • While not at ReVival 24, The Russian Bear, Ivan Stanislav, was still doing his best to make waves. Stanislav was at a red carpet event in Moscow with former Miss U.S.S.R. and Miss Russia 1996, Ilmira Shamsutdinova, promoting a charity event for children affected by the “special operation” in Ukraine. The duo were part of a meet and greet and autograph session. A physically uncomfortable Stanislav, dressed in a painfully elitist three piece suit, was still cordial while meeting and greeting alongside the still-beautiful Shamsutdinova. Thought late in the morning Moscow time, Stanislav had the opportunity to speak to the press. Standing next to the beautiful model, The Russian Bear did not mince words. We prefer to directly quote, so as not to get anything wrong and risk a Russian Bear’s wrath:

“I am so proud of Alexei Ruslan, who stood up for the working people at ReVival while I, along with the ravishing Ilmira Shamsutdinova, worked to help the children who have lost family members and their homes and food to Western aggression. As anyone could plainly see, Rezin is nothing more than a blight on any society and Hayes Hanlon proves he is simply a drunkard. Hardly worthwhile material to serve as the leader of PRIME. Rest assured, people, soon I will restore honor to PRIME at Culture Shock. Now, I really must get back to the task at hand.”

Ms. Shamsutdinova, who appeared as if her arm was going to be pulled out of her shoulder as Stanislav stood with her, arm in arm, had this to add:

“I am so proud that Praporshchik Stanislav can represent our Motherland. Did you know that he admitted to having a crush on me when he was a young man? You should have seen the look on his face when I told him that I was flattered to know HE had a crush on ME.”

After laughing loud enough that Ms. Shamsutdinova nearly fell over (and lost her arm) the two went back to their charity event.

 

• • While not noticed at first, Alexei Ruslan did not stay long at the last ReVival. Despite having four Russian bodyguards with him, Ruslan was seen arriving at the Toyota Center not eight minutes before he walked out for his blistering attack on Rezin, Hayes Hanlon, and everyone in attendance. Following his time in the ring, he immediately went to the parking lot and left. We tried to ask him a question, to which he replied, “Get out of my way!” and nearly ran to the car with his four goons in tow.

The next day, Ruslan left an official statement, perhaps realizing this news would be released:

“I was at the Toyota Center for several hours before ReVival started to air. Any rumors that I arrived shortly before my time are nothing but mean-spirited lies. As a matter of fact, my understanding was that the entire time I was at the Toyota Center, Brandon Youngblood was hiding in a broom closet for fear I’d knock his block off. After my time in the ring, I decided to leave so that Youngblood would actually have the courage to make it to the main event. You can thank me later, Brandon!”

Nonetheless, if one put a timer to when Alexei was seen entering and leaving the Toyota Center, he risked being without Ivan Stanislav for no more than 21 minutes and 13 seconds.

 

• • After ReVival 25 went off the air, various reporters and members of the wrestling press approached “The Escape Artist” Rezin backstage as he was coming out of the men’s room (presumably after voiding his bowels of Taco Bell).

Expectedly, the self-styled Universal “Anti-Champion” of PRIME refused to answer any questions related to his unexpected exit from the earlier tag team main event, though he frequently insisted his partner in the match Nate Colton “knows what he did.”

When asked if he would do something similar in his first defense of the Universal Championship in the triple threat main event against challengers Hayes Hanlon and Ivan Stanislav on the first night of Culture Shock, the Goat Bastard guffawed and cryptically replied, “We’ll see how I’m feelin’…”

When asked if walking away from competition could be considered “punk rock,” Rezin suddenly flew into a rage and almost attacked the reporter who asked the question. Before anyone could be struck, spat on, or kicked in the face, security intervened and separated the Universal Champion from the press pool before the situation could turn ugly.

Rezin promptly left the Toyota Center in the back of a cab. Word is that PRIME CEO Lindsay Troy has been steadily taking his behavior into account, and intends to make an announcement at ReVival 25 related to the Universal Championship match.

 

• • Upon learning that he will be defending his title against Nova in a Falls Count Anywhere match at Culture Shock, Intense Champion Paxton Ray has been training hard at Gray’s Academy. Not only has he been working harder on his skill and technique, but also on the stipulation of the match — Foster Nackedy has reported that Paxton has assaulted no less than three Gray’s Academy students outside of the ring. “I’m really impressed with his knowledge of the rules, but it is getting a little out of hand,” he told our reporters.

In unrelated news, Gray’s Academy is open for applications after what Foster called an “unusually light recruiting class” in the winter.

 

• • While sales were not as high as they were in New Orleans, the #standing4Jon tee shirts were one of the most sought after designs of the evening. There have been reports of some people burning or just simply tossing the shirts in the garbage, but that doesn’t change the popularity of the new merchandise.

 

• • The Masters of the Multiverse…B-Team are thrilled to be celebrating their big win over the Winds of Change at ReVival by going to Applebee’s, where they will be appropriately enjoying the 2 for $24 special.

Kenny is looking forward to the Whisky Bacon Burger, whereas Randall Schwartz is salivating over the thought of an Applebee’s Riblets Plate. And of course, they’ll be eating the mozz sticks. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Or at least, they’ll enjoying their meal in the universe where the B-Team actually defeated the Winds of Change. Back on this Earth, they’ve given no comment after the events of ReVival 24 and have politely asked to be left the hell alone so they can regroup.

Probably at Applebee’s.

Maybe they’ll see Buster Gloves there.

 

• • Adam Ellis and Ginny Van Lear spent a quiet, uneventful night at ReVival 24 with Adam watching all the matches very closely from backstage. However, people did seem to be giving Ginny a wide berth whenever she walked by.