Bang! Pro Wrestling Presents The Sekai Saikyō Cup: Second Round, Part 1!

Um, I don’t know what that “retraction” business was all about last time, but all I can say is that we’re in Yokohama for the start of the second round of the Saikyō Cup, and that’s a wonderful time to Bang!

The next four nights of hot Bang! action will determine who moves on to the sweet sixteen of the Saikyō Cup! Truly, it is madness in March!

MARCH 23^rd, 2023: SEKAI SAIKYOU CUP, SECOND ROUND, YOKOHAMA, NIGHT 1

• The Kazuyagumi (Pom Shinjoku, Victor “the Constrictor” Jimenez & “Queen of Maniacs” Fujiko Natori) def. Jin Watabe, Ria Lockhart, and Roosevelt Black @ 13:45 by pinfall after the Beautiful Golden Murder (spinning powerbomb) from Natori to Watabe
• The Crownless Kingdom (Claire Merci, Powerslam Anubis & Ignacio el Jaguar) def. Hiro Taguchi and the New World Trash (Bex Savage & Angel Quinley) @ 15:08 by pinfall after the Sacramento Necktie (headlock driver) from Jaguar to Taguchi
• Saikyō Cup, Second Round: BULLETPROOF Kitaro def. “Ace of Hearts” Kazuya Fukumaru @ 18:02 by pinfall with a lariat
• Saikyō Cup, Second Round: “Hot-Buttered” Leroy Scrumptious def. “Jumpin’” Jack Sweetwater @ 17:12 by pinfall with the Moonsault N’ Pepa (springboard high-arc moonsault)
• Saikyō Cup, Second Round: “Lunch Lawyer” Lord Gavin Yum, Esq. def. Lord Kurosame-sama @ 22:19 by submission with the Lord’s Lunchtime (Fujiwara armbar)
• Saikyō Cup, Second Round: “Hawkeye” Taka Sakaragi def. “The Iron Idol” Riko Tsukino @ 21:12 by pinfall with the Iron Sight (Kamigoye)

The first two matches of this show were six-person affairs. The first was the gathering of the Kazuyagumi defeating the team of Ria Lockhart, Roosevelt Black, and Jin Watabe. It didn’t take long for the match to devolved into a fist-fight between the six individuals in the match. There was also a mysterious birdman watching ominously from the crowd, its googly eyes staring menacingly at Jin Watabe in particular. The end came when Natori and Watabe finally entered the ring, and went back and forth before the monstrous joshi ripped him apart with the Beautiful Gold Murder for the pin!

After the match, Ria Lockhart and Victor Jimenez continued fighting until they had to be separated by a swarm of referees and even Inoue Doi herself!

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The second of the six-mans pitted the full might of the Crownless Kingdom, the team of Claire Merci, Powerslam Anubis, and Ignacio el Jaguar against the team of Hiro Taguchi and the New World Trash! Though Merci’s impending match with Quinley loomed over this one, it quickly became a contest of trying to keep the massive Powerslam Anubis out of the contest by wearing down Merci and Jaguar. Unfortunately, Anubis found himself in the match and began enacting swift judgements for his opponents until the three of them teamed up to get him out of the ring and then dove out to keep him down. Brawling continued in and around the ring, until it came down to Jaguar and Taguchi in the ring. A sneaky low blow from Jaguar, no doubt taught to him by the Lunch Lawyer, gave him the opportunity to land the Sacramento Necktie to pick up the win!

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We begin the second round of the Sekai Saikyō Cup with a ruffboi battle between big man BULLETPROOF Kitaro and local Kazuyagumi gang leader, Kazuya Fukumaru. The Ace of Hearts and Bulletproof fought tooth and nail in this one, each of them smashing each other with their best shots, then getting up and asking for more. Fukumaru gave up a lot of weight in this match but his fighting spirit is always enough to register on the Richter scale! Unfortunately, fighting spirit wasn’t enough for the Ace, who succumbed to a wicked lariat that hit him hard enough that I think Kitaro should be wanted by the police for homicide!

Seriously, though, if we’re not arresting the Homicycle, then please don’t arrest him. That just doesn’t seem fair.

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The leader of the Jacks of All Trades got a first round bye due to his reputation as being the first-ever winner of the Sekai Saikyō Cup, but he ran into a scrumptious butter-saw, indeed! Sweetwater gave up a lot of size and weight to the powerful, flamboyant international cooking star, though his unique brand of trolling nearly gave him the win several times. In the end, however, he caught a big serving of Moonsault N’ Pepa and took the hard loss. That means that the entirety of the Jacks of All Trades have been eliminates from the Saikyō Cup without winning a match, and this is especially hard on Sweetwater – the first-ever winner of the Saikyō Cup!

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Few wrestlers in Bang! Pro Wrestling have ever proven that they could match Lord Kurosame-sama in trickery and deceit, but leave it to the Lunch Lawyer to prove himself capable in their second round match! The fifteen-year UK veteran went toe-to-toe with the shark in a game of wits and mat smarts, but in the end, it was a sneaky low blow that allowed Yum to secure the Lord’s Lunchtime armbar for the submission victory. Yum remains undefeated in Bang! Pro Wrestling, and he’s looking to be a force to be reckoned with!

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The main event and last second round match of the show came in the form of a grudge match between former Ironheart comrades, “the Iron Idol” Riko Tsukino and “Hawkeye” Taka Sakaragi! The match was hard-hitting and fierce, but quickly grew uncomfortable when Sakaragi went to another level to beat Tsukino within an inch of her life. The newly minted Conception Champion battled back to the point that when Sakaragi took back control, he brained Tsukino with an unnecessary number of buzzsaw kicks before putting her down with the Iron Sight for the victory for the former Ironheart. After the match, Sakaragi attempted to beat Tsukino some more, but she was helped out by an unexpected presence: “Giant Tekkai” Bando Ichikawa, still on crutches after his ACL tear last August, came to the ring and beat Sakaragi back with one of his crutches!

The older brother of the Openweight Champion claimed backstage that he was still a few months from recovery, but that he’d seen enough of Sakaragi being a sore winner that he couldn’t help but intervene. Sakaragi would ambush him backstage, attempting to reinjure Bando’s leg before he’s chased off by Gorou Ichikawa and Kensuke BLACK. One thing’s for certain, Sakaragi’s become a tremendous thorn in the side of the Ironhearts since leaving. Will it come back to bite them?

Karen Nakano
RingDispatch.com