
Posted on 03/27/23 by Staff
REVIVAL 25 NEWS AND NOTES
News Story
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- After what happened at ReVival 25, sources say Darin Zion is lobbying behind the scenes for Timo’s refereeing job. Zion says, “it’s clear as water when you watch back the footage. Timo issued a fast count.”
Zion plans on holding up the Alias Title match or even interfering in the proceedings to make a statement to PRIME management. Until such situations are resolved to REAL LOVE’s standards, Darin Zion declares himself the 4EVA Alias Champion.
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- The Winds of Change are set to meet Eminence at Culture Shock on the one-year anniversary of their unlikely debut. After the two teams agreed on their stipulation and Jared Sykes almost made liftoff at the nippl– I mean, hands of Ivan Stanislav, Joe Fontaine and Sid Phillips talked with reporters.
When asked about the match, Fontaine said, “Yeah, man, we got this. We got this.” He then proceeded to repeat “we got this” several more times, looking at each reporter dead in the eyes as he said it to make sure they understood. Meanwhile, Sid Phillips only whispered one word in response to any questions, and since we all know what it is, we won’t insult your intelligence by putting it to print.
Incidentally, neither Joe Fontaine nor Sid Phillips joined in the brawl that closed ReVival 25, and instead decided to take seats in the sixth row, eating popcorn and watching the fireworks. Audience members on social media said that Joe and Sid asked them repeatedly if they missed anything cool when they arrived. Their merriment only ended when a freshly yeeted Kenny Freeman nearly bowled them over and spilled popcorn everywhere, and they left the ringside area in a huff before Wade Elliott came out to clean things up.
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- When asked about his participation in the show-closing brawl on ReVival 25, Coral Avalon had this to say, “I originally went out there to try and help break things up. Turns out that when you put yourself in the middle of a fight like that, someone’s gonna pop you in the mouth or break a chair over your head or something.”
Avalon took a wheel kick from Sage Pontiff during the brawl, which busted his lip and required three stitches to close after the brawl was finally quelled. He will barely have time to recover from this minor injury, as he will be flying to Japan to compete in his second-round match of the Sekai Saikyō Cup against Sin Cordura.
Should Avalon make it further than the quarter-finals, then he will have an extremely busy travel schedule during the Culture Shock weekend as the semi-finals and finals of the tournament occur just days after the Night Two.
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- Kenny Freeman spent the night of ReVival 25 alternating between taking his Tylenol, taking a nap, and turning down offers from record labels after the shocking success of his first single, “The Culture Shock Rumble.”
When asked what he was going to do to follow up on this success, Kenny simply replied, “I’m gonna do the only thing that makes sense. I’m gonna win the Culture Shock Rumble…Royale with Cheese…whatever they’re calling it this week.”
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- Foster Nackedy was sent to a San Antonio hospital after the beating he received at the hands of Nova. Nackedy had lacerations and bruises all over his body and had symptoms of a concussion, but was ultimately released the following day. No attempt to reach Paxton Ray for comment was made.
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- On the Fine Front, Paxton Ray has been fined $10,000 for his attack on PRIME Hall of Famer Sonny Silver. For his attck on Foster Nackedy, Nova was fined $50 and the cost of an ice cream cone to be given to Rike Menner.
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- Negotiations between the ACE Network and Nate Colton have reportedly hit a roadblock this week, and what many in the ACE office considered to be a “done deal” now might not happen at all. According to our sources, Colton had several issues with ACE’s proposal, and negotiations between the Next Diamond and Alexa Van Horn, Vice Director of Marketing & Public Relations, have seen little to no progress.
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- Earlier today, Eddie Cross heard that Lindsay Troy was sad, so he thought he would cheer her up by organizing a raid in WoW to down Brood Queen Tyranna in her name.
After they had defeated the evil Queen and loot was distributed, the Alliance gathered and danced to her demise in Stormwind while spamming trade.
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- After his monumental (many might say “upset”) win over The Anglo Luchador and after the ensuing all-out-brawl between huge swaths of the PRIME locker room, FLAMBERGE was spotted shouting and searching every hallway and poking his head into every open door in a harried manner. While reports vary about many phrases the young Frenchman may have yelled out, multiple reports confirm that at one point he stopped, cupped his hands to his mouth, and yelled the following:
“PHIL! PHIL, I KNOW YOU’RE HERE, AREN’T YOU? WHERE ARE YOU PHIL??”
FLAMBERGE’s call was absorbed by the darkness.
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- For the record, The Anglo Luchador has confirmed he only deleted the Jabber app off his phone. When asked if he’ll ever redownload it and resume his account, he said “We’ll see,” the classic response of dads everywhere.
When told of Garry Ray-Ray Bolamba asking for him on the app Sunday night, he replied “He has my number. He can text me. He probably just wants to go to Shake Shack again. God, the money I spend on him there I could take my wife out to a nice seafood dinner at a non-chain place, or the whole family at Red Lobster.”
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- Adam Ellis made a surprise appearance on Saturday night at a Missouri Valley Wrestling house show in Evansville, Indiana to lend support to HOTv Tag Team Champions The Alabama Gang before their big showdown the next night against Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr.
Last week, Ellis received some backstage feedback that his promos needed a little more panache and sizzle to them.
So when Adam came out after the main event to cut a promo, he immediately launched a series of verbal broadsides aimed directly at HOW owner Lee Best for his reaction to Adam signing with PRIME last August. After ticking off a series of reasons why Adam had no regrets about signing with PRIME, Ellis ended his promo by thanking Lee for confirming he’d made the right choice.
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- PRIME received a STRONGLY worded letter from representatives of Ivan Stanislav and Alexei Ruslan. In the letter, they demand compensation for:
-1 pair of industrial strength red suspenders (must be made in Russia(
-1 black shirt with hammer and sickle over the heart. Size is classified. Simply order all possible sizes (can be made in Russia or China, if necessary)
-1 Steel collapsible baton (only crafted from the finest Russian steel)
No word on if PRIME will satisfy these demands.
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- Universal Champion REZIN managed to escape the bedlam closing out ReVival 25 relatively unscathed.
Since it was announced that he’ll share liability on the massive amounts of collateral damage done to the Freeman Coliseum, the Goat Bastard is reportedly hosting a “Baked Sale” to raise funds for the repairs.
The event will reportedly take place this Wednesday in the parking lot outside of the ACE Network studios in Las Vegas. According to the Universal Champ, no children or undercover cops are allowed.
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- This might border more on rumors than news, but we did hear that Lindsay Troy was planning on making a decision with her shares of Gray’s Academy soon. We tried to find out more details but as of publishing time didn’t have any further information. But something does seem on the verge of happening. Is Lindsay selling her shares, or perhaps trying to acquire more ownership of Gray’s Academy? More information as it develops.
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- Garry ‘Ray-Ray’ Bolamba has been looking high and low for his favorite lunch uncle The Anglo Luchador. We called Garry and asked him why he didn’t just call the former Intense Champion. Garry had this to say: “I ain’t got the kind of money a feller needs for international long distance. I had to take a shark to the cell phone store so I could figure out what the hell I needed. Sadly, my dear finned friend did not get me an international calling package.”
“But if you talk to my uncle, let him know I miss him. Our long talks into the wee hours of the morning. His incredible life advice. The video chats we did so he could still pay for my lunch. I’m heart broken and miss my favorite uncle.”
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- A medical update coming off the heels of ReVival 25, as the PRIME news desk was able to catch up with Jared Sykes after the show went off the air. Earlier in the evening Sykes found himself on the wrong end of an encounter with Ivan Stanislav when the massive Russian put his adversary through the ceiling. The attack was the result of an incident on PRIME’s internal Jabber platform that played out earlier in the week when Stanislav became the butt of the popular “bofa” joke. Despite the aggression with which the attack was carried out, Sykes was fortunate enough to only suffer a few minor cuts and contusions, leaving him capable enough to join the show-ending brawl.
“It’s for sure one of the weirder things that’s happened to me backstage, if only because you don’t often hear about guys getting thrown through ceilings,” Sykes said. “Still, was able to get a little bit of payback before the night was over, so that was cool, I guess. They should probably get someone to look in those drop ceilings though. Think they might have a little bit of a mice problem.”
With only days remaining before Culture Shock and a 40-person battle royal to crown the new number one contender to the Universal Championship, Sykes was tight-lipped about which member of Eminence would be represented in the match.
“We haven’t figured it out yet,” he said. “Cal’s got her opinion, and I have mine, and they’re not the same, so we need to get that sorted.”
When we spoke to his partner, Justine Calvin, to confirm, she offered the following:
“Jared’s a dumbass. It’s going to be him.”
Culture Shock will also play home to the final defense of the PRIME Tag Team Championships, titles that Eminence (formerly the Kings Of Popsicles) have had a stranglehold on since winning them at Great American Nightmare last July.
“Joe is also a dumbass,” Justine said when asked about the match. Unfortunately, we were unable to get further comment from her.