Posted on 03/30/23 by Hutch
Think Red #4- Culture Shock!
At long last, I have managed to write a new edition of Think Red. I do so apologize, and I have read all of your emails and letters and replied to them all. You are upset, yes. You are frustrated. I understand how much hope this publication gives to each and every one of you and to be without it is akin to being without air.
Sometimes, I take for granted the fact that I live this dream of a life each and every day and fight the good fight.
But we most certainly have much to discuss, do we not? Let’s get to it!
Culture Shock 2023
Yes, Culture Shock is just about upon us. The stakes could not be higher. All up and down the card, seismic events will dictate the future of the new and revived PRIME. I feel it only necessary to offer my predictions.
I also apologize in advance, because this may affect the buy rates, since my predictions have been, more or less, spot on!
Brandon Youngblood vs. Matt Ward– Goodness knows I probably will not even start watching the show until after this snooze fest. I encourage all in attendance for the live event to get your concessions and look for official Ivan Stanislav merchandise. Check out the PRIMEporium as well. Ms. Anna Daniels runs a very good booth, I assure you! Though I feel I have to pick a winner, I will go with Matt Ward. Truthfully though, Ivan defeated Matt Ward easily fifteen years ago and I don’t believe he has ever been the same. Brandon Youngblood is all bluster and no action. Does it really matter?
Alias Title: Kohime Mori vs. Mortimer Knightingale– It takes a real piece of trash to punch a woman. Especially when they are sucker punched. Kohime, from what I understand, did not even deserve it. I see Kohime Mori picking up the win here. Hell and a woman scorned and all that. Also, Nightingale is a moron.
Intense Title Falls Count Anywhere: Paxton Ray vs. Nova– This all plays to Mr. Ray’s strengths. No DQ, falls count anywhere, and he has been on a roll. Also, did any of you see Nova attack me at ReVival 25? I barely felt it. I see Paxton Ray positively dismantling Nova. He should have retired years ago. He’s already burned out.
Tag Team Titles Two Out of Three Falls: Eminence vs. Winds of Change– I certainly just hope the ring swallows up both of these joker teams. I mean, your division is dead. You killed it yourself with your lack of ability! But oh, if I have to pick a winner I’ll go with Winds of Change. Because Eminence is a joke.
Five Star Title: Nate Colton vs. Tyler Adrian Best– If I have to hear one more heartwarming “Colton Family Reunion” invite after one of the brats wins a match, I could very well lose my mind. Please, Tyler Best, beat Colton and shut him up for good. Do it for us all. Will you? He’s on a roll though, this Best, even if he learned from Lindsay Troy. Well, nobody is perfect. Tyler Best with the win.
Universal Title Hell in a Cell: Rezin vs. Hayes Hanlon vs. PRIME’s Savior Praporshchik Ivan Sergeiovich Stanislav– I know that each and every one of you may believe I am biased, but I look at everything through a completely neutral lens. But we should not be lying to ourselves: Ivan Stanislav will emerge the winner. Hanlon has repeatedly been beaten down by Ivan, to the point where Ivan is growing bored. And Rezin? He is trapped in a cage with the greatest wrestler to come out of Russia. This will usher in a new era for PRIME. One that is red and beautiful and fair! I am giddy with excitement!
Culture Shock Battle Royale– The only way Ivan Stanislav could possibly lose his Universal Title Match is through some terrible miscarriage of justice. If that is the case, and he is in this match, I believe all other competitors will eliminate themselves in an act of solidarity for the rule of law and order.
But if Ivan is the champion, I believe all the wrestlers will choose not to participate. Who would possibly want to have a match against Ivan Stanislav? Believe me. This is what will happen.
The Brawl at ReVival 25
I think it is important that we all reflect on what happened at ReVival 25. I know that I have. No one wanted to see that level of destruction. It all stems from the idiocy of Hayes Hanlon and Rezin and so, I must ask again, do you truly believe either of these “men” should be Universal Champion? Particularly after all the damage they caused throughout the Freeman Coliseum? I did a full audit and Ivan tried his best to prevent most of the damage.
Furthermore, I want to let all of you know that I am well and on the mend. Nova and then Brandon Youngblood thought they would attack me in some vain attempt to “put me down.” My warrior’s spirit burns hotter than anything they could muster. Both of these men are lucky that I am contracted as a mere manager and not a full-time member of the roster. If I was, well, they would most certainly be in trouble!
PWA-02 aka Ivan Stanislav Fights for You And the Scarlet Sickle Too!
We all remember the elation when Ivan Stanislav defeated HOW World Champion Christopher America at PWA-01. Do you remember that hopeful, warm feeling you had inside? While Ivan may not be participating directly at PWA-02, he will of course have an impact.
We all are aware that Lindsay Troy will represent Ivan, you, and all of Russia at the event. And America has picked some goof named Solex. But if any of you watched the press conference by these two bozos then I am sure you all felt a little sick to your stomach.
There is no place for the disparaging of women in our fine profession. Lenin himself said, “[Women] should all know that the proletarian dictatorship will mean to them complete equality of rights with men, both legal and in practice, in the family, the state, and in society…”
And yet, we hear this Solex and America joke about Lindsay Troy’s status, merely because she is a female! It sickens us. All women have a right to work. And all women are just as capable of great things as men are. Those who think otherwise cling to shreds of perceived power the likes of which we must tear from their clawed hands!
Thus, The Scarlet Sickle was born. Ivan and myself are so proud of Lindsay Troy for seeing the light and being not just willing, but overwhelmingly motivated to defend Russia, and by extension, the two of us and the rest of you. We should all thank Lindsay for being so willing to shuffle away her prejudices and understand that together, we can all achieve great things.
We have a very busy week ahead of us, Comrades! Ivan has a private exhibition to show some of the powerful people in Russia what a force of nature he is. His focus is singular. His mandate is simple! Win the Universal Title for all people and not take one step back. Nothing will prevent him from this just cause.
We will also be hosting a few charity events throughout Russia during the leadup to Culture Shock. I am happy to be able to attend.
I will close here, dear friends, as I know we are all so busy. A revolutionary’s life is never done!
Tune into Culture Shock! Watch Ivan Stanislav destroy the enemies of all that is good and just! Together we will usher in a new age for PRIME. But always, dear comrades, always Think Red!
Alexei Gregorovich Ruslan