LUCHA ESPECIAL 2: Tax Evasion, Results and Show Recap!

WELCOME SENORES Y SENORAS! I am Juan Pablo Cortes, and this is the recap for LUCHA ESPECIAL 2: Tax Evasion, which aired live on the ACE Network from Arena Coliseo in Monterrey! The show started on time at 7PM local time sharp, which is unheard of for a lucha show!

LUCHA PRELIMINARY – Magnus Destructo vs. “Don of the Deathmatch” Rory Hayes and the Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle, referee: Miguel Zocopico

The affairs started out with Rory Hayes trying to get one over on the MASSIVE hunk of humanity by winging the Homicycle into him. While the murder bike surprisingly left Magnus doubled over momentarily, it wasn’t enough time for Rory to take advantage. With a mighty roar and a snarl, Magnus grabbed the Don of the Deathmatch by his throat and chokeslammed him onto the bicycle. Ouch! Not content with mangling Hayes or his murder bike, Magnus attempted to finish the job with the Destructo-bomb. Rory had a trick left up his sleeve, mainly in the form of a rusty fork that he probably stole from a Japanese Denny’s some time ago. He jammed the fork in Magnus’ head, giving him pause and possibly tetanus. After sweeping the bike out of the ring, he tried a sloppy form tackle, but unfortunately, well, you’re not tackling the Death Metal Destroyer if you’re just a man of average build. A Destructo-Bomb later, and well, the match was academic.

WINNER: Magnus Destructo (2:21)

After the match, the medical team came out and brought the Homicycle back on a stretcher for medical care. Rory was left to limp to the back holding his back. I think he finally arrived backstage sometime around the middle of the succeeding match.

TRIOS MATCH – El Hijo del Papel Higiénico, El Gran Azul, and El Hueso vs. Kazuhiro Troy, Gabriel “El Baconator” Martinez, and El Poderoso Marmota, referee: Minos, El Juego Infernal

To say this match would’ve ended a lot sooner had there been any other referee but the Judge from Hell would be an understatement. It started with El Hijo throwing a roll of toilet paper right at Kaz Troy, which was tantamount to flashing the reddest cape at the surliest, angriest bull in the arena. If you thought his mother had a short fuse, well, to be honest, I’d probably be mad if someone threw a roll of toilet paper at me too. No sooner did Kaz have the dragon sleeper in the middle of the ring than did Minos break the hold for reasons only he knew. In fact, this match was full of antics so questionable, even by Minos’ standards, that the crowd began lustily booing the rudo trio just for standing on the apron!

There was the fast count on La Majistral by Azul on Kaz. El Hijo used a plumber’s snake to choke Baconator. Hueso punted poor Marmota in the huevos, which for a mini might be impressive enough to wave off a disqualification even from the least corrupt of referees. Finally, the tecnicos had enough. Well, one of them had enough at least. El Poderoso Marmota, after being raked in the eyeholes in his mask one time too many, went over to Minos and started biting his ankles. The tenacity! He wouldn’t let go until the finish was decided in his team’s favor. There was some tension between Baconator and Kaz on the tecnico’s side. Gabriel hit Gran Azul with the Bacon Bomb and appeared to have the pin except Kaz blindly tagged himself in. Looking the jolly food reviewer-slash-wrestler in his eyes, he locked in the Koji Clutch on Gran Azul until Minos, with an angry marmot-themed luchador still gnawing on his ankles, recognized the tap out. The unease between the two teammates continued after the match, but the fans still cheered the result, mainly because seeing a small wrestler chew on ankles was, for lack of a better term, uncomfortably hilarious.

WINNERS: Kaz Troy, El Baconator, and Poderoso Marmota (8:43)

TRIOS MATCH – Justicio IV, Dela Relampago, and El Ciclon Morado vs. Venganza, El Volcan, and La Saltamontes, referee: Timo Bolamba

The arena was HOT HOT HOT for this match, as the feud that has set Mexico ablaze once again came to a head here. Rudo King appeared on the big screen haughtily claiming that his minions would finish the work he began all those years ago after turning Justicio III, and that he would be free to claim the bounty in the Tax Evasion Battle Royale. This enraged Justicio IV so much that he came out like a house on fire, tagging all three members of the rudo team with his righteous fists! The crowd thought they would get justice served hot and fresh in record time, but a low blow from Venganza out of the sight of referee Timo Bolamba set Justicio rolling on the canvas. While he was able to tumble out of the ring, causing a lucha tag, Ciclon did not fare much better.

The rudos were MERCILESS in their torment of the Purple Tornado, working him over, keeping him from exiting the ring or getting to his corner. All Justicio and Relampago could do was watch in agony as their comrade got worked over in the worst ways possible! For all the punishment he took, he refused to give up! REFUSED! Finally, he was able to fight off his oppressors and tag to Dela Relampago! She stormed the ring like the lightning on her gear! Lariats! Calf kicks! She sent the rudos scurrying like roaches! She had Venganza dead to rights, but she also knew that revenge had to be served from one Justicio to the former one. However, as soon as Justicio tagged in, Venganza tagged out to a reluctant and scared-looking Saltamontes. Volcan and Venganza bailed on the ring and left the grasshopper to fall victim to Justicia Final, a ruthless package piledriver. The tecnicos won the battle, but the war was far from over.

WINNERS: Justicio IV, Dela Relampago, and El Ciclon Morado (15:13)

It was here that the PA announced Minos, El Juego Infernal, would miss the rest of the show thanks to the ankle-biting attack from El Poderoso Marmota, which elicited a cheer from the crowd.

JAPAN VS. MEXICO: KAPPA and MAGUS vs. Psycho Peahen and Sin Cordura, referee: Miguel Zocopico

“Smart” fans in the audience had been licking their lips for this one given how aesthetically pleasing both teams have been known to wrestle between the bells, and this match did NOT disappoint. Devil’s Gate is one of the most popular stables in Ichiban Puroresu Nippon, and to send their leader and top lieutenant out for excursion is a huge, HUGE deal. The affair started out as if it wouldn’t last too long, as the monster KAPPA asserted his massive bulk on the smaller tag team. As a last ditch effort, the Peahen struck with a chop block to the back of the monster’s knee, which Sin Cordura followed up with a spike shining huracanrana! The Mexicanos got to work isolating the big man, taking him down a peg or three with their assault, but the monster is a monster for a reason. With a furious roar, KAPPA countered a later rana attempt from Cordura into a gigantic powerbomb!

Now the time had come for MAGUS to show his wares. His mysterious hybrid kung fu and catch-as-catch-can style confounded both luchadores, reeling them, not allowing them to expect what would come next! Snap-mares! Crane kicks! MAGUS showed why many have considered him the wiliest and most unpredictable wrestler in all of IPN. However, a dose of Sin Cordura’s lack of self-preservation would knock the leader off his game. Barreling into him with reckless abandon with a tope con hilo and then a huracanrana into the guard barrier. The psychotic violence continued unabated as the match boiled over into utter pandemonium, utterly overwhelming LUCHA ESPECIAL’s junior referee! At one point, Sin Cordura performed a high-pointed frogsplash on the monster KAPPA through a pane of glass! I need to know who keeps leaving these things around the arena for Sin Cordura to use. He may need all the weapons and implements removed from the ringside area for his own protection.

The match boiled down MAGUS and Peahen battling it out in the ring, mano a mano. It looked like the Hen of Hell had things under control until MAGUS reached into his dark, twisted soul and was able to put her under the influence of his Choking Spell DELTA. The mysterious contactless maneuver that has won him so many matches in Japan had Peahen’s face red and her ready to submit until like a flash out of the blue, her partner popped in like a bolt of lightning with El Verdugo. He got the pin and the win for his team.

WINNERS: Sin Cordura and Psycho Peahen (20:49)

After the match, Sin Cordura got on the microphone and called out two of their three opponents from LUCHA ESPECIAL 1: Woodrow Wilson’s Guns, the New World Trash! They did not make the trek to Mexico for this show, but Cordura and the Peahen explained they had unfinished business. We’ll see if the current Bang! With Your Partner Champions will answer the call.

GRAYS VS. BORICUAS – Quinn Fleetwood, Conor Nackedy, El Cocodrilo, and Theodore Boswell vs. Princesa Caliente, San Juan Kid, Philly Boi, and El Cangrejo Asombroso, referee: Timo Bolamba

The budding rivalry between schools in New Orleans and Philadelphia took on a sporting tone, at least when a certain son of a lawyer was in the ring. Quinn Fleetwood’s prickish antics aside, this match was an exciting sprint as one might expect from eight gifted wrestlers with fewer than eight years of experience spread among them. The match started with a handshake between Princesa and Nackedy, and they wowed the crowd with a sportsmanlike display of chain wrestling and arm drags. Even though Nackedy’s training didn’t include too much lucha libre, he showed aptitude keeping up with the mysterious Hot Royalty. Tags came heavy and often with the smooth and friendly action interrupted only when Fleetwood decided to stomp on toes, rake eyes, and in a bold display of hubris, taunt El Cangrejo Asombroso with a stick of butter and a pair of claw-crackers. How he got the latter through TSA, I’ll never know.

Things boiled over a little bit when Boswell accidentally removed Princesa’s mask in an attempt to counter her running the ropes. The crowd was, well, less than shocked to find the identity of the masked princess to be none other than Peach Backshots. By my count, this is the third time she was unceremoniously unmasked, but the first time that it was by complete accident. Although Fleetwood’s unmasking of her at the Belmont Classic was ruled by Lucha Elders as accidental, many were left nonplussed by that ruling. The fan who unmasked her at LUCHA ESPECIAL 1 is currently somewhere at a black site in… well… we can’t tell you where the black site is because then it wouldn’t be a black site now, would it? The match ended when Nackedy reversed a victory roll from Peach into one of his own and got the 1-2-3. Once again, Grays Academy came up huge in this rivalry.

WINNERS: Conor Nackedy, Quinn Fleetwood, El Cocodrilo, and Theodore Boswell (7:13)

THE TAL BOUNTY MATCH – El Monolito vs. Madame Brilliantina, referee: Miguel Zocopico

Those in the crowd not familiar with Madame Brilliantina before the show were enamored with her when she made her entrance, as, true to her name, she threw glitter all around her as she paraded to the ring. She’d need more than a glitter bomb to beat the massive El Monolito, but luckily for her, she was able to keep the massive slab of granite made human off-balance with her flamboyant yet technically sound offense. She beguiled him with arm wringers and drop toe holds, and even at one point, she rolled out the mythical Lady of the Lake from her travels to the United Kingdom. The mammoth of a man was held off balance for sure, but the anger bubbled and festered inside of him until through sheer force of will, he broke through her glossy exterior and lariated her head halfway to Ciudad Juarez. After that, it was one gigantic AVALANCHA~! before the result was, in a word, academic.

WINNER: El Monolito (4:12)

After the match, El Monolto got on the microphone and demanded that although his blood debt to TAL had been satiated that he now had a new vendetta. Magnus Destructo got to wrestle two men (no one bothered to correct him that it was actually a man and a bike), so he wanted to wrestle a handicap match at LUCHA ESPECIAL 3: Lawless Lands. It is unclear whether this request will be granted, but knowing The Anglo Luchador, well, expect another two-on-one fracas to grace the junkyard in Tijuana.

TAG TEAM FEATURE – Eminence (Jared Sykes and Justine Calvin) vs. Los Dragones (El Dragon II and El Dragon, Jr.), referee: Guillermo Reyes, The Referee Intern

With Minos still nursing bitten ankles from the second match on the show and Timo Bolamba absolutely needed for the Battle Royale and for the main event, the task for refereeing the tag exhibition featuring PRIME’s now-forever Tag Champions fell on a 19-year-old graduating from fetching the regular zebra-shirts coffee to doing his first match. That inexperience showed out early as he allowed Dragon, Jr. to distract him while Dragon II spit the noxious Dragon Fire in the face of one Jared Sykes. While Justine Calvin was irate at first, once she saw the black splotches marking her partner’s face, she had to restrain herself from laughing while on the apron. While he would later remark that his eyes stung even after the show was over, Sykes recovered enough to be able to show the world he’s one of the best, if not the best wrestler going.

After the devious misting, the Dragons held an early advantage over Eminence, vexing a partially, temporarily blinded Sykes with their rudo devilry. However, once Calvin tagged in, she sent the Dragons scurrying with her fleet footwork and her fists of fury. Once again, the referee’s inexperience came into play, allowing the Dragons to get control again over the Champions as Jr. brought a chair into the ring, distracting Guillermo and both members of Eminence, allowing II to suckerpunch Calvin. From there, the punishment only grew in fury and intensity. They worked over her legs, trying to disable her legs from being able to move fleetly around the ring. If a boxer can’t move, she can’t stick either.

The break the Tag Champions needed came in the form of a missed tornillo from the top rope by Jr. Calvin tagged in Sykes, and through the residual mist still lingering on his face and in his eyes, he carved a path of fury across the ring. BOOM! Regal cutter to Jr.! WHAM! A cutter-style ace crusher to II! He would make the Dragons pay for their cheap attack, and no one would bat an eye at the vengeance he would wring! The Dragons had one last trick up their sleeve. II would attempt another shot of Dragon Fire, but Sykes ducked, allowing it to hit his brother, Jr. Calvin stormed the ring, taking II out with the Ruby Cutter even on her damaged legs. Sykes finished the job with the Omega 13 on Jr.

WINNERS: Eminence (17:28)

THE TAX EVASION BATTLE ROYALE, Referees: Timo Bolamba, Miguel Zocopico, Guillermo Reyes – the Referee Intern

The first 19 entrants made it to the ringside area, with 18 of them taking their place in the ring. Rudo King decided to pull up a folding chair on the outside and not enter the ring right away, much to the chagrin of senior referee Timo Bolamba. The only entrant missing was Felix Mullen, who appeared on the big screen before the match began. He said that he never signed up for the event and that one of his many haters probably did so as a cruel prank. However, he took advantage of being an entrant to give SHOOT Project a preview of what he had cooking. Out from the back emerged a statuesque specimen of a man, billed only as Moriton from “The Mongolian Steppe,” clad in black speedo trunks, taped feet, black elbow and kneepads,white wrist tape, and a sleeveless-cut shirt with the “Leftist Leaks” podcast logo on it, bald except for a braided ponytail emanating from the back of his skull. As soon as he hit the ring, the other 18 wrestlers in the flocked upon him, trying to eliminate him, but he shook them all off with great force. He started throwing wrestlers around with STIFF uranages. Etsy Queen, URANAGE! El Dragon, URANAGE! El Salso, URANAGE! Few dared step to the chiseled rider from Mongolia except for one man with no fear.

“Cowboy” Jimmy Donovan.

He blocked his uranage attempt and started throwing haymakers. As each one connected, Moriton stumbled back until he was against the ropes. Donovan charged in with a hellacious lariat, but Moriton tumbled to his left, causing the Cowboy to bounce violently against the steel cables. His backward momentum only ceased when Moriton grabbed him and then tossed him from the ring.

ELIMINATION 1: “Cowboy” Jimmy Donovan by Moriton.

The celebration was short lived as Moriton didn’t notice the throng of competitors needing him out of the match, including Lord Kurosame-sama, El Hijo del Dr. Raptor, Jr., Blackbeard Gutierrez, and El Guapo Grande. The four of them grabbed various parts of Moriton’s body and tossed him over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 2: Moriton by four wrestlers.

The writhing throng of 17 remaining wrestlers with Rudo King chilling on the outside, drinking a Topo Chico, continued to wage war. Suddenly, two men’s eyes met in the ring and they knew it was on sight. One was the hard-hitting embalmed journalist, La Momia de Hunter S. Thompson. The other was the apparent ghola of the former Senator from Kansas, Masked Bob Dole. They charged at each other recreating the ferocious punch war between Don Frye and Yoshihiro Takayama until they found themselves brawling against the ropes. Not to let a good opportunity for mayhem pass her by, Oaxaca’s serial mistress, Murder Madam, snuck up beside them, and with a devious grin on her face, eliminated both with a doubled version of her signature finish, the Plunged Knife Lariat.

ELIMINATIONS 3 and 4: La Momia de Hunter S. Thompson and Masked Bob Dole by Murder Madam.

As a business woman, La Empresaria detested layabouts and the homeless. Even though she was unable to pick up any of Moriton’s uranage victims to throw them out, she found someone most loathsome to her – El Hobo Aposteso. The Homeless Luchador was minding his own business, sitting in the corner eating a meager dinner from a can of beans when the Business Lady’s foot found his face. She stomped him, berated him, spit on him, told him to get a job, but not with her because he was too dirty. The arena took their collective eyes away from everyone else to boo this heartless bitch. Even Murder Madam, who may or may not have killed people (no one knows if she lives her gimmick or not), turned to say “That’s fucked up.” Empresaria picked up Hobo to throw him out, but with the power of protein and fiber gotten from his beans, he broke free, then broke wind, stunning the modern businesswoman, and then tossed her out of the ring to a MONSTROUS roar.

ELIMINATION 5: La Empresaria by El Hobo Aposteso.

El Hobo then went back to eating his beans in the corner.

The action focused in on clearing out some of the more inactive wrestlers thanks to Moriton’s rampage. Murder Madam notched her third elimination by tossing out a barely moving El Dragon, whose pain from receiving his uranage was compounded by the fact that his wife very well might be having an affair with the crooked ref.

ELIMINATION 6: El Dragon by Murder Madam.

Etsy Queen had gotten back to her feet a little while before, but she kept seeing her Cricut and Perler dancing around her head like stars in a cartoon. She was easy pickings for one Lord Kurosame-sama, who body-slammed her over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 7: Etsy Queen by Lord Kurosame-sama.

El Salso tried resting against the ropes, but Rudo King, still nursing his Topo Chico outside the ring, got tired of watching him loaf about. He took another bottle of the Mexican seltzer and chucked it from his seat hitting Salso dead in the head. The shock took him over the top.

ELIMINATION 8: El Salso by Rudo King.

El Lobo Rojo tripped over Beach Bum, who was sunning in the middle of the ring despite the fact that Arena Coliseo is not open air. Pissed, he grabbed the clueless himbo and tossed him out of the ring.

ELIMINATION 9: Beach Bum by El Lobo Rojo.

However, the Red Wolf left himself wide open to be tossed out of the ring by the oldest man left in the match, El Guapo Grande.

ELIMINATION 10: El Lobo Rojo by El Guapo Grande.

Ten men remained, but only nine of them were in the ring. Among them, one of them sat in the corner eating beans. Things got tense, and the eliminations dried up as the wrestlers began fighting for their lives. El Hijo del Wesley Snipes scurried to the center of the ring when he could, needing the tax money to stave off Uncle Sam. Lord Kurosame-sama, however, was aggressive, as referenced by his military fatigues and newfound attitude as Generalissimo Garry Ray-Ray Nelson-Bolamba’s newfound head of security. Murder Madam tried to pick her spots, while “Sovereign Citizen” Joe Milly showed his superior cardio running from anyone who even looked in his direction. The match broke open when Milly accidentally kicked the beans out of El Hobo’s hands. Enraged, the derelict shot up and started rampaging. He threw Punished Kraven over the top rope just because he was in his way! Then he moved onto the one who’d done him wrong, rifling him over the top as well.

ELIMINATION 11: “Sovereign Citizen” Joe Milly by El Hobo Aposteso.

He turned with wild eyes around to look for the next victim, but he only saw Murder Madam’s outstretched arm sending him over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 12: El Hobo Aposteso by Murder Madam.

After her fourth elimination, the Serial Seductress turned her attention to Guapo, trying to get, in her purview, the most dangerous threat to her tax absolvement out of the way. Meanwhile, Blackbeard Gutierrez spied him a shark in army fatigues and knew he had to lay claim to the prizest catch a pirate like him could go for. However, Lord Kurosame-sama saw him coming from a mile away and sidestepped him to throw him over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 13: Blackbeard Gutierrez by Lord Kurosame-sama.

Meanwhile, as Murder Madam and El Guapo Grande fought around the ring, they didn’t notice a clever lad stalking them. El Hijo del Dr. Raptor, Jr., a name that suspiciously hasn’t been called during the match as he was laying in wait, hunting like a medical raptor of his stature would, zipped by them. He caught the Murder Madam’s attention but it was too late. BLAM! Spinning heel kick sent her over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 14: Murder Madam by El Hijo del Dr. Raptor, Jr.

Then Guapo caught wind and swung, but the Dino Doctor ducked and casually flipped the old luchador over the top rope.

ELIMINATION 15: El Guapo Grande by El Hijo del Dr. Raptor, Jr.

However, in the excitement over his two kills, the Raptor didn’t notice that he was being hunted by the predator of the deep and the new muscle behind the junta of a heretofore unnamed island republic under the sway of the Slap Boxing Champion of Nelson County, KY. Lord Kurosame-Sama notched another elimination, preying on a species that his own genus survived long past despite being, at one time, sharers of Jurassic earth.

ELIMINATION 16: El Hijo del Dr. Raptor, Jr. by Lord Kurosame-sama.

The shark and the son of Snipes locked eyes. They were the only two left in the ring. All they could do was fight each other. Hijo del Snipes struck first with a backfist, but SHARK hit back with a kick. Snipes did his best Willie Mays Hayes slide, taking the shark off his feet, but Kurosame-sama popped back up and gave his foe a lariat with his arm… fin? Ah, I have long since not cared about the absurdity of such things. Finally, Kurosame decided he needed to finish things, but he broke the first cardinal rule of the battle royale to do it.

He went to the top rope, presumably to hit the Covenant of the Deep.

El Hijo del Wesley Snipes caught him before he could balance himself. “Always bet on black!” he said before shoving the shark off the top to the floor.

ELIMINATION 17: Lord Kurosame-sama by El Hijo del Wesley Snipes.

He couldn’t believe it. His debts were this close to being paid off, except a fresh and always ornery Rudo King was ready to dispatch him and win the tax money. He got up out of his seat, grabbed a microphone, put it in his waistband, stalked into the ring, and casually picked up El Hijo into a military press. After parading around with him for a mockingly long time, he heaved the Snipes-themed luchador into the second row.

ELIMINATION 18: El Hijo del Wesley Snipes by Rudo King.

Rudo King grabbed the mic out of his tights and started crowing about victory, how he didn’t care that his minions didn’t snuff out Justicio earlier on because he won the Tax Evasion battle royale. And what’s even better, he didn’t owe a single penny to any government! He just wanted to win to spite everyone else.

The thing was though? He didn’t win. Punished Kraven never was eliminated because he never touched the floor. He had camped out on the apron the whole time. Sneakily, like a hunter with all the ability to catch and kill Spider-man without any of the intellectual property rights to actually do it, he crept up behind Rudo King, interrupted his speech, and dumped him out over the top rope to win the match.

FINAL ELIMINATION: Rudo King by Punished Kraven.

WINNER: Punished Kraven (43:21)

Punished Kraven celebrated, repeatedly exclaiming he’d finally paid off his debt to Disney. Except the Mouse’s lawyers descended upon the stadium and put him back in handcuffs.

“Nope, that’s only a down payment, scum. The Mouse always wins,” the lead agent said, as his team led Kraven away from the arena.

MAIN EVENT: Vae Victis (Lindsay Troy, Kerry Kuroyama, Henry Keyes, and Clay Byrd) vs. The Crownless Kingdom de Japon (Claire Merci, Powerslam Anubis, Ignacio el Jaguar, and Gavin Yum, Esq.), referee: Timo Bolamba

The air was tense for the long-awaited main event between the terrors of Bang! and the emperors of DEFIANCE. The stares between competitors could have melted ice before the match. As much as the crowd wanted to see a faceoff between Merci and Troy, it was Kuroyama and Ignacio starting things off. Ignacio attempted to vex the hardened veteran from the Pacific Northwest, but Kuroyama mainly shrugged off his lucha-tinged feeling out with hard chops. They tagged out to their respective corners, bringing in the Lunch Lawyer to face off against Henry Keyes. Yum extended his hand which perplexed the Kraken a little, but he reciprocated, apparently not thinking anything of it. As Yum pulled back to try some chicanery, Keyes forced his way out of the handshake and snapped forward with the Bell Clap, which Yum escaped the path of at the last possible second. Next two up were the Cowboy Colossus and the Judgment King. Neither one shied away as Byrd laid in a right cross, which Anubis absorbed and returned with a thunderous chop of his own. They traded blows until both men started to show signs of punch drunkenness and thought better to retreat to their corners.

Then, the tension in the arena bubbled over. Lindsay Troy. Claire Merci. They strode to the center of the ring, the crowd going nuts dual-chanting for both women. Neither one soaked in the moment, as they were too fixated on talking smack to each other. The first one to budge was the Merciless Queen, who cocked her fist back to start the fighting, but it was the Final Boss who struck first, quickly kicking Merci’s sore solar plexus from her WAR with the “Godslayer” Akira Hanazawa in the Sekai Saikyō Cup. From here, Vae Victus began their assault, isolating the leader of the Eastern splinter of the Crownless Kingdom and picking her apart after her grueling tournament slate. Each of the four members took turns beating her down until all looked lost for the Kingdom.

However, against all odds, she was able to accelerate on the lift portion of the Kuroyama Driver and grabbed him for a devastating last-ditch counter German suplex. She struggled to her corner and tagged in Powerslam Anubis before any of the other VV members could stop her, and the Judgment King did what he did best. POWERSLAM to Lindsay Troy. POWERSLAM to Henry Keyes. EARTH-SHAKING POWERSLAM to Clay Byrd. The cheers were so loud that the damned in the Duat could hear them. Ignacio tagged in next to clean up the detritus and perhaps steal a win for the Kingdom, but after he cleared the rest of VV from the ring, he was met with a swift fireman’s carry and a HARD PK to the back of his spine from a recovered Kuroyama. VV took over once more, this time isolating the least experienced member of the Kingdom.

Once again, it looked as if the Kingdom was lost. Lindsay Troy in particular took great pleasure in inflicting pain with her trademark Koji Clutch, taunting each of the other members (Claire especially) as she wrenched on Ignacio. VV also took their liberties when they could, distracting Timo and using the numbers game to pile on the damage as the beleaguered senior referee held back the Kingdom while missing what VV was doing to the Jaguar.

ENOUGH shouted Claire as she risked disqualification and shoved Bolamba out of the way and charged the ring but was met with a Bell Clap from Keyes for her troubles. However, he wasn’t paying attention, and Ignacio floored him with the Sacramento Necktie. For his troubles, the young Jaguar was caught IMMEDIATELY with Clay Byrd’s MASSIVE Texas Lariat, but in the theme of the sequence, he himself ate the Scales of Dominion from Powerslam Anubis, who was rocked by the Kuroyama Driver. Kerry for his trouble met a Gavin Yum Galatine Driver, but no sooner could the Lunch Lawyer turn around before he saw Lindsay Troy flying at him with the All Hail the Queen Dragonrana. The Lady of the Hour surveyed the damage and saw it was good, that is, until Claire Merci rose from her grave like the Altered Beast and wrecked her shit with a Royal Butterfly Suplex. After all the damage she took though, the Merciless Queen stepped forward one beat and collapsed onto the canvas.

Bolamba didn’t know what to do! It was unprecedented, eight wrestlers barely moving on the canvas. So he employed his count. The crowd grew restless at five, started groaning at eight. When Timo reached ten, declaring the match a draw of attrition, air left the arena.

WINNERS: n/a, draw (28:47)

The wrestlers started coming to, holding various parts of their bodies. When they realized that there had been no winner in the match, one could see the anger, frustration, and confusion forming on their faces. They did the only thing they could do. They brawled. The arena came back to life watching the eight wrestlers once again start wailing on each other. The fracas continued unabated for a good five minutes before the other two non-hobbled referees, security, and the lucha libre young boys came out to get them separated. One of those young boys, however, had an agenda. Kaz Troy leaked out from the back and started wailing on the Lunch Lawyer to get him a pound of flesh from happenings on the Sekai Saikyō Cup. Even MORE luchadores had to pour out from the back to keep the grease fire the younger Troy started from igniting the rest of the oily rags again. Folks, I don’t think this issue between the Kingdom and VV is over.

That’s your report from Arena Coliseo in Monterrey! LUCHA ESPECIAL 2 is in the books! Join us in the summertime for LUCHA ESPECIAL 3: Lawless Lands, from a junkyard in Tijuana!