PWA-02 NEWS AND NOTES

• • Hot off the heels of a big victory at PWA-02 over the Kings of the Wild Frontier, the now 1-0 Masters of the Moscowverse are eager to go after the PWA Tag Team Championship won by Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr. Kenny in particular had this to say:

“We are aware that there is quite a mountain to climb to go after those belts…and we have brought the pickaxes for the job. Hell…we know the Alabama Gang just went up to 2-0 in the win-loss record after this weekend. They’re the most likely team to try and go after those belts…and that’s a real bee in our bonnet. We just beat a team from MVW, so consider this a direct challenge to YOU, boys…we want a shot at the gold, and we’re willing to run through you to get it!”

Randall had nothing further to say on the matter, though it did appear as though he muttered “Indeed!” in response before we could get another word from the duo!

• • Sunny O’Callahan (Joe Bergman’s valet) comment overhead backstage: “Jatt Starr is a creep. Ew.”

• • After the show, Joe Bergman hung out with his Section 214 supporters one last time following his win over Sage Pontiff. MVW’s backstage interviewer Kellie Burkowski was able to get a quote from Crockett Davies of the Kings of the Wild Frontier after he got yeeted by Ivan Stanislav in the opener- “Ow.”

• • With PWA-02 in the books, one half of the new PWA Tag Team Champions, Jatt Starr, had this to say regarding his match:

“You are looking at the PWA Co-World Champion, the Jattinum Standard, the Ruler of Jattlantis, the Sultan of SeaJattle, Jatt Starr! The result was never in doubt! I am a HOW Hall of Famer, darn it! And the best PRIME could do is the Winds of Change?! After tonight, the only change those two fopdoodles will see will be the change they beg for as street urchins looking for their next meal. But then again, what do you expect from a promotion run by some third rate trollup? Their roster is full of HOW jokes like Darin Zion, HOW failures like Arthur Pleasant, HOW castoffs like the Egg Bandits, HOW has-beens Cecilworth Farthington….or a bunch of festering pustules dreaming, no, BEGGING for Lee Best to notice them and sign them to the HOW. PRIME is GRIME. In Danicus Jatticus Vincium!”

Jatt Starr proceeded to kick a bunny which he claimed hopped in front of his foot before entering an El Camino. The driver, a man named Alvin, later claimed he was confused as to why the Thane of Starrkarth entered his vehicle, but was told, “…he wouldn’t get out, see? It would ruin the ‘coolness’ of his exit so I drove him around the corner. Told me he’d give me fifty bucks, instead he gave a coupon for a free hot dog at someplace called ‘Liver n’ Lips’ in Cleveland. Looked like a fifty dollar bill. It sucks, cuz I hate Cleveland.”

• • And in non-PWA news, does it count as news to say that Paxton Ray beat the blood, sweat, and piss out of Chandler Tsonda after their match at ReV 29? Well, Paxton Ray beat the blood, sweat, and piss out of Chandler Tsonda after their match at ReV 29.

The Tsuperstar Enterprises press office released the following statement, on behalf of Tsonda: “Yes, Paxton Ray did beat the blood, sweat, and piss out of me at ReV 29. Yes, for the second time in two matches, I needed docs to kiss my boo-boos and give me something stronger than baby aspirin. Yes, Foster Nackedy should be very careful when he starts his car. Yes, my status for ReV 30 is up in the air due the same back and knee issues that the dirt sheets keep saying should have kept me retired. Yes, I read the dirtsheets, and some of you bloggers might want to scroll up to see the advice I gave that dickweed in the helmet. Yes, I am aware that Tropical Turmoil is in my hometown, and yes, I’m pressed that I can’t go out and win a Universal Title shot in front of the homies.

And no, I’m not letting someone else write my statement; print it just like this, and make sure it says the part about Nackedy, and that I’m gonna kick his teeth into the backside his skull.”