THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN. THE STREAM WILL BEGIN SHORTLY.
These words grace the screen, while some sweet prog rock jamz grace your ears. We should probably figure out who picks the music for this, and fire them. Eventually, both the words and the music fade out, to be replaced by the program you’re actually here to see.
The video fades in with two people seated at a long desk, like the weirdest evening news program you’ve ever seen. One one side, we have a woman in her late twenties, with green and blue streaks in her brown hair. She’s dressed smartly in a white top underneath a black blazer.
On the other, there is a grizzled old man with thinning hair, three-day stubble, and a glass eye. He’s also got a stained old lab coat and a stethoscope, because of course he does.
Chloe London: Good evening, faithful Flynn fans! My name is Chloe London; I provide play-by-play commentary for the Midwest Wrestling Kartel. I’m joined tonight by Sawyer “Sawbones” Burns, UNDERGROUND’s color commentator and head medic.
Sawyer Burns: Great t’be here.
God, the man even sounds like he drinks gravel.
Chloe London: Together we’re here to announce the teams that will be competing in this year’s Milo Flynn Cup! The Flynn is one of the premier indy wrestling events of the summer, as tag teams from all over the world come to St. Paul, not just to test themselves against the best…but to prove they belong among them.
Sawyer Burns: Whole buncha legendary teams have made their names or cemented their legacies here. No Quarter, Sound & Fury, the Evil Russians, Route 666…the list goes on. This year’s tournament looks t’be the biggest one yet; we got some REAL heavy hitters.
Chloe London: No doubt about that, Sawyer! Let’s stop wasting time and show the faces that will be competing in the 2023 Milo Flynn Cup!
Chloe London: Bennet Bronco and King Oso are a bit of an odd couple team, but they’re definitely one to watch. Very skilled, but VERY mean. Bronco’s no stranger to rulebreaking, and Oso is the kind to throw someone for distance.
Sawyer Burns: Real excited to see these guys in action. They been kickin’ around LLL for years, an’ they just signed to SHOOT Project. Tougher’n boot leather, these guys.
GLUE MAN GROUP
Sawyer Burns: These guys are a roller coaster for damn sure. Joe Fontaine an’ Sid Phillips are the sons of Joey Malone an’ Daniel Phillips, trained by Coral Avalon, havin’ a great run through PRIME but can’t quite break through to win the tag straps. Then they stab their mentor in the back an’ join up with the Glueminati! They got a killer instinct now, an’ that could be what they need to break through.
Chloe London: That could very well be, Sawyer. They were already dangerous, with Fontaine’s technical skills and Sid Phillips’ mastery of the powerbomb. It’ll be interesting to see how this new attitude serves them.
Chloe London: Cory Kensington and Jamaal Ingram are a pair of standouts from the London scene; their high-flying style have gained them a lot of attention and acclaim.
Sawyer Burns: These guys are two of the most exciting exports from the English wrestling scene in a long time. Almost as good as London Underground, only they don’t smash people’s heads in with chairs.
Chloe London: Some might view that as a positive, Sawbones.
Sawyer Burns: Who? Point ‘em out. I just wanna talk.
KINGS OF THE WILD FRONTIER
Sawyer Burns: Boone Daniels and Crockett Davies have been tearing through MVW Developmental this year, and not long after breaking into the main roster they’re also looking to make their names in the Flynn Cup. Davies brings the brawn, Daniels brings the brain, and they’re both hoping to bring the Flynn Cup home.
Chloe London: These guys are definitely a throwback to wrestling’s past, but I think they’ve got a bright future ahead of them.
NO LAUGHING MATTER
Chloe London: Domingo Cruz and Frank Pastore, the hand-picked proteges of PRIME star Tony Gamble, have put together a very impressive string of performances so far. From their win at the first PWA live event, to a strong showing in Bang! Pro Wrestling so far this year, they’re definitely a team on the rise.
Sawyer Burns: They got skill, style, an’ a casual relationship with the rules. They’re gonna go far, you mark my words. Hell, I bet they’d be right at home with us in Phoenix.
Sawyer Burns: Lil Virtuoso X an’ BASHTIN are opposites in just about every way–size, style, personality–but you put ‘em together an’ they’re a dangerous combination. These guys have been tearin’ it up in Buffalo and they’re ready to break through.
Chloe London: Agreed, Sawyer. Virtuoso brings agility and charisma; BASHTIN has the raw power. Just one of many compelling young teams in this year’s tournament.
SURF EXPRESS BRO
Chloe London: Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson are another team having a breakout year. They’ve been doing very well in MVW, and had a run with their tag team titles. They’re flashy, they’re fun, and they’re ready to make good on their potential.
Sawyer Burns: How you gonna call yourself surfers if you’re from Idaho? That don’t make no sense.
Chloe London: Is it more or less ridiculous than you calling yourself a doctor?
Sawyer Burns: I never call myself that. My lawyer said I really shouldn’t.
Chloe London: Is your lawyer actually a lawyer?
Sawyer Burns: …
Chloe London: Now let’s get into some returning favorites. There’s an interesting development this year, with a number of entries featuring old faces in new situations. Let’s check them out!
Sawyer Burns: David Fox is back, but his new partner is an ol’ favorite of mine. Rob Sharpe’s been knocking people’s heads in for twenty years, an’ these two ol’ dogs are bringing new life to SHOOT Project.
Chloe London: These two bring so much experience to the table. They may not have been teaming long, but you’ve got to consider them a dark horse candidate.
Chloe London: Coral Avalon is back for his eighth Flynn Cup…but for the first time, Franco Marchesi won’t be teaming with him. Earlier this year, Franco suffered a serious injury that will keep him out of action for quite a while. Taking Marchesi’s place is Lord Gavin Yum, Esq. The Lunch Lawyer is a valued member of the Kingdom, and his submission skills are rivaled only by his mastery of Lunch Law.
Sawyer Burns: But not copyright law. Or maritime law. Or…y’know, just regular law.
Chloe London: Gavin’s your lawyer, isn’t he?
THE DSA HORDE
Sawyer Burns: I thought you said we had returning favorites.
Chloe London: We do. Unfortunately, we also have Felix Mullen.
Sawyer Burns: Last year, Felix an’ his girlyfriend Peach Backshots put up a strong effort in a first-round loss. But earlier in the summer Felix cut ties with Peach in multiple ways. Now he’s pallin’ around with the monstrous Moriton!
Chloe London: Moriton is a champion in Mongolian Bokh, and now he’s showing off those skills here in the states.
Sawyer Burns: He’ll be just as damaging to their opponents’ bodies as Felix is to their ears.
THE SCURVY KNAVES
Chloe London: 30-year wrestling veteran “Salty” Pete Yardley has been part of every Milo Flynn Cup since its inception in 2013. This year he’ll be doing it as support for a new team: “Cap’n” Brianna Kincaid and “Fancy” Dan Winthorpe, a pair of relative newcomers from the San Francisco area.
Sawyer Burns: Probably for the best. Pete’s well past his prime, and every year has been more of a struggle. Last year went so bad his old partner, Joe Raleigh, left the arena as soon as their match was over. But he’s still got a lot of experience, and he can use that to help the next generation of pirate wrestlers.
Chloe London: Our next few entrants are fully intact units returning to the Flynn Cup…in fact, all three were participants in last year’s event!
NEW WORLD TRASH
Sawyer Burns: The New World Trash came outta NOWHERE and took the whole damn tournament last year, with big wins over London Underground, the New East Side Angels, the Dark Overlords of Wrestling, and then the Coltons in the final. Two completely reckless gals who come right out an’ tell ya “the devil may care, but we sure as hell don’t.”
Chloe London: Bex Savage and Angel Quinley have followed up on that success by winning the Bang! With Your Partner titles earlier this year. Now they’re looking to make history again. Being the first team to win the Flynn Cup twice would be an unprecedented accomplishment…but to do it in back-to-back years? Almost incomprehensible.
LOS REBELDES DEL BIEN
Chloe London: Last year this trio reached the second round; they may have lost to the Kingdom but they took enough out of Avalon and Marchesi that they ran out of gas against the Coltons in the semifinal. These guys are the total package, with a little something extra. Emphasis on “little”…and, honestly, “extra.”
Sawyer Burns: Persona Non Grata and Pedro Gonzales are very skilled, and Mestizo is an absolute menace on the outside. They’re another dark horse pick to win, but they’re definitely bringing chaos.
SOUND & FURY
Sawyer Burns: They’re back again! The 2017 Flynn Cup winners had a rough draw last year, goin’ up against the Crownless Kingdom in the first round. They put on the match of the tournament, but you know that won’t be enough for Ian Nackedy and Gildenstern.
Chloe London: Nobody has ever won the Flynn twice; if Ian and Gil can pull that off, it’ll be the cherry on top of their already Hall of Fame-worthy careers.
Sawyer Burns: These boys are unpredictable, wily, an’ dangerous as a rattlesnake in your sleeping bag.
Chloe London: You spent all day thinking of that one, didn’t you.
Sawyer Burns: Our last two teams are new to the event, but they don’t quite fit in with the others. That’s ‘cause both teams have pretty damn impressive pedigrees. They ain’t rookies, they’re ringers.
Chloe London: Lindsay Troy and Henry Keyes have done just about everything there is to do in professional wrestling. You name a territory, they’ve probably kicked ass there. Right now they’re dominating in DEFIANCE, and they’re planning to do the same in the Flynn.
Sawyer Burns: God DAMN, that’s a pickup! These two are living legends, an’ you gotta figure they’re the runaway favorites to win the whole tournament.
Chloe London: Maybe, Sawyer. But then again…maybe not. Because the final team taking part in the 2023 Milo Flynn Cup is…
Sawyer Burns: God DOUBLE damn! Jared Sykes and Justine Calvin are comin’ to the Twin Cities!
Chloe London: Jared Sykes is no stranger to the city; he cut his teeth here back in 2000 as a breakout star for Minnesota State Wrestling. While Justine never reached the same level of singles glory, their run through PRIME’s tag team division was absolutely unparalleled. Champions from wire to wire, they defeated all comers until the belts were retired.
Sawyer Burns: Now the One, the Only, the Forever…are gonna put themselves through hell for a new prize.
Chloe London: That’s our lineup! These sixteen teams will fight it out a month from now to determine who takes home the Milo Flynn Cup!
Sawyer Burns: I didn’t know how we could top last year, but we done it! This bracket has gotta be bigger’n any other in history!
Chloe London: Would you say that’s worth a God TRIPLE Damn?
Sawyer Burns: Nope, that’s reserved for my wife’s cheesecake and the Raiders winnin’ the Super Bowl.
Chloe London: For Sawyer Burns, this is Chloe London signing off. We’ll see you in September for the 2023 Milo Flynn Cup!
THE 2023 MILO FLYNN CUP
ROY WILKINS AUDITORIUM
ST. PAUL, MN
SEPTEMBER 1-2, 2023