REVIVAL 32 NEWS AND NOTES

• • Savannah Scandal has been *hard* banned from future PRIME events. According to Lindsay Troy, anyone who allows her into an event will be severely reprimanded. With bricks. And possibly a chainsaw.

Savannah’s jabber account has also been suspended, despite the fact that she does not have one. “Just being thorough,” a PRIME representative said.

 

• • The news desk can confirm that Justine Calvin was stopped by security backstage following the conclusion of ReVival 32 once word got out that she was looking for Nate Colton. A large contingent of Enemigos were dispatched to restrain Calvin after some threatening messages were sent on Jabber about the nature of the conversation she wanted to have with Colton following the news that he was responsible for brokering Savannah Scandal’s backstage access. The scene became tense for a while as Calvin refused to back down, but ultimately cooler heads prevailed and we’re pleased to report that things did not escalate further.

 

• • A representative from The Troy Boys has reached out to let us know that their agreement with PRIME extends beyond ReVival 32. The details on their arrangement are not yet known, but we’ve been told that their deal is very similar to the Jimmy Bonafide Dancers. This revelation came as something of a surprise, because to-date no one has been able to confirm how the Bonafides received their access or who pays their nominal appearance fee. Further complicating things is the fact that Troy Boys member Zephram was seen attempting to put a vending machine in the Koji Clutch following the events of ReVival 32.

 

• • Ria Lockhart has demanded PRIME management replace her car after the events of ReVival 32. As it turns out, Matt Mills never picked up her keys, walking off grumbling instead. Footage shows Ria returning to get the keys, so it’s unclear why exactly she thinks she’s entitled to a new car anyway.

 

• • As expected, the Glue Man Group were not at ReVival 32, as they were preparing to face the DESTROY IT ALL pair of “Grim Face” Ichiro Kuwayama and EIJI later that night in a match that went to a time limit draw. The pair are expected to be at ReVival 33, though it remains to be seen how much hardware they’ll be carrying.

The pair are expected to defend their Bang! With Your Partner championships on August 8th, and Joe Fontaine himself captured the Bang! All Day Championship during A Block action against the Kazuyagumi on July 22nd.

 

• • After the closing moments of ReVival 32, multiple backstage sources have confirmed that Cecilworth Farthington sprinted directly out of The Glueminati’s locker room in the direction of Lindsay Troy’s office. At the exact same time, Lindsay Troy rushed out of her office in the direction of Cecilworth Farthington’s locker room.

Thankfully, a mid-corridor collision was avoided by both parties managing to slow down enough to avoid the “Great Corridor Bonk of 2023”

Most witnesses to the conversation state that both Farthington and Troy just yelled “DID YOU KNOW?” at each other, then broke away into a side room for a much more hushed conversation.

 

• • Fan-favorite Doug, famous for his shock-collaring of Richard Parker at ReVival 31, says he lost that implement. He stated to the news desk that he went back to look in his bag for it sometime during ReVival 32, but that it was gone. The shock collar that Paxton Ray tried to place on The Anglo Luchador at the end of ReVival 32 was not confirmed to be the same implement, but rumors are swirling that that collar is also unaccounted for. No one has confirmed any shock collar information, but we will be keeping a close eye on the situation, especially for Richard Parker’s sake.

 

• • Abe is very sad.

 

• • Ivan Stanislav and Alexei Ruslan arrived early to the Baltimore Arena, prior to ReVival 32. Together, they promptly walked to the makeshift office of Lisa Tyler and entered for no more than five minutes.

When the two exited, both Russians faces were as red as their army, and Ruslan could be heard saying something akin to “capitalist devil woman…”

The two then stomped, angrily, to the opposite side of the building.

 

• • It’s believed that the rib injury Coral Avalon has been dealing with since his match with Sage Pontiff at ReVival 29 is more serious than first thought. Following medical checkups after his loss to Chandler Tsonda, it was announced that he will not be cleared for competition as a precaution for his health.

Avalon is still expected to make appearances for the company, however, and remains advertised to appear in Pittsburgh for ReVival 33. In addition, he still remains scheduled for his yearly appearance in the Flynn Cup.

 

• • Eddie Cross is indeed visiting the Gates of Avalon school and has been spotted working with Gavin.

Prior to visiting Troy Combat Systems, Eddie had been noted as traveling a bit and learning some new styles. But that was due to his choice of leaving Dave Gibson. This journey seems to be one of personal growth.

What does Gavin have to teach Eddie? Where will he end up next? Time will tell.

 

• • As of the release of this digest, no period of more than three (3) hours has elapsed without Chandler Tsonda sending at least one meme to Coral Avalon. We are told the pipeline of internet humor between the two is “incredibly strong.” Even in spite of Doppeltsonda’s interference in Avalon v. Tsonda, which soured an otherwise near-classic, the communication remains friendly, and very heavy on GIFs. Further bulletins as events warrant.

 

• • In another update on Coral Avalon, he was still receiving messages from Chandler Tsonda as late as 10AM the next morning. He was quoted as saying, “No way did he do all of those himself. Those are his assistants.”

He has already considered having his lunch lawyer send a counter-salvo of his own meme images. Chandler should expect many kitties in his future.

 

• • Paxton Ray and Foster Nackedy were fined an undisclosed amount for their attack on The Anglo Luchador and Brandon Youngblood in the main event of ReVival 32. The fine was not necessarily for the attack, but for using non-PRIME staff members in the ring. The Gray’s students in question — Quinn Fleetwood, Satan Jones, and El Cocodrilo, are banned from future PRIME events, and more punishment may be coming for Ray and Nackedy. More on this as it develops.

 

• • In related news, former PRIME and DEFIANCE star Jason Natas is considering legal action against Satan Jones for infringing on his name trademark.

This is probably not a real thing, and instead is a joke for three people.

 

• • FROM THE ANIMAL CONTROL FILES: A request to have a rattlesnake appear alongside The Anglo Luchador at ReVival 33 was emphatically denied by PRIME offices. In fact, the rejection came all the way from the top, as Lindsay Troy’s signature was seen on the rejection slip with an addendum reading, “if you bring the snake, Tom, then I’m making Jason Snow a new pair of boots.” When asked why he wanted to bring a rattlesnake to live television, the Luchador replied, “What’s the harm in letting La Llorona [the name of the rattlesnake] meet with some members of the PRIME roster?” He then added, “I have other ways of getting payback. Yes, this is totally an innocent statement that no one can at all read into.” He said this while twirling an imaginary moustache. I’m starting to think he’s up to no good.