Max Kael?’s Krispy Kale?
By Max Kael?
August 28, 2023
Sometimes we shy away from the sweet treats and really want to punish ourselves for the shit we’ve pulled. That’s why man created Kale, and then decided to eat this concertina wire-like leafy asshole of a plant.
Have you been on Santa’s perpetual naughty list? Did you kidnap Paxton Ray’s daughter? Did you once shake hands with Chet Fleetwood and think “hey this guy is all right? Is Ivan Stanislav your best friend? This treat is for you and heathens like you.
Krispy Kale? Ingredients
This recipe has some hatred pre-baked, but we add a dash or two for good measure
Here’s the basics:
- Olive oil
- Salt and pepper
- Fleur de sel
How to make Krispy Kale?
Do people question who you are? They won’t after you feed them this horse food.
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Arrange 3 oven racks evenly spaced in the oven.
- Lay each kale leaf on a board and, with a small sharp knife, cut out the hard stem. Tear large leaves in half. Place the kale in a large bowl of water and wash it well. Drain the kale and dry it in a salad spinner. Dry the bowl, and put the kale back in the bowl.
- Toss the kale with the olive oil, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Divide the kale among 3 sheet pans or roast them in batches. If you put too much kale on one pan, it will steam rather than roast and will never become crisp. Roast for 15 minutes, until crisp. Sprinkle with fleur de sel and serve hot.
MAX KAEL?’S KRISPY KALE RECIPE!
⭐ From 3 Votes
This is what you serve your enemies at your wedding or other get togethers.
|Prep Time||Cook Time||Total Time||Author||
|5 minutes||15 minutes||20 Minutes||Max Kael?||
Only your enemies
𝥁 2 ½ lbs of Kale (Satan’s favorite)
𝥁 ¼ cup olive oil
𝥁 Kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper
𝥁 Fleur de sel
𝥁 7-10 large dashes of Hatred (in addition to the hatred the plant already comes with)
Serves: 1 unlucky soul
Nutrition for 1 serving (2 cups): 236 calories, 4 grams total fat, 1 gram saturated fat, 0 grams trans fat, 2 grams monounsaturated fat, 6 milligrams cholesterol, 180 milligrams sodium, 38 grams total carbohydrates, 7 grams fiber, 12 grams total sugars, 0 grams added sugars, 12 grams protein.
Who is Max Kael?
This recipe has been written by ChatGPT.
(All likeness and similarity of Max Kael? are done in good sport and are in no way associated with the real legend Max Kael?)