- The Event Horizon, Hayes Hanlon, shocked the world at the finish of UltraViolence: Night One’s Main Event. In a betrayal from way out in left field, the former Universal Champion turned on his friend and partner, Jared Sykes, by hitting him with the Flash Point at match end, allowing Cecilworth Farthington and FLAMBERGE to secure the victory, and seemingly joining the ranks of the Glueminati.
As he left the arena, we chased Hayes down for comment on his display of betrayal, and what this means for his future in PRIME.
“You saw what you saw. You tell me.”
Opening the door to his rental car, he offered one more thought before driving away.
“But I’d say it’s looking pretty Glue-y.”
- After the shocking conclusion of the main event of UltraViolence: Night One, referee Jimmy Turnbull was asked why he counted the pin against Jared Sykes despite the fact he wasn’t the legal man at the time.
“It was the heat of the moment, I couldn’t believe what just happened,” Turnbull said, “So I… counted. All there is to it.”
PRIME officials stand by their referee’s decision.
- A motion to start the entrances for Coral Avalon and Cancer Jiles’ eGG Bandit Lumberjack Match on Night One was swiftly denied.
- Pre-taped segments are a funny thing, dear reader.
When someone tapes a segment ahead of time, even before a LIVE pay-per-view event like UltraViolence Night One, the person taping said segment is often not privy to information that comes out between the taping and the airing.
Such is the case here, as Kenny Freeman received word at Moscowverse HQ that he will be facing Darin Zion in the first round of the Almasy Invitational.
It’s been reported that Kenny laughed, and laughed, until he began to cry. Why? Because, in the words of Kenny “Simple As 1-2-3” Freeman, “I know what I must do at ReVival 36, for the good of the Moscowverse and the Red Army!”
He was then informed that the match would take place at ReVival 37, to which Randall Schwartz was heard shouting in response, “in a row?”
- As of press time, The Anglo Luchador is still at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. After night one of UltraViolence, he was checked in there after his brutal No Holds Barred match with Paxton Ray, where he was treated for various injuries suffered during the match, including blood loss and damage left by the shock collar. Against doctor’s orders, he insisted on leaving to make it back for UltraViolence night two, where he was drugged and beaten by the new stable, KING. Cumulative effects of beatings from both nights have left him in the hospital for prolonged observation. We cannot report on the extent of his injuries, but doctors and PRIME officials have confirmed that he is not in concussion protocol.
The Anglo Luchador is scheduled for a first round match in the Seymour Almasy Tournament at ReVival 37 against Cecilworth Farthington, the current Five Star Champion. PRIME officials have not commented on the possibility of him missing the show, but they are confident that he will be good enough for the match, which happens virtually in a month’s time. Doctors are optimistic that his injuries will clear up by then, but they are still concerned at the amount of damage his body took on consecutive nights.
- A lot can happen in one night, dear reader.
After the first night of UltraViolence 2023, Kenny Freeman felt like he was on top of the world, ready to handle the full brunt of the Almasy Invitational and go on to face the Universal Champion at Culture Shock 2024.
However, just moments after the main event of UltraViolence Night Two, Kenny Freeman could be seen crying in the corner of Moscowverse HQ, because he knows exactly what winning the Almasy Invitational would mean…that the junior member of the Red Army could potentially face his very leader.
His fearless leader.
And it makes Kenny the big sad. #Pray4Kenny
- Carlos de Leon is in stable condition at Saint Anthony Hospital. The exact nature of the injuries he suffered from the assault are as yet unknown, but the prognosis is good, and there appears little doubt he can recover in time for ReVival 36.
- Cecilworth Farthington was out and about in Chicago; sadly due to the ear defenders, he didn’t hear the local reporter’s questions too clearly but did make out a question on if he knew about Hayes Hanlon’s planned actions ahead of time. Farthington paused for a second before concluding, “I know lots of things about tons of stuff.” Then he walked off, accidentally slamming his hip into a nearby lamppost due to too sudden a turn.
- Despite the best efforts of three of the four members of the Crownless Kingdom of Japan (Claire Merci was too interested in bourbon to help), the Jimmy Bonafide Dancers, the Troy Boys, the Enemigos (except XIV, the cad), local Chicago-area authorities, and the suspicious eyepatch salesman loitering around Mark Twain Park, no one has been able to find Coral Avalon after the unusual events surrounding the conclusion of his match with Cancer Jiles.
Powerslam Anubis was quoted as saying, “For a two-dimensional being made out of cardboard, the great Powerslam Anubis has determined through his keen judgement that Cardboard Dan Ryan is in fact far stronger than his three-dimensional flesh and blood counterpart.”
On a completely unrelated note, no one has asked any questions whatsoever about the conspicuous and suspicious aircraft carrier that docked in Chicago on the night of UltraViolence: Night Two. Or why it suddenly vanished by the morning.
- During Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Heartland Pay-Per-View event, John Sektor viciously attacked Adam Ellis and sent him to the hospital. With the help of Victoria McGill, Sektor – a wrestler from HOW (also known as ‘The Other Place’), rendered Ellis unconscious on the floor with the Sektor Stretch. Prior to marrying Ginny Van Lear, Adam had been romantically linked with Tori who knocked Ginny out with a Gutwrench Facebuster. However, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson and the Alabama Gang intervened and ran Sektor off, with Bill delivering a Southern Fried Powerbomb to Tori in the process. Both Ginny and McGill also were transported to the hospital after the attack.
- After a delightful evening of eating with all of his Glueperfriends, Joe Fontaine left a scathing review of Butcher Victorious on Yelp.
- Eddie Cross was visited by one of the many local eyepatch guys in Chicago due to extreme damage to his eyelid and having his eyeball popped out of the socket during his stretcher/submission match against Dave Gibson.
When asked about the abundance of “eyepatch guys” in Chicago, Eddie simply said, “I dunno, maybe Jon Rhine had a big demographic here?”
- RUMOR KILLER: FLAMBERGE’s rumored flight to Strasbourg today is an inaccurate report. He, in fact, flew out early yesterday morning. He started the rumor of a Monday flight to dodge potential looky-loos.
PRIME officials have confirmed that the contracted talent has been granted a personal leave, with the stipulation that any time spent away will be tacked onto the end of FLAMBERGE’s current contract. No timetable has been given for his return and no details about the nature of his personal leave have been provided, though officials expect the leave of absence to extend through multiple ReVivals at least and the latest rumor involves his mother, Julia Lavigne.
- We can confirm that on Saturday morning, Jared Sykes reached out to the PRIME promotions department to verify whether he had any outstanding commitments surrounding UltraViolence. When told that he had fulfilled his obligations around the show, we’re told that Sykes and his partner Justine Calvin checked out of their hotel and flew home to Boston.
This course of events, which marks the first time since the re-opening of PRIME that Sykes has missed a show, comes on the heels of Friday night’s betrayal by Hayes Hanlon.
Sykes is currently scheduled to compete against Logan James in the first round of the 2023 Almasy Memorial Tournament at ReVival 36 in St. Louis, Missouri on October 6.
- Boy howdy, ol’ Daytona Diamonds sure did get himself into a briar patch, now didn’t he? After moseyin’ into the high falutin’ town of Chicago with nothin’ more than a dream and a set of old mattresses, the Rhinestone Cowboy managed to get himself arrested and tossed in the Chicago PD’s finest motel for a one-night stay.
While leaving the following morning, still covered in blood and clearly in a terrible mood, Daytona had this to say: “The whole god dang city of Chicago could get bit in the leg by a rattlesnake and I ain’t sheddin’ a single tear. Listen, I thought I’d been to every shithole from Tennessee to Timbuktu, but this city? By God, this place takes the god dang cake. Even Reno ain’t this bad and that’s where my dang ol’ ex-wife lives!”
When asked about his standing with PRIME after his unsanctioned event at UltraViolence 2023, Daytona had this to say: “Shit, what’re they gonna do? Fine me again? You know what, go on and do it. You tell Miss Troy to do as she fuckin’ pleases. Fine my whole dang paycheck. It ain’t gonna change jack fuckin’ shit. We got a tourney comin’ up, don’t we? I reckon I’m just gonna have to win the whole dang thing and nail the point on home: I’m the future, baby. I’m what the people wanna see when they turn on their TVs. I’m what’s best for business and ain’t no one gonna change that, includin’ Lindsay Troy.”
When Daytona was told his first match in the Almasy Invitational would be against Lindsay Troy’s son, Kaz Troy, Daytona reportedly went wide eyed, balled his hands into fists, and nearly got re-arrested by punching a cop car that was parked outside the station.
He was only allowed to go free after agreeing to donate the money he earned from UltraDiamonds 2023 to the Chicago Police Officer’s Ball.
- When told that Daytona Diamonds gave her permission to “do as she fuckin’ pleases,” Lindsay Troy took a sip of coffee out of her vintage Big Damn Heroes coffee mug, smiled, and said, “Okay.”
She then fined Mr. Diamonds his ReVival 36 payout for his UltraVIOLENCE 2023 parking lot stunt.
- Speaking of the Heir to the Throne, press rooms were abuzz this weekend when it was revealed that the Queen’s son, Kazuhiro Troy, would be participating in this year’s Almasy Invitational. The second generation wrestler, curiously, did not sign on with PRIME when the promotion reopened its doors last January, instead choosing to ply his trade elsewhere, including in DEFIANCE’s sister promotion, BRAZEN, where he is their current world champion.
Kaz was in attendance at UltraViolence but refused to answer any questions from reporters. Whether answers will be forthcoming from the young superstar remains to be seen. Regardless, he’ll have a tough road through the tournament beginning with Daytona Diamonds on ReVival 37 and, should he win, the winner of Anna Daniels versus the new Alias Champion Chandler Tsonda on ReVival 38.
- There is a great deal of scuttlebutt, hullabaloo, and balderdash at Tsuperstar Enterprises as the full weaponry of Chandler Tsonda’s corporate arm begins calculations on the future identity of the Alias Title. Most recently known as The Gamble Championship, the Alias Title is now around the waist of a man known mostly for a silver tongue and a bad attitude used (mostly) for good. What type of personality will he imbue into the belt that he and Tony Gamble had another tooth-and-nail battle for at UltraViolence?
None of the Tsuperstar interns who spoke to us for this story were sure where this would land come ReV 36. A PRIME cruiserweight title? Gold that can only be won by winning a complicated runway walk-off? A complicated stipulation about how good your hair has to look before you can be declared #1 contender? All were put on the table in early brainstorming sessions, but Tsonda has yet to make a decision. But knowing that superstars like Karina Wolfenden, the aforementioned Gamble, and Tsonda’s own former A-List stablemate The Illustrious Face-Eater have held the belt, the Model Citizen is said to respect its tradition, and is putting in work to make sure that its next face is worthy of the Alias lineage.
- Following his Universal Championship loss to Ivan Stanislav, the status of Brandon Youngblood as of this time is unknown. Coming in to the bout with a left shoulder injury, it appears that, in the closing moments of the contest, The Tower of Babel’s arm gave out, with Soldier Field attendees and close microphones hearing what sounds like a snap following a belly to back suplex. Rumors going into the bout were that Youngblood had suffered another significant injury to the same arm before the contest, but nothing of this nature has been confirmed. Of note also is the state of Youngblood’s face, which contained multiple abrasions and scars which were noticeable before the match even took place.
It appeared that Youngblood had the match with Stanislav well in hand before this snap occurred, and it was clear that lacked function in his left arm after the fact. Medical attendees tended to Youngblood after the contest after Ivan Stanislav left the ringside area, and while in much visible pain, the Chicago crowd gave the now former Champion a standing ovation for his efforts, which was acknowledged in kind. Another note worth mentioning is that Youngblood was not on hand for press events after UltraViolence, but did speak with us before disappearing for further medical attention.
“Better fighter won on this night. The arm, it ain’t an excuse. I don’t have to like Ivan. Way I hear people talk, like he’s a God Machine or something, fuck out of here with that. That’s marketing bullshit. He executed and was able to capitalize. I don’t have to like him. I don’t have to fear him. He ran my family through bullshit, but I ran his family through it before. Him and his army family. So I’m not going to act all innocent now and all that. I don’t have to like any of that shit…but as a fighter, I respect him. When he needed to go for the kill, he went for it, no second thoughts. He needed his best to put me down tonight. He knows that. I know that. Just like I needed my best to put him down. And hopefully, the next time, I’ll be able to give him just that.”
When asked about his future, Youngblood made his thoughts clear. “I signed a ‘lifetime’ contract. I’m not going anywhere.”
- While Ivan Stanislav may have walked out of the UltraViolence Main Event under his own power, it was clear that The Russian Bear had weathered a mauling from Brandon Youngblood. Stanislav was bleeding heavily from his mouth and from several wounds on his head, which will certainly require stitches. Stanislav was also favoring his right knee, which had been under great pressure from a Youngblood kneebar.
Despite blood pouring from his mouth onto his shirt, Stanislav stated that, “nothing Brandon Youngblood could muster required immediate attention. I fought on his terms. Your diamond cracked and left on stretcher. DYAAHAAHAA!!”
Stanislav then laughed uproariously and hoisted the Universal Title over his head, and further made a show of trying to put the belt around his waist, which was too large for the straps, stating, “See how thin Brandon Youngblood is!”
Before finally leaving Soldier Field, Alexei Ruslan stated that several celebratory activities were awaiting the Russians at home, and that the “Red Era” had begun in PRIME.