6 Ria Nightshade vs. 11 Cyrus O’Haire
“Welcome to the Strange.”
The warped wailings of The Murderdolls sound throughout the MGM Grand as a strange, punk-rocky introduction to the evening. The camera soars throughout the electric crowd, eventually leading to the entrance where the “Hardcore Harlot,” Ria Nightshade stands, arms out wide with a vicious grin as she struts down the ramp, a lightshow of toxic green and dull yellow whirling about the arena.
Nick Stewart: WELCOME IN, ONE AND ALL!!! We’re BACK at the MGM Grand Casino in Las Vegas for PRIME’s second installment of ReVival! I’m Nick Stuart, alongside Richard Parker, and tonight we finish off the first round of the Almasy Invitational Tournament with the Lisieux bracket, named after PRIME Hall of Famer, “The Eternal Sunrise,” Ignatius Lisieux! And Richard, if that doesn’t bring back memories, I don’t know what does!
Richard Parker: You said it, partner! Global Champion, Intense Champion, Tag Champion, 2004 Wrestler of the Year, and most importantly, the Destroyer of the Global Title Curse, when he retained the title against Joey Troy at ReVolution 29!
Nick Stuart: We honor the past, but we’re here in the present at ReVival, and we’re kicking things off with a physical mis-match for the ages with Ria Nightshade facing off against Cyrus O’Haire!
The “Trans Terror” slides under the ropes, twirling in the ring, sticking her tongue out in creepy, taunting fashion.
Vince Howard: Welcome to ReViiiiivaaallll!!! Our opening match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from The Paraphernalia Wagon, standing five feet, six inches tall and weighing in at one-hundred and sixty pounds, she is the Toxic Queen…RIA! NIGHTSHADE!
”So step right up for the ride of your life!
The line starts here, in the back of my mind!”
Nick Stuart: One of PRIME’s more…unpleasant characters, Ria brings a toxicity to the roster that makes most opponents think twice.
Richard Parker: That’s one way to put it. Did you see her MGM promo? Gives me goosebumps!
Nick Stuart: Speaking of unpleasant characters…
The drumbeat from Orgy takes over the speakers as the big frame of Cyrus O’Haire emerges, marching quickly toward the ring with his right leg taped heavily.
Vince Howard: And her opponent! From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, standing six feet, seven inches tall and weighing in at two-hundred and sixty-five pounds, The Vyrus…CYRUS! O’HAIRE!”
”Tell me how, does it feel?
To treat me like you do?”
Nick Stuart: The big man from Iowa joins PRIME with a chip on his shoulder, a company that’s given him a shot after a ten year hiatus.
Richard Parker: And he was sooo quick to show his appreciation last week, Nick! The guy is lucky we decided to give a forty-four year old with a gimp leg a spot on in the tournament!
The Hardcore Messiah pops to his feet after sliding under the ropes, throwing a hand in the air and bellowing into the camera. Ria grins in her corner while Cyrus seethes, eventually walking back into his own.
O’Haire takes a few steps forward, only for Nightshade to slide along the ropes and away. Cyrus breathes hard through his nose, turning and lunging once again, but Ria side-shuffles away.
Nick Stuart: Ria already keeping her distance from The Vyrus.
Richard Parker: Can you blame her? Cyrus has a foot and hundred pounds on her!
A third attempt from O’Haire forces the Hardcore Harlot to drop to the mat and slide out of the ring. The boos rise inside the MGM Grand as Ria struts, wagging a finger at the frustrated O’Haire. Referee Ashley Barlow starts the count for Ria, but The Vyrus clambers through the ropes and to the outside to give chase.
Nick Stuart: Nightshade better keep out of his reach if she’s going to poke the bear!
Richard Parker: He’s got a bum leg, I don’t think that will be much of a problem.
O’Haire rounds the corner, Ria out of reach. She sprints forward, jumping onto the steel steps, and turning to meet the charging O’Haire with two boots to the chest, putting the big man on his back. She tilts her head back for a laugh, stepping back into the ring while Barlow starts counting him out.
Richard Parker: She’s already toying with him!
Cyrus isn’t down for long, sliding back into the ring and popping up, running at Ria and swinging with a big lariat. The Toxic Queen counters by charging in kind, baseball sliding between his legs and connecting with a quick low-blow, doubling him over and capitalizing by driving him to the floor with a reverse DDT.
Richard Parker: Ria with the nutmeg! That’s what they call it in soccer, Nick. You know? When they kick the ball between their legs?
Nick Stuart: I’m aware. Did you play, Richard?
Richard Parker: Never once. Soccer’s literally the worst sport on earth. Oh look, Ria with the pin!
The Vyrus uses his strength to throw Ria off of his chest like an explosive bench press, The Trans Terror falling onto her stomach next to him. Taking advantage, he rolls to a knee and grabs a fistful of hair. Ria thrashes to escape as they stand, but is met with a heavy scoop slam.
Nick Stuart: O’Haire on the offensive! Ria won’t be able to take too many hits like that from the big man!
Richard Parker: Something tells me she kinda likes it.
O’Haire drops back to a knee, gripping her hair once again and delivering a few stiff punches. He rips her back to her feet, whipping her into the corner and following up with a running shoulder to her midsection. The air escapes her lungs as Cyrus grips the ropes, driving his shoulder into her four more times. He relents, stepping back as she stumbles forward. He whips her into the ropes and drops her with a big boot on the return, scowling as he goes for the pin.
Nick Stuart: Big boot from The Vyrus! Here’s the cover!
Cyrus glares at Ashley Barlow, who shows him two fingers.. He stands, back-stepping into a corner and resting his hands on his knees, staring The Hardcore Harlot down while she stirs. He stands ready to lunge…
…until his face turns blank for a moment.
Richard Parker: What’s up with O’Haire?
Cyrus shakes his head, then slaps himself across the cheek, followed by a palm to the temple.
Richard Parker: Is he going crazy? It looks like he’s going crazy.
Nick Stuart: I’m not sure. There’s clearly something going on inside his head, but he’d better snap out of it! Nightshade is on her feet!
The Trans Terror, indeed, has made it to a standing position, curious as she watches Cyrus grip his skull. Seeing the opportunity, she jumps back into the ropes, runs toward The Vyrus, and dropkicks him in the thigh of his taped-leg. He roars in pain as he drops to a knee while Ria bounces off the ropes behind him, leaping and driving his head to the mat with a vicious bulldog.
Nick Richard: The Toxic Queen taking advantage!
The Hardcore Messiah rolls onto his back, clutching his head from the bulldog, and the apparent demons inside it. The adrenaline-driven Nightshade wildly throws her hair back before mounting the downed him, reaching a menacing hand over his face and striking like a viper, her palm over his eyes while she digs her long nails into his temples.
Nick Stuart: Devil’s Kiss from Ria Nightshade! She’s taken over this match!
Richard Parker: Who wrestles with nails like that?
O’Haire bellows in pain, blood trickling from Ria’s knife-like fingernails. She relents, leaving him on the mat and ascending a turnbuckle, finding balance at the top.
Nick Stuart: Ria going up! She’s looking for the Acid Rain!
She leaps into the air, tucking and extending for the splash…
…and lands chest-first onto the bottom of O’Haire’s boot.
Nick Stuart: AND CYRUS GETS THE FOOT UP!
Ria flops onto her back, completely drained of air. The furious O’Haire clambers to his feet, clumsily pulling her off the mat and shoving her head between his legs. He lifts her skyward, then spikes her into the mat with a vicious jackknife powerbomb.
Nick Stuart: THE INJECTION FROM O’HAIRE! He’s looking to finish it!
Richard Parker: She’s pan-caked!
Ria is down for the count. But instead of going for the pin…
…Cyrus drags her off the mat and sets her up again.
Nick Stuart: Oh c’mon, what is this guy doing?
Richard Parker: For Hoyt’s sake, she’s half his size!
The “boos” rain down heavy in the MGM Grand as The Vyrus scowls out at the crowd. As expected, he lifts her overhead again, and crushes her with a second jackknife powerbomb.
Nick Stuart: Enough’s enough!
O’Haire drops down slowly for the menacing cover, and Barlow counts.
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winner, moving on to round two of the Lisieux bracket…The Vyrus….CYRUS O’HAIRE!
Nick Stuart: Ria Nightshade did everything she could to wear this monster down, but was outmatched by O’Haire’s strength and power, not to mention a low-brow finish.
Richard Parker: I don’t know what this dude’s deal is, Nick. I’m all for locking in the win, but that was just overkill.
Cyrus rolls Ria outside of the ring and stands up, the continued “boos” of the crowd filling the MGM Grand. He walks over to a roadie outside of the ring and barks for something, resulting in the roadie handing him a microphone. Cyrus, drenched in sweat and obviously gassed, walks back to the center of the ring.
Nick Stuart: Let’s see what this guy has to say after brutalizing The Toxic Queen!
Cyrus O’Haire: I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
Cyrus has to take a deep breath.
Cyrus O’Haire: Later tonight, Eryk Van Warren and Teddy Palmer face off to see who gets to step into the ring against ME at ReVival 3.
He takes another breath.
Cyrus O’Haire: I’ll be watching that match very closely. I’ve got one win under my belt here in PRIME. I want more.
Cyrus heaves deeply a third time, looking out at the PRIMEates. He walks in a circle, eyeing the fans in the arena. Turning back to the camera, he brings the microphone to his mouth.
Cyrus O’Haire: Nobody’s laughing now.
The Vyrus drops the microphone to the mat with a loud “THUD” and then walks to the ropes. He steps over the top rope and hops to the floor.
Nick Stuart: What does he mean, “Nobody’s laughing now”?
Richard Parker: Why don’t you go and ask him? He seems like a nice guy.
Nick Stuart: Stay tuned! Shawn Warstein takes on John Kennedy Royko Jr. next, and later on tonight in our main event, the blockbuster return of Nova as he faces off against Jacob Mephisto! Here, on the ACE Network!
“Blue Monday” drones through the arena while Cyrus O’Haire skulks up the ramp to a chorus of “boos.”