7 Solomon Richards vs. 10 Rezin
Nick Stuart: Well folks, up next we’ve got a major contrast in styles. We’ve got Solomon Richards, a technical expert, set to clash with Rezin who, well, is less than technical.
Richard Parker: He’s punk rock, Nick! Rezin is a guy who’s gonna get things done in the most punk rock way possible.
Nick Stuart: Do you even know what punk rock is?
Brutal thrash metal rips through the arena as a wall of smoke coalesces around the entry-way. On the PRIMEView, footage flashes between images of atomic mushroom clouds, scenes of civil unrest, vehicular collisions, and in-ring highlights.
Richard Parker: We’re about to find out!
Suddenly, “The Escape Artist” REZIN comes whirling out from the haze and comes to a stop at the head of the ramp, grinning maniacally as he scans the jeering crowd. After a beat, he makes his way down the ramp, devilishly toying with the fans lined up at the barricade and getting radioactive levels of heat.
Vince Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Indianapolis, Indiana and weighing in at two hundred and five pounds… RRRRREEEEZZZIIIIIN!!
When he reaches the ring, he slides in, pops to his feet, locks his arms between the ropes, and leans back to suspend himself in the air in an inverted cross pose for a few moments before lowering himself back to the canvas and going to his corner.
Nick Stuart: This guy’s off his rocker, folks. But, we’re about to get our first look at his opponent tonight!
Lucero’s “Sing Me No Hymns” begins to play throughout the arena and Solomon Richards steps out of the entrance. He barely stops to acknowledge the crowd before making his way towards the ring, his eyes never leaving his opponent.
Nick Stuart: Here’s a guy who is just no nonsense about what he wants.
Richard Parker: Yea, but he’s gonna have to get into the ring against Rezin, who’s a real wild card. I don’t think his technical prowess is gonna come into play too much in this one.
Solomon continues his steady march to the ring, touching hands briefly with just a few fans who recognize him from his early days in Las Vegas.
Vince Howard: And his opponent, from Kermit, West Virginia, weighing three hundred and thirty pounds… SOLOMON RIIIIIICHAAARRRRDS!!
Solomon steps into the ring and immediately goes to a neutral corner, but Rezin is on him right away!
Richard Parker: Here we go!
DING DING
Rezin continues his initial rush, throwing wild punch and kick combinations, backing Solomon into the corner further! Referee Elvis Nixon is right there, admonishing Rezin to get Solomon out of the corner, but “The Escape Artist” doesn’t take heed. That is, until Solomon throws a heavy headbutt right into the bridge of his nose and staggers Rezin backwards!
Solomon moves out of the corner, shaking the cobwebs out and snatches Rezin, bringing him up for a belly to belly suplex, but Rezin rakes the eyes, breaking the hold! Nixon admonishes Rezin again, but “The Goat Bastard” seems to have gone temporarily deaf to his warnings. He throws a crisp kick to the midsection of Solomon before grabbing a front facelock and running up the turnbuckles, twisting in the air, and spiking Solomon down with a tornado DDT!
Richard Parker: I told you! Rezin is too fast and too crafty for the big man!
Nick Stuart: You call it crafty, I call it cheap. He attacked before the bell and used an eye gouge to gain an advantage!
Richard Parker: Whatever gets the job done, Nick!
Rezin runs his forearm across Solomon’s face as he covers with a lateral press!
ONE
T- NO! Not even close!
Rezin pops back up, stomping down on Solomon for good measure before hitting the far ropes and sliding in with a basement dropkick to Solomon’s ribs just as the big man is pushing himself back up. Solomon rolls over clutching his ribs as the fans rain down boos on Rezin. Pulls Solomon to his feet and attempts to Irish whip the big man to the ropes, but Solomon puts on the brakes, yanks Rezin in, and takes him up and over with a big belly to belly suplex!
Rezin quickly arches his back in pain and rolls around on the canvas. Solomon moves forward methodically and snags Rezin before he can escape the ring, bringing him to his feet and delivering a very audible knife edge chop, immediately reddening Rezin’s chest with the impact.
OOOOOOOH!
Rezin grabs at his chest, his face contorted in overexaggerated pain. Solomon moves in and snags an arm, quicker on his feet than he looks, and forces Rezin to the mat while locking in a fujiwara armbar!
Nick Stuart: Richards has that armbar locked in! He’s looking to end it early!
Richard Parker: No way! It’s way too early! Rezin’s smarter than he looks, Nick! See?
Rezin immediately scrambles around, all other limbs flailing until he’s able to hook both feet onto the bottom rope. Referee Elvis Nixon sees this and calls for a break, which Solomon immediately complies with. Solomon pops up and goes to grab Rezin, who ducks into the ropes. The referee gets between them and Solomon protests, lunging forward to grab hold of Rezin, but Rezin palms Solomon’s face and rakes his eyes again!
Solomon stumbles backwards and Rezin rushes in, stepping up and clocking Solomon with a swift and nasty enziguri! Rezin wastes no more time and rushes to the ropes, leaps up, springboards and enters into a moonsault!
Richard Parker: REZINSAULT!
Nick Stuart: NO! Richards counters!
Solomon catches Rezin mid-air and drives him down into the mat with a thunderous powerslam! He rolls over, pushing himself back up and stomps down onto Rezin before turning him over and locking in a camel clutch! Rezin’s face comes alive with pain as the much bigger Solomon Richards cranks back!
Elvis Nixon is right there asking if Rezin wants to give in, but he gives the referee a few choice words even through the agony. Rezin tries to crawl forward, but Solomon’s weight is too much to drag. Instead, “The Escape Artist” gets his arms free and just starts gouging at the backs of Solomon’s calves, digging his fingers into the skin and ripping away!
Nick Stuart: Of all the despicable ways to counter a move…
Richard Parker: They don’t call him “The Escape Artist” for nothing!
Solomon releases the hold, kicking at Rezin as he rolls away. He gets back up to his feet, but Rezin hits the ropes and comes back with a spinning heel kick out of nowhere!
Richard Parker: Cloven Hoof Kick! Richards is down! Rezin covers!
ONE
TWO
NO!
Solomon kicks out before the three count! Rezin mounts Richards and fires in a series of punches to the forehead before dragging the bigger man back to his feet. Rezin measures Solomon.
Nick Stuart: Looks like Rezin is setting up for Into the Void!
Rezin begins the motions to execute his asai ddt, but Solomon counters and snatches Rezin up and drives him back down with a back suplex! Solomon bridges for the pin attempt!
ONE
TWO
THR-NO! WHAT THE!?
Nick Stuart: What a cheap way to escape a pin! He grabbed Elvis Nixon’s arm on its way down!
Richard Parker: Hey the hand never came down for the three! Whatever works!
Elvis Nixon is right up in Rezin’s face admonishing him. Rezin brushes him off and a seething Solomon Richards stalks forward and snatches Rezin, bringing him in for another belly to belly suplex attempt. This time, Rezin fires a headbutt into the bridge of Solomon’s nose and fishhooks him for good measure. Solomon breaks the grip again but snatches Rezin right back and brings him over with the belly to belly! Solomon covers!
ONE
TWO
THR-NO
Rezin gets the shoulder up before the three! Solomon immediately pulls Rezin to his feet and begins to lock in a cobra clutch!
Nick Stuart: Here it comes! He’s looking for the Divine Smite!
The referee is slightly out of position, so he doesn’t catch Rezin’s boot as it swings back and connects with Solomon’s divine marbles. Rezin leans back into Solomon to prevent the big man from doubling over and uses the momentum to roll him up!
Nick Stuart: Come on, Elvis! How could you miss that!?
ONE
TWO
Nick Stuart: He’s got the tights!!
THREE!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Here is your winner, REEEEEZIIIIN!
Rezin rolls away and scampers out of the ring backing up the aisle with a smile on his face as the crowd unleashes a flurry of boos.
Nick Stuart: This was a travesty of justice here! Rezin stole one!
Richard Parker: Elvis Nixon didn’t see it, Nick! Rezin did what was necessary to pick up the win. And that, my friend, is punk rock!