A CRACKING RETRACTION
Event: ReVival 27
Event Date: 05/05/2023
A CRACKING RETRACTION
The scene switches to a backstage location likely a few feet outside of gorilla as Vickie Hall, no surprise, has commandeered a video camera. Behind her stands an extremely nervous Jonathan-Christopher Hall, a rather frustrated Darin Zion and a totally oblivious Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy.
Vickie is waaaayyy too close to the lens but she begins her rant with a frowny face.
Vickie Hall: Caner Jiles.
She states the name of Hall’s opponent with heavy emphasis before her frown turns even more downwards.
Vickie Hall: You claim you don’t know who Jonathan-Christopher is.
By now, Vickie’s face has almost engulfed the entire camera.
Nick Stuart: You’d think Vickie would understand camera positioning better…
Richard Parker: You said this last time. Shhhhh! She’s just excited!
Vickie’s massive nose is almost the only thing the broadcast picks up.
Vickie Hall: You say he’s a Day One guy but that’s it. Couldn’t give a fuck more.
There’s minor commotion from behind the camera, as if someone else has walked into the scene and taken it out of Vickie’s hands.
Nick Stuart: Thank god. Like Vickie or not, there’s no way Lindsay Troy is going to allow this kind of awful Mickey Mouse production on her broadcast.
Richard Parker: Just excitement, Nick. It’s true love, how can Vickie not be caught up in it?
Nick Stuart: Who ARE you!?
Richard Parker: Just a fan. Plus I’ll support anyone against Jiles.
Nick Stuart: Okay, that makes sense.
Vickie scoffs at the help but moves back a couple of feet. Her frustration, however, continues.
Vickie Hall: I am declaring A RETRACTION!
Enter maniacal laughter.
Vickie Hall: After MY FUCKING MAN is through with YOU Jiles, you’re going to know who he is and bow to his power!
She glances back at her Amazing Life Partner, he’s shaking in his boots. It’s not a figure of speech, either. He’s literally shaking in his wrestling boots. And it only grows more intense as Vickie keeps talking.
Vickie Hall: We are taking your main event spot, Mr. Jiles. You completed your journey and it was stupid.
Vickie leaps in the air, spins around and wraps her arms around a stunned Jonathan-Christopher. Don’t get JC wrong, he feels WAY more secure now that his woman is all over him but the initial shock of her leaping up almost made The Timid Tiger vomit.
Vickie keeps her eyes locked on the camera.
Vickie Hall: After Jonathan-Christopher’s victory, a major PRIME mark will be made. You’re ripe for the picking, Jiles.
Vickie Hall: MUHAHAHAHA!
Vickie Hall: And then the LOVE CONVOY won’t be bound to backstage segments! Hear me out, PRIME. After Jonathan-Christopher wins tonight I’ll have a MASSIVE announcement on ReVival 28, in the middle of the ring!
Vickie runs her hands through Jonathan-Christopher’s hair.
Vickie Hall: To think, all my man needed was a little tender love and care.
She continues to run her hands through his hair, while looking into his eyes.
Vickie Hall: He needed to be accepted and I needed to meet him where he was… not where I wanted him to be. Now that he has won a triple threat match, he’s been placed against one of PRIME’s top guys. Cancer Jiles will submit A RETRACTION after tonight. And we…
She brings her attention back to the camera.
Vickie Hall: Will continue our journey.
Vickie lets go of Jonathan-Christopher. She marches over to the front of the camera lens again and sticks her face STRAIGHT into it.
She proudly marches away.
Vickie Hall: [off-camera] Come along, Jonathan-Christopher! Leave the others behind for now. Our true celebration will be after your victory!
An uneasy Jonathan-Christopher looks over to Tristan-Crispin and the disgruntled Darin Zion. Zion mutters something that’s picked up by the camera.
Darin Zion: [off-mic] I thought it was about progress, not winning.
Jonathan-Christopher shakes his head no. It’s like he didn’t even grasp the comment.
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: [off-mic] My baby needs me.
JC runs away, hoping to catch his ALP. However, he slips on a stack of papers which were laying on the ground. Thinking nothing of it at the time, he picks up the papers and tosses them away before racing off again. The papers fly through the air, until Darin Zion catches them. Zion looks at what’s in his hands, as Tristan-Crispin leans over.
Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy: It’s… a comic book?
TCG seems puzzled (but nuzzles himself anyway) and Darin could’ve give a fuck so tosses the book to the side. The scene fades as we enter another area of the backstage area to see…