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Number One by Definition

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A MASTERFUL INFOMERCIAL

Event: ReVival 11

Event Date: 07/15/2022

A MASTERFUL INFOMERCIAL

A MASTERFUL INFOMERCIAL

We come back to ringside, only to be interrupted by a graphic appearing on the PRIMEview:

We cut to a television studio made out to look like some sort of kitchen, where we see the very team standing by, Kenny Freeman wearing a goofy chef’s outfit next to Randall Schwartz sporting a “FOODIE MAGICK” apron. Kenny’s got a big ol’ grin on his face as he begins to speak.

Kenny Freeman: Come one, come all, experience the new age of Foodie Magick! I’m Kenny Freeman alongside Randall Schwartz, and we are the Masters of the Multiverse!

Randall interjects, pointing out a much-needed bit of clarification.

Randall Schwartz: B-Team!

Kenny just shoots a glare at his tag partner before continuing.

Kenny Freeman: Indeed, we know a thing or two about magic, so it only makes sense to be partnering with Foodie Magick for the next step in food processing!

Kenny motions to a nearby table with his hands, and thanks to the power of…really good editing…a food processor appears out of thin air!

Kenny Freeman: Introducing…Foodie Magick’s Food-O-Matic 3000!

We get big, bold letters on the screen confirming this (with an added trademark symbol for good measure) before cutting to shots of the processor in action while hearing Kenny’s voice.

Kenny Freeman: It slices! It dices! It even osu’s, if you’re into that kinda thing! It can cut and process anything, from carrots to celery to CDs and even kickpads!

We see some fine print at the bottom of the screen that reads “PLEASE DON’T PROCESS COMPACT DISCS OR KICKPADS IN THE FOOD-O-MATIC 3000” as Kenny continues.

Kenny Freeman: If you like food, you’re gonna love the Food-O-Matic 3000, perfect for the most dangerous mix in cuisine today! Call now to receive a Foodie Magick Salad Mixxer free of charge!

We see the number pop up on the bottom of the screen:

1-800-FOOD-MGK

And the Masters give a thumbs up with a cheesy grin as the PRIMEview fades to black before we cut back to ringside!

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