ALIAS TITLE MATCH: TONY GAMBLE (C) VS. CHANDLER TSONDA

Fireworks explode throughout the Soldier Field as we see tens of thousands of fans in the crowd, all with their… SIGNS!

I’M HERE FOR TEAM DUMP TRUCKS
THANK GOD IM GOING TO NIGHT TWO
THIS GUY SMELLS LIKE SEWER DICKS —–>
<——-THIS GUY IS THE REASON I SMELL LIKE SEWER DICKS
WILL THERE BE CAKE IN THE MAIN EVENT?!?!
CAKE FOR THE CAKE GODS
HEY CLARENCE! FUCK YOU!!

HANLON HAD DUMPS LIKE A TRUCK, TRUCK, TRUCK
THIGHS LIKE WHAT, WHAT, WHAT
JARED, MOVE YOUR BUTT, BUTT, BUTT
UH, I THINK I’LL SIGN IT AGAIN

SOLDIER FIELD IS BEING REBRANDED FOR THE FF7 REBIRTH LAUNCH AND WILL BE KNOWN AS SOLDIER FIELD
TWO RIOTS FOR GAMBLE OR WE DOUBLE DOG RIOT
LET’S CELEBRATE ALL VICTORIES WITH DINNER AND DANCING AT TACO BELL AFTERWARDS

The opening match graphic appears as the crowd builds their own hype amongst each other. The feed goes to ringside.

Vince Howard: This is the opening bout and it is for…

Howard raises the mic high in the air as the crowd lets him know.

The Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!

Richard Parker: Going into business for ourselves Vince, are we?

Nick Stuart: Oh, c’mon! Have some fun and loosen up. It’s the start of a great show! This whole “one fall” thing trended on social media for a couple days. Heaven forbid Vince has a little fun and keeps the crowd going.

Vince Howard: And it is for the Alias Championship! Introducing first…

THUNK THUNK THUNK.

The rolling sequence of lights going out.

Dim.

Dark.

Out.

Nick Stuart: Folks, just bear with us. The lights are out at Soldier Field but-

If you don’t know by now, I’m talkin’ ‘bout Chi-Town

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Even in the dark, the confusing “did somebody not pay the light bill” dark, Chicago knows how to let out the biggest pop in American professional wrestling. Especially for themselves. Especially, even with its light cringe elements, for “Homecoming” by Kanye West, who tragically passed away several years ago and never did or said anything unforgivable that would ruin this song or his legacy.

Do you think about me now and then?
‘Cause I’m comin’ home again

With the thump of bass, and the dancing of the keys, the outer lights of the stadium come back. But they’re neon green.

Maybe you, do you remember when
Fireworks at Lake Michigan
Oh, now I’m comin’ home again
Maybe we can start again

The sound drops out on the last word, and the phrase echoes, as another inner ring alights. Green again.

Richard Parker: Is that freakin’ Packers green?

A voice in the dark. But based on the feedback, and the familiar voice, this isn’t a recording. This is live, baby.

“The Chicago skyline was beautiful on fire.”

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

“All twisted metal stretching upwards
Everything washed in a thin orange haze.”

More lights. This time washed in gold. Smoke machines in overdrive.

A massive stagelight pours down on the top of the ramp. Fog curls and obscures the speaking voice. The PRIMEView remains black.

“I said ‘kiss me, you’re beautiful’
These are truly the last days”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The smoke parts. He steps into the light, holding the microphone.

Yes, he just did the voiceover to his own intro.

The tinkling as an acoustic guitar is picked.

Chandler Tsonda: Chicago, I said these are truly the last. Fucking. Days.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And over the roar of the crowd, finally, comes the thundering drums and electric guitar as Coheed & Cambria’s “Welcome Home” thunders to life. With it, green and gold pyro lights up the night sky, as the stadium comes back to full illumination.

Nick Stuart: Listen to that ovation! 

Richard Parker: Cheap pops are for cheap whores. So this fits.

The usual self-satisfied smirk from the Model Citizen is replaced by a million-watt smile. He soaks in the adoration, and that “top of the show we’re ready to go effing nuts” energy from the crowd. 

Nick Stuart: If I’m not mistaken, the last time Tsonda stood at the top of that ramp in this stadium was the final show of the ReVolution era! Talk about a homecoming.

The crowd volume is immense. “Welcome Home” thrashes.

But it’s time for another surprise.

Another voice, cutting the music short.

“Coming to your ring, like some kind of jerky butt old man Pauly D…”

BOOOOOOOOO!

It’s Johnnie Newsman, ring announcer to the stars. He’s got a mic, and Vince Howard looks on with the body language of a hostage.

Johnnie Newsman: Number one contender for belt because of so much generous champion, so much generous this champion like giving tree!

Tsonda stares a hole in Newsman from the top of the ramp, cracking his knuckles. To the GAS member’s credit, he doesn’t cower.

Johnnie Newsman: This man weight? Like one fifty, but not strong. Frail little man, maybe have consumption.

The Model Citizen begins his walk to the ring.

Johnnie Newsman: He from San Francisco or something. Place for babies and wimps. Everybody homeless. Self-driving car murder you POW! He hail from that. 

Tsonda nods, taking to himself. He’s looking past Newsman and seems now to be locking in for the match, accepting that while Gamble may have played another round of mind games, it’s time for a fight.

Johnnie Newsman: Anyway, he is Mortal Citizen. Chandler Two-sonda. Do not clap, he hate Chicago.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

You can’t keep the good people of Chicago from getting one more vociferous pop for the Sultan of Style. Tsonda stays on the outside, pacing back and forth in front of the announce table, when right on cue, the crowd reaction goes the other way.

Soon, the cheers become boos when Vince Howard is able to speak again.

Vince Howard: And his opponent…

Where my heart is, rests my very soul
And the colors bleed from blue to gold

“Born For This” by Divide Music starts to play through the speakers as Tony Gamble and Johnnie Newsman step out from behind the curtain, soaking in the chorus of boos that rain down from the crowd.

When the choice is mine and mine alone
I won’t give in even if you break my bones

Vince Howard: Comi-

Johnnie Newsman: I am so so sorry, really I am, but you can no do. Thees ees my job now, Vinny.

Nick Stuart: See, this is why it’s okay to allow Vince a moment at the beginning with this “one fall” stuff, Rich. Poor guy can’t get a word in edgewise!

Richard Parker: Whatever.

I won’t give in ‘till your sins have been atoned
All I see is the flickering lights below me

Tony stretches his arms out wide, welcoming the crowd’s form of adoration as Johnnie continues to speak and his music plays. The Gamble Championship fastened firmly around his waist.

All I need is the power to change what I see
If I can give a little, not a second thought

Johnnie Newsman: Coming to your ring, with weight of one hundred and thee eighty nine pounds of lean, healthy muskulls on a man.

If I’m stuck in the middle, I will take the shot, woah
All I wanna be, yeah

Tony makes his way down the ramp, ignoring the few smarks in the crowd that actually do like him. They reach their arms out, awaiting a slap of acknowledgement that will never come, as Johnnie stays at the top of the ramp.

Yeah, I was born for this
I will keep my secrets high above

Johnnie Newsman: He thee capotabola!

In the hopes to protect the ones I love
But I wonder where in darkness lies the truth

Johnnie Newsman: Number won in your heart!

Of the one who took their lives, you can’t excuse
I don’t fear you, I won’t let you take my home

Tony climbs the steps, looking out at the fans that have not quieted down at all since he stepped out from behind the curtain. They love to hate him, even more so as he slaps the face of the title a few times.

I will climb through to wherever you may roam

I won’t give in, you can even break my bones

Johnnie Newsman: Only man to half title with his name!

What is within is a strength you’ll never know

Johnnie Newsman: TOOOOOOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

All I see is the flickering lights below me
All I need is the power to change what I see

He steps in between the middle and top ropes to get into the ring, making his way to the center.

Johnnie Newsman: THEEEEE GRRRRRRIIIINNNNNNNN!!

If I can give a little, not a second thought
If I’m stuck in the middle, I will take the shot, woah

He drops down to one knee, unfastening the Gamble Championship from around his waist as he does.

Johnnie Newsman: GAAAAAAAAMMBLLLLLLEEEEE!!

All I wanna be, yeah

He stretches his arms out once again, then throws back his head to stare at the title he lifts up above his head.

Yeah, I was born for this

Gamble’s theme and entrance come to a close, leaving the crowd white hot for the bout to begin. The ref holds the title high, fans take their pictures.

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

Nick Stuart: Once this bell goes-

DING DING

RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Tsonda and Gamble lock up! Gamble works Tsonda into a quick hammerlock but Tsonda drops his base and slings Gamble over his shoulder. Tsonda breaks free and hits the ropes, coming across with a roundhouse kick to Gamble and knocking the champ down. The crowd gives a loud cheer as the challenger waits for Gamble to rise before he kicks him right back down again!

The champion is on his feet and this time Tsonda delivers a strong right forearm to the side of the head. He works Gamble into a corner with numerous forearms and elbow strikes, before Irish whipping Gamble into the corner across the way. Tony hits the buckle, pops out of the corner and then Tsonda comes racing in with another hard roundhouse kick, knocking The Grin to the mat!

The crowd cheers as Tsonda hits a leg drop and goes for a pin…

ONE.

TW- KICKOUT.

Nick Stuart: I doubt that pin was meant to get the three but otherwise it’s sending a message: this match can end at any time. Gamble has to be on his best game!

Tsonda kips to his feet. He waits on Gamble to rise and then performs a leg sweep followed by an elbow drop. However, once Tsonda’s elbow meets Gamble on the mat, Tony works Chandler into an arm bar submission!

Tsonda tries to reach the ropes with his feet but he can’t seem to get there. Instead, he falls to the mat and attempts to reach the arm that’s locked into the arm bar with his free hand… when suddenly he is on his knees and rolls Gamble into a pin!

ONE-

KICKOUT!

Gamble drops the arm bar quickly and shifts into an upright position. Tony ducks a roundhouse kick from Tsonda and then tackles Chandler to the mat, unloading punches!

The referee asks for a break since these are closed shots but Gamble likely pretends he can’t hear the request, since the crowd continues to be a buzz with the opening contest. The champion finally does remove himself from Tsonda but waits on the challenger to get to his feet.

…Then latches onto The Model Citizen’s waist and delivers a wicked looking German suplex!

Tsonda lands on his head and doesn’t move a muscle!

Gamble walks over, rolls Tsonda onto his back and hooks a leg.

ONE.

TWO.

BARELY A SHOULDER UP!

Tsonda still looks DOA as Gamble drags the challenger to his feet and connects with an atomic drop, followed by bouncing off the ropes-

And eating a pump kick from out of nowhere!

Richard Parker: How did Tsonda have that in him? He looked TKO’ed a moment ago!

Tsonda whips Gamble into the ropes and meets him over there with a clothesline. Both take a tumble out of the ring, with Chandler unfortunately knocking his head off the side of the apron.

Tsonda falls beside Gamble, rubbing the side of his head. Tony takes a moment, sees the position Chandler is in and then grabs him by the arm-

CRASH!

And throws Tsonda into the steel steps knees first!

Tsonda bounces off the steps, up and over while crashing down on the other side of them.

Richard Parker: Good! This should limit the leg strikes from Chandler moving forward!

Gamble gives his neck a crack as he marches over and collects Tsonda. He rolls the hero into the ring and then enters himself but once Tony pops his head through the top and middle rope-

WHACK!

A superkick from Tsonda! A desperate one, of course, as Tsonda falls to the mat and Gamble falls out of the ring!

The crowd stomps their feet, wanting Tsonda to find his feet sooner than later. Gamble is the first to recover, though. He’s back on the apron and working his way through the ropes…

Chandler is on his feet! He aims for another kick but this time Tony was playing possum as the champion snatches Tsonda’s leg and throws it down into the ropes while also falling off the apron deliberately in the process!

Richard Parker: I like that!

Chandler shouts in pain as he falls to the canvas and grabs his knee. Gamble has a determined look on his face as he hops onto the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He measures Tsonda on the canvas and leaps off with a leg drop, draping his own leg across Tsonda’s knee he was holding onto for dear life.

Tsonda shouts out again as Gamble lifts his opponent and connects with a snap suplex. Gamble rolls on the mat and finds Tsonda’s legs… locking him into a figure four!

Nick Stuart: A smart move by Tony. We have no idea what kind of pain Chandler is in right now and if there is significant damage to his knee… even worse!

Tsonda tries to fight towards the ropes as the crowd cheers him on but once he gets close…

Gamble drops the figure four, delivers an elbow to the back of Tsonda’s head and walks both of them back to the center of the ring!

Figure four is re-applied!

Until it’s not! Until almost immediately after Tsonda rolls over and applies the pressure the other way around!

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

LET’S GO CHANDLER!

GAMBLE SUCKS!

Nick Stuart: And this time Chandler was ready for Tony!

Gamble is closer to the ropes than Tsonda was. He reaches out… he’s almost got them…

It looks like Tony might tap but he does grab the ropes!

Chandler breaks the hold and rolls to the middle of the canvas, holding his own right knee. He starts hammering his knee, trying to get the blood flow back into it. The referee asks Chandler if he can continue and Tsonda nods “yes”.

Nick Stuart: Perhaps Tsonda isn’t as injured as I thought he was, but there’s definitely a target on his knee now.

Gamble is up first as he marches over to Tsonda and grabs the leg for a figure four… when he’s rolled into a small package!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

Nick Stuart: You could tell Tsonda didn’t have the best pinfall attempt! His knee gave way and allowed Tony Gamble to actually kickout. Otherwise, I think he might’ve had him!

Richard Parker: Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. Jeesh, I could do this all day if I wanted, Nick. Call the match the way it is. Tony Gamble kicked out. Period.

Both men are on their feet as Tsonda goes for a hard chop against Gamble’s chest. He works Gamble into a corner and then rifles the champion to the corner across the way. Tsonda races in with a big elbow to the head, snatches Gamble’s skull and places it in-between his arm and body… connecting with a running bulldog!

Tsonda rolls to his feet along with Gamble in the same position as he was before, except this time Chandler is facing towards the rest of the champion’s body.

WHAM!

Golgotha Drop!

Nick Stuart: That stalling implant DDT! It might do it!

Tsonda places Gamble onto his back for a pin…

ONE.

TWO.

SHOULDER UP!

Tsonda slides into another position and in the center of the ring he places Gamble into a cobra clutch hold!

The look on Tony Gamble’s face, when he sees where he is, and how far away he is from the ropes…

Nick Stuart: We might have a new champion!

Gamble looks like he’s going to tap when-

Tsonda’s knee gives out from under him! The challenger falls to the side and the hold is broken!

You can see the disappointment on Chandler Tsonda’s face! He holds his leg and tries to hit Tony Gamble with… something. Anything! But the challenger can’t reach the champion…

Gamble hits the ropes and comes across with a huge leaping spear! Gamble peels Tsonda off the mat and connects with a belly-to-belly suplex and then a falcon arrow suplex! A hook of the leg and…

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

The crowd roars but Gamble won’t let them back into the match. He maneuvers around Tsonda’s body and works the challenger into a half-legged Boston crab on the bad knee!

Nick Stuart: Back to the hurting body part, it was only a matter of time!

Richard Parker: It’s over, Nick! I see Chandler tapping, yes!

Nick Stuart: No, you do not.

Richard Parker: Right. My mistake! But it’ll happen soon if he doesn’t get to the ropes!

Tsonda is fighting to get there. Since it’s only a half-legged crab and Tsonda has his good leg free and under him… he IS able to move Tony Gamble!

The Model Citizen is fighting… fighting… fighting… he’s almost there.

Gamble takes a better hold of the leg and starts moving towards the center of the ring!

No! Tsonda breaks free and the crowd cheers wildly! Chandler pops to his feet and finds a desperation knee breaker to Gamble! Both men are down!

The crowd continues to rally behind the challenger as both men work to a crawling base. It is Tony Gamble who’s up first but only because Chandler Tsonda tried and fell back down because of that bad right knee. Gamble goes for a chop block to the knee but at the last second Tsonda jumps out of the way and lands on his one good foot. He’s hopping around, thinking about going for a kick but knows he doesn’t have it in him so instead Tsonda leaps in the air and delivers a strange looking cutter to Gamble.

Nick Stuart: Not sure if Tsonda got all of it!

Richard Parker: He didn’t. He definitely didn’t!

But with the crowd behind him, The Viet Viper uses the ropes to rise. He hammers down on his right knee again and this time it seems to be working. Well, at least as good as Chandler can ask, as he roars forward and connects with a spinning heel kick to Gamble.

Tsonda slams his hands against the mat. He’s working into another mode right now as he pops back up and leaps into the ropes, coming across Gamble’s body with a lionsault and pin!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

Tsonda thought it was over, the crowd thought it was over, and Tony Gamble uses the SPLIT SECOND Chandler was off his game to his advantage with an elbow to the side of the head, followed by a leaping, high angle DDT and then going right back to Tsonda’s knee with a bunch of kicks.

Chandler shouts. He reaches for the ropes in the hopes to pull himself up and away from everything going on but he’s too far. Gamble helps lift Tsonda to his feet but not in an ideal way. Gamble takes hold of Tsonda’s good leg and tucks it behind itself as he wraps his arms around Tsonda’s body and then drops the challenger and all of his own weight against the bad leg/knee.

Tsonda screams! Gamble is going to do it again as he lifts Tsonda into the air when suddenly Tsonda wraps his legs around Gamble’s neck with a hurricanrana into a pin!

ONE!

TWO!

VERY LAST SECOND KICKOUT!

Tsonda with a follow-up elbow strike and both men fall to the mat! The crowd cheers as Tsonda crawls to a corner and uses the buckle to pull himself up. He decides he’s going for it all. He’s going for broke! With one knock into his bad knee, Chandler Tsonda climbs the ropes and stands on top of it. It looks like he can balance well…

When Tony Gamble makes a play! Gamble is on his feet and the champion runs over, climbing the top rope, too!

Nick Stuart: This is extremely dangerous!

Richard Parker: Tsonda’s an idiot.

Nick Stuart: They’re BOTH up there!

Gamble connects with a forearm shot and Tsonda follows with a headbutt. Neither man is looking to lay down. However, Chandler hits Gamble with two consecutive headbutts. Tony is forced to fall/semi-jump off the turnbuckle pad to the floor below, outside the ring.

In a swift second…

RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Nick Stuart: Oh my! Tsonda with The Model Citizen moonsault onto Gamble!

Tsonda leans over and still with one difficult wheel, he plucks Gamble from the floor and tosses him into the ring!

Tsonda begins to climb back to that same top rope he recently flew off of!

With the champion motionless in the middle of the ring… Chandler Tsonda measures.

JUMPS.

FLIES…

Model Citizen lands BULLSEYE!

Tsonda hooks both legs and looks up into the ceiling!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Vince Howard: The winner of this match AND NNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW Alias Champion… CHANDLER TSONDA!!!

Tsonda’s theme plays as the crowd stands giving a roaring ovation. Meanwhile, Tsonda limps to his feet and is handed his brand new championship strap. He holds it up, almost putting full weight on his bad leg.

Nick Stuart: That’s fighting spirit! Chandler is going to sleep well tonight!

Richard Parker: I won’t be!

Tsonda walks over to the same corner of the ring he hit two moonsaults from. He climbs and raises the belt while Tony Gamble recovers at the side of the squared circle.

Nick Stuart: A solid back-and-forth affair. In the end, we have the same outcome as Ultra Violence 2008!

Richard Parker: Great. Glad I wasn’t there.

Nick Stuart: But you were there.

Richard Parker: Can we go to the next match yet?