ALL ON THE SAME PAGE
Near the locker rooms, we’ve got four people. One of them is Angelica Brooks, here on behalf of PRIME. The other three are all wearing ring gear and satin jackets in the same style, but different colors. The colors are green, purple, and red; the people are Dennis, Jennifer, and Benjamin Colton, respectively.
It feels like something’s missing, though. Something…blue.
Angelica Brooks: Hello, PWA fans! We’re getting ready for tonight’s main event, and I’m here with one of the teams involved–the Coltons!
Dennis Colton: Hi, everyone.
Jennifer Colton: Heyo.
The first two direct their address to the camera; Benjamin, on the other hand, is definitely talking to the reporter.
Benjamin Colton: Sup?
Angelica Brooks: You three, along with your brother Nathan–where is he, by the way?
A trio of shrugs.
Angelica Brooks: Anyway. The four of you will be facing a team consisting of Ivan Stanislav, Alexei Ruslan, Peach Backshots, and Rezin. How do you feel about your chances, especially on such a grand stage?
As he often does, Benjamin steps into the Attention Zone before anyone else can react.
Benjamin Colton: How do I feel? How do I FEEEEEEEEEEL? Baby, I feel ELECTRIC! I feel like I could take on an army! Good news, ‘cause that’s just what Goat Boy put together against us. You got Ivan Stanislav, who’s a hundred feet tall and made of steel. Alexei Ruslan, who I won’t call a snake in the grass ‘cause that’s an insult to snakes, grass, and prepositions.
Jennifer scowls, because she just lost a bet on whether or not Benny knew what a preposition was.
Benjamin Colton: Peach Backshots, who’s the same person inside the ring and out–hot as hell, and makes bad decisions. And last but not least, the Goat Bastard himself, Indiana’s fifth-best wrestler, Rezin. Lotta danger in that lineup, but I’m feelin’ pretty damn dangerous myself! I’m a bus full of nuns with no brakes, baby! I cannot be stopped!
Jennifer Colton: What the shit are you talking about?
Benjamin Colton: I’m talking about the number one wrestling family in the world taking over the spotlight! We are undeniable! Preach it, big man!
Dennis Colton: Just look at what we’ve put together this year. Benny and me? Ripped our way through SHOOT Project and became Masters of the Mat. Last year, Jenny won the Belmont Classic. This year, she’s been putting the boots to anyone and everyone in MVW, and is gonna be the Women’s Champ soon. And cousin Nate? He’s been cleaning house in PRIME and will have gold back around his waist before you know it. We’re all at the top of the heap, and we’re going to stay here for a really, really long time.
Jennifer practically shoves her much larger cousin away from the microphone in order to take her turn.
Jennifer Colton: Ivan’s been talking all kinds of crap in the last few weeks. I don’t know what exactly ‘cause I don’t speak Russian or jackass, but I’m sure it was something stupid like COLTONS WEAK AND PUNY I WILL CRUSH THEM DYAAA HA HA! Like we don’t have a say in the matter. Like we didn’t grow up in the business, or train for it all our lives. Like he thinks all that hot air is gonna scare us for a single damn second! Time for him–for ALL them bitches to learn what happens when you screw with us. Spoiler alert, it’s an ass kicking!
Angelica Brooks: Bold words from the Colton family. Let’s see if they follow it up with bold action.
Jennifer Colton: You know we will. Anyone who wants to know what wrestling is all about? All they gotta do is…
Catchphrase time. They’ve been practicing; let’s see if it paid off.
Benjamin Colton: Say.
Dennis Colton: Our.
Jennifer Colton: Name.
Hey, not bad.
Angelica Brooks: There you have it. Let’s go back to the booth, where the next match is about to start.
Just before the shot fades out, another figure walks into the scene. He’s wearing the same satin ring jacket as the others, but his is blue. Friends, it’s the long-awaited Nate Colton!
Oddly, the other three don’t look terribly thrilled to see him.
Nate Colton: What?
Jennifer Colton: Where the fuck have you been?
Unfortunately, we never get an answer to that question. Instead, we go to…