ALMASY INVITATIONAL FINALS: 1 BRANDON YOUNGBLOOD vs. 8 CANCER JILES

Nick Stuart: Next up… is our MAIN EVENT!

Richard Parker: A main event I don’t think any of us saw coming.

Nick Stuart: No, definitely not. Yet, it’s here.

Richard Parker: I can’t begin to fathom Cancer Jiles being in this main event.

Nick Stuart: Oh, that’s clear. That’s very clear. Let’s hand it over to Vince Howard in the ring for the intros.

Quick cut to Vince Howard.

Vince Howard: The following match is ONE FALL!

RAAAAAAAAAAH!

Vince Howard: And is our MAIN EVENT!

RAAAAAAAAAAH!

Vince Howard: And is for the UNIVERSAL TITLE!

RAAAAAAAAAAH!

Vince Howard: And is the finals in the Seymour Almasy Invitation Tournament!

RAAAAAAAAAAH!

Nick Stuart: These fans are READY!

Vince Howard: Introducing FIRST!

Nick Stuart: THIS IS IT! FINALS OF THE ALMASY INVITATIONAL! WE’RE CROWNING A UNIVERSAL CHAMPION TONIGHT!

Richard Parker: If Youngblood loses we riot. I don’t want to hear any guff about it.

Nick Stuart: Noted. Still, I can’t believe we’ve made it this far! We’re back! Main event of Culture Shock!

Richard Parker: The show’s not over yet, Nick, don’t go counting our chickens.

Nick Stuart: Is that an egg pun? From you?

The MGM Grand Garden Arena suddenly goes dark. The PRIMEates in attendance jump to their feet in feverish anticipation of what is to come. Seconds begin to build atop of each other like blocks…

Then, a familiar blast from the past.

Feedback. Breakneck guitar riffs. Rapid fire blinding strobe lights.

Nick Stuart: HOLY FU—!!! That’s “WAIT” by EARSHOT!!! That’s Brandon Youngblood’s old music! THIS IS INSANE! Listen to this crowd!! Shades of Culture Shock 2010!

ALL of the PRIMEates go absolutely bonkers for Youngblood’s old theme. The production crew even manages to dig up his old video package to go along with it.

Nick Stuart: Just wait till Youngblood pops through the curtain! The roof might blow off the top of the building! No way he loses tonight! No way!

Richard Parker: Don’t count on it.

Nick Stuart: Uh, what’s that Richard?

Richard Parker: Look up.

Stuart looks up. His eyes bulge. His jaw drops. Slowly, but steadily, the rest of the MGM Grand begins to take notice. Soon thereafter the fun, happy go lucky, party on Wayne atmosphere that once encompassed the building leaves. In its place the always COOL, soothing, deafening, sound of silence.

Nick Stuart: It’s Cancer Jiles! He’s gyrating up in the rafters! He’s got some sort of… I don’t even know what you’d call that thing!

Richard Parker: It’s an egg launcher.

Nick Stuart: And how would you know that?

Richard Parker: Look at my face.

Poor Dicky took one right on the kisser while the place was going ballistic to Youngblood’s fake entrance. It’s probably the reason he knew Jiles was up there before anyone else.

Nick Stuart: …

Suddenly the old, nostalgic video package goes SPLAT. The music hastily scratches to halt like an old record. Jiles stops with his perverse gyrating, and ditches the launcher.

Nick Stuart: Wait, he’s not going to?

Then, amongst the shell shocked silence, a horse’s neigh is heard. Out from the curtain step Doozer and Bobby Dean. Doozer is working security, and Bobby is working Cocaine, Jiles’ white high horse that he rides around on.

Nick Stuart: No way. Just no freaking way. He’s not…

Before Stuart can finish, Jiles hooks on to a zipline and zips his merry way down to his Bandit brethren like it’s just another day at the office. He even yawns on the way down, and manages to sign an autograph for that ONE eGG Bandit fan.

Nick Stuart: Of course the company man sticks the landing. Why not?

Yes, that means Jiles landed flush on his horse.

Richard Parker: I can’t believe I’m about to say this… but our boy might be in trouble tonight. I’ve never seen anything like this before. Ever. He looks ten feet tall on top of that horse!

A series of pyros that would melt the straps off of Brandon Youngblood’s singlet light up the MGM Grand. Then, a true guitar riff riffs its way through the building, and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins starts to sing.

I’m the one your momma warned you about
When you see me I will leave you no doubt
I’m the COOLEST man to walk this Earth
I’ve been the COOLEST since the day of my birth…

…I AM THE COOL.

More pyros.

More utterly shit shocked silence from the PRIMEates.

Nick Stuart: Well, there goes all the air— right out of the building. Advantage Jiles, and Youngblood isn’t even in the ring.

Richard Parker: This guy is such a dickhead.

Nick Stuart: Love him or hate him, he knows what he’s doing. He’s taken the crowd out of it and the match hasn’t even started yet!

Richard Parker: Oh I definitely hate him. MOST DEFINITELY.

The Bandits confidently make their way down to the ring. Jiles is all business atop his high horse. No smile. No insulting interactions with fans. Hair looking like a million dollar bill.

Nick Stuart: One has to wonder what Brandon Youngblood thinks of all this? I know Jiles is doing it to get inside his head… I don’t know how it couldn’t be working.

The Grand Maestro of COOL hops off his horse, hands Bobby his shades, shares a fist bump with Dooze, and slides under the bottom rope. Bobby, Dooze, and Cocaine make their way back up the ramp and disappear through the curtain. Jiles climbs the turnbuckles to properly orchestrate his profound symphony of silence. After waving his arms around like a complete and utter jerkoff for a few seconds he jumps down from his perch to “chat” up the ref.

Nick Stuart: If you asked many people in the Almasy Invitational before it started about Cancer Jiles, most would think of him as a pushover. Cheap furniture. His arrogance, his cutting words, how above everything he seems to present himself as, and with how blatant he is to take any short cut, cut any corner–

Richard Parker: There’s doing what it takes to win. I don’t fault someone for doing what they can. It’s easy for us to play preacher and sermonize on the mortality of competition, but wins and losses matter. They matter in rankings. They matter in your legacy. They matter in how you’re viewed. And most importantly, they matter in the money going in your wallet when it is all said and done. With Jiles, there’s no striving. He’s a loud mouth prick who walks into your home just to piss all over the walls.

Nick Stuart: But it is clear he isn’t a pushover. His accolades are numerous. You don’t make it in the sport of wrestling for fifteen years if you are cannon fodder. And while some might say what they will, about Tapioca Puddings, this man defeated Nova, he survived the brutality of Balaam, and he made his way through a very game Teddy Palmer. He has a golden ticket Universal Championship match banked regardless of the result tonight. As much as most don’t like it, Cancer Jiles might just be our next Universal Champion.

Richard Parker: What a disgusting thought…

All the ballyhoo, all the lavish mind games not only directed at Jiles’ opponent, but the entirety of the PRIME roster as well, melt away. The MGM Grand Arena crowd is tense, the booing having turned to rising noise, building to a fever pitch.

Nick Stuart: Things are about to get much more serious now.

Richard Parker: And I can’t wait.

From the soundstage fades in a pulse, anticipatory pitch with a background of rain, of distant rumbling thunder. The arena lighting system accentuates this, flashing reds with an undercurrent of blinding white to the rhythm of the storm. Moments later, notes begin to punctuate the coming storm, an amalgam of synthesized piano keys and a surging cybernetic heart. The pace quickens, a dull roar beginning to form in the crowd, the melody and lights cutting abruptly at its apex, the power draining from the arena.

Static cuts through, and then, a guttural din of heavy guitar and drums.

♪ Step up to me step up to me ♪

Enemy by Sevendust. Static once again. Hard smashed cymbals and a thrashing riff replaces it until it too is broken by static, Wait by Earshot blasting through for the second time in a manner of minutes, and on, Bastard by Devin Townsend, Black Static by HEALTH, Abandoned Streets by Jordan K. Every song Brandon Youngblood has ever come out to in his career. And as the auditory assault continues, the arena remains black, until another down surge in energy brings the music to an end.

An energy pulse, bringing the arena lights back to life, slowly, faintly, until they are on in full. Until a distorted, cutthroat battle cry brings forth a call to war.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
LET THE GALAXY BURN

A wall of dominant noise surges through the arena, Bloodsport (World Domination) by HEALTH pounding a clarion call to battle, and as Brandon Youngblood powers into focus from the back, the crowd roars.

Nick Stuart: This ovation is thunderous here in Las Vegas!

Richard Parker: It’s only going to be louder when Brandon Youngblood starts ragdolling this chump around the ring like cheap furniture, and I, for one, am going to love it.

Nick Stuart: For Youngblood, the road here is nearly twenty years in the making. Three times he’s been the 5 Star Champion of PRIME. A PTC Elite Champion. Many accolades decorate his Hall of Fame career, but it’s the names…the opponents he’s defeated that make him PRIME’s true Tower of Babel. The only thing missing from his vaunted career is the Universal Championship, which he may well win here tonight.

Richard Parker: He might just be the greatest wrestling in our history to never win the big one. So many close calls. Twice in Dual Halos. He’s only had two chances at the Universal Title, and fell both times to Hall of Famers. But tonight, he carries a different swagger. You can see it. He’s focused. He’s alert. He’s not giving up size like he was with Hoyt Williams back at King of Kings of 2005. This isn’t a battle of respect between peers like Culture Shock 2010. If ever there was a time to take destiny by the throat, it’s tonight.

Nick Stuart: Vegas betting lines have Youngblood as a favorite here, but we all know when the bell rings, the lines mean nothing. But keep in mind, and these is what Jiles is up against…in tournament competition in PRIME, Brandon Youngblood has won his last eight matches. In fact, in tournament competition in PRIME? In eleven total contests, he’s never been pinned or submitted.

Richard Parker: Yeah, but that streak extends nearly a decade.

Nick Stuart: With who he’s faced in that span? Not just back then, but now? Jonathan-Christopher Hall. We haven’t seen or heard from Miles Lucky since he was brutally Karelin Lifted. The Anglo Luchador. Impulse…

Richard Parker: Point taken.

The tighter focus on the Tower of Babel showcases his unique attire for this night; his singlet, usually mainly white, is colored platinum, a collection of emblazoned red roman numerals along its back. On his arm is a compression pad colored purple, a long katana with an ornate hilt spanning its back. Calls to the man this tournament final is in honor of. How he dyed his hair. The Divine Blade Imperial. And just like the homages to Seymour Almasy, Brandon Youngblood carries with him a bounty that he’d survived until this moment without relinquishing.

His expression is stern, his stride commanding as he nears the ring, Walking across the ringside mats, he slowly stalks his way to the stairs. Each climbing step forward stabs the steel, his left hand grasping the ring post as he takes his first pace across the apron. Moving between the ropes, he brings his head down and slackens his limbs before exploding out of the stretching of his shoulders. Peering towards the crowd, Brandon’s expression does not change, even as he looks over his shoulder at his opponent, ready for him to strike.

Nick Stuart: This is a battle for the future of PRIME. Perhaps for its very soul. Everything is at stake. The Universal Championship. The memory of Seymour Almasy.

Richard Parker: Let the games begin!

Youngblood draws to his designated corner, resting his back against the turnbuckles as he clasps the top ropes on each side. If stares could kill, Cancer Jiles would be dead. But if such things mattered, he’d have been dead long before now. The Tower of Babel is facing something fueled with the survival instinct of a nuclear winter cockroach.

Vince Howard: Hailing from Winnepeg, Manitoba, Canada… weighing in at 280 pounds… he is the former three time 5-Star Champion, the 2009 Jewel In The Crown, PRIME Hall of Famer, winner of the Rolo Bracket of the Almasy Invitational…The Last Diamond… BRANDON! YOUNGBLOOD!

DING DING

Both men circle each other in the ring. The energy permeates both men as Jiles looks loose, shaking his arms, and with a slight smile on his face while Youngblood looks all business. Youngblood immediately charges at Jiles only for him to roll out of the ring in a hurry and circles the ring, tapping the side of his head in the process, showing that Jiles’ ring prowess is on display tonight. Youngblood immediately exits the ring and chases Jiles around the ring. Jiles slides into the ring and Youngblood follows after him where Jiles connects with a series of quick kicks to the back of BY’s head.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: Cancer Jiles is playing some mind games with Youngblood in the early parts of this match.

Richard Parker: Mind games? That suggest that Jiles has a mind to begin with. Have you seen this man?

Nick Stuart: You’re just upset that he egged you.

Richard Parker: EXACTLY! Egged me! Who does that?!

Youngblood roars back to his feet and pelts Jiles with a series of stiff forearms before spinning Jiles around and connecting with a release German Suplex. Jiles lands hard on the back of his neck and immediately rolls out of the ring as Youngblood bounces back to his feet, his eyes looking like they’re ready to destroy Jiles. Youngblood moves to the edge of the ring, motioning for Jiles to get back in the ring. Jiles rubs the back of his neck and shakes his head once again, walking around the ring while the referee counts.

Richard Parker: Jiles getting exactly what he deserves here.

Nick Stuart: Cancer Jiles getting a stern reminder of the game that Youngblood can play with that release German Suplex. Dropped him right on the back of his neck.

Richard Parker: I’m seriously conflicted in this match.

Nick Stuart: Over?

Richard Parker: Well, not conflicted I should say. I just don’t want either of these two to win, but Jiles much less.

Nick Stuart: Glad we cleared that up.

At the five count, Jiles hops onto the ring apron, ordering the referee to keep Youngblood back. Jiles slowly enters the ring and as half of his body is back in the ring, Youngblood charges at him which causes Jiles to hop off the ring apron again and onto the floor. He shoos Youngblood away while the referee admonishes Youngblood. Youngblood moves backwards, no change to his demeanor, and motions for Jiles to get back in the ring. Jiles slowly makes his way back into the ring while Youngblood hangs back.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: My goodness.

Richard Parker: What an insufferable pr—

Nick Stuart: Alright, calm down over there, partner.

Richard Parker: Fine, fine. I can’t wait for Youngblood to get his hands on him.

Youngblood and Jiles circle each other once again, Jiles moving closer to Youngblood and seems ready for a tie-up. Youngblood cautiously moves towards Jiles only for Cancer to smack the shit out of Youngblood. Brandon shakes his head from the shot before connecting with a double leg takedown on Jiles. Cancer immediately tries to move away from Youngblood only for Brandon to connect with a series of elbow strikes to the jaw of his opponent. Cancer slams his elbow into the ribs of Youngblood, giving him some space to operate as he slips away from Youngblood and pelts him with a series of forearms to the upper back and neck of the Crown Jewel of PRIME.

Richard Parker: Youngblood is gonna kill you.

Nick Stuart: Stop that, that’s trademark infringement.

Richard Parker: It is not!

Nick Stuart: Do you have money for a lawsuit if it is?

Richard Parker: Nope.

Jiles snaps his boot across the jaw of Youngblood before helping him up to his feet, pushes him into the corner, and connects with a knife-edge chop that echoes throughout the MGM Grand Arena. Youngblood slams his head into the bridge of Jiles nose, causing Cancer to stumble away, clutching at his face in the process. Youngblood grabs Jiles by the neck and tosses him into the corner before connecting with three straight knife-edge chops that immediately redden Jiles chest. Youngblood then yanks Cancer out of the corner and connects with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Jiles soars to the other corner, pulling himself up using the ropes, only to turn around and be met with a running clothesline into the corner from Youngblood. Jiles slumps into the corner.

Nick Stuart: You could hear those knife-edge chops from Youngblood clear to Palm Springs!

Richard Parker: You think after this that Youngblood will go down and perform at Coachella?

Nick Stuart: What in the world are you talking about?

Richard Parker: You know, now the Kan—

Nick Stuart: Nope, not talking about that.

Youngblood grabs Jiles by the legs and drags him out of the corner before bouncing off the ropes and dropping a knee across the face of Jiles. Jiles rolls onto his knees, in pain, giving Youngblood the opening to wrap his arms around the waist of Jiles and yanks him off the mat. He goes for a German Suplex, but Jiles manages to land on his feet. Youngblood turns around and rushes at Jiles only for Cancer to put Youngblood into a headlock and hip tosses him onto the mat. Youngblood tries to force his way out of it, but Cancer wrenches his arms tighter around the head and neck of Youngblood.

Richard Parker: What in the hell am I seeing?!

Nick Stuart: A headlock.

Richard Parker: I know that!

Nick Stuart: Then why did you ask me?

Richard Parker: Because it’s Cancer Jiles applying it!

Youngblood starts to stand while Jiles continues to apply the headlock. Youngblood tries to push Jiles off of him, but Jiles holds on and hip tosses Youngblood once again onto the mat. As both men are seated, Youngblood tries to force Jiles off of him again, but Jiles refuses to let up. Youngblood forces both of them to their feet once again and this time Youngblood connects with a backdrop driver, breaking the hold that Jiles has one him. As both men rise to their feet, Youngblood charges at Jiles and connects with a sickening clothesline that flips him inside out. Jiles lands on his back as Youngblood goes for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Richard Parker: Oh come on ref! What are you doing over there?

Nick Stuart: Calm down over there. You do realize that you’re cheering on Brandon Youngblood, correct? I mean, there are some crazy things I’ve seen in my life, but this might take the cake.

Richard Parker: Like I keep trying to say, Cancer Jiles is an insufferable little pr—

Nick Stuart: Okay, okay. Calm down.

Brandon makes his way back to his feet, no expression on his face, as he grabs Jiles by the back of the neck and pulls him up to his feet before pushing him into the ropes and driving his knee into the midsection of his opponent. Jiles doubles over from the shot as Youngblood then whips Cancer into the ropes and goes for an arm drag, but Cancer blocks it, slamming his own knee into the midsection of Youngblood and connecting with a neck breaker. Both men lie in the middle of the ring before Jiles rolls over and drapes his arm across the chest of Youngblood.

ONE!

TWO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: And these two men are going back and forth with one another! Neither man has been able to get an advantage over the other one and the fans in the MGM Grand Arena are loving every minute of it.

Richard Parker: breathing heavily

Nick Stuart: You okay over there, Richard?

Richard Parker: No, no I’m not.

Nick Stuart: …did you put a bet on this match?

Richard Parker: …maybe.

Jiles makes his way up to his feet first and begins to drag Youngblood up with him only for Youngblood to slam his fist into his midsection. Youngblood fights his way up to his feet only for Jiles to jam his thumb in Youngblood’s eye. Jiles then starts clubbing Youngblood in the back of the head with a series of forearm strikes. He then spins Youngblood around and connects with a side belly-to-belly suplex which he follows through by mounting Brandon and drilling him with a series of fists before wrapping his hands around Youngblood’s throat, trying to choke the life out of him until the referee breaks it up.

Richard Parker: That no good, rotten, piece of sh—

Nick Stuart: Are you trying to get fired? Also, who are you?!

Richard Parker: I’m sorry, he just brings it out of me Nick! I can’t stand him!

Nick Stuart: We can tell, Richard. We can tell. Jiles is just taking it to Youngblood and I don’t think that’s what anyone expected from this match. It’s actually become a… wrestling match? I think Cancer Jiles is actually wrestling?

Jiles makes his way back up to his feet and starts stomping away at Youngblood, each shot heavier than the last. He then drags Youngblood over to the nearby corner, pulls him up to his feet, and slams his head into the turnbuckle before whipping him into the ropes and dropping him with a back elbow to the sternum. Jiles then bounces off the ropes and connects with a knee across the throat of Youngblood! Brandon rolls around in pain as Jiles then gets back to his feet and starts stomping away at the left knee of Youngblood.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: I think everyone’s face just fell off here in the MGM-Grand Arena.

Richard Parker: Mmhmhfadasd

Nick Stuart: See? Richard isn’t even talking. Cancer Jiles has made this a wrestling match which I don’t think anyone in here expected. Least of all being Brandon Youngblood who right now is being outwrestled by Cancer Jiles.

Richard Parker: You take that back, you evil person!

Nick Stuart: The intensity and focus in which Jiles has brought to this match is truly something else.

Jiles then drags Youngblood over to the edge of the ring, places Youngblood’s left leg onto the bottom rope and leaps up before putting all his weight down across the leg of the Crown Jewel! Brandon rolls away in pain while his opponent rolls out of the ring, grabs Youngblood and snaps his left leg around the ring post! BY grimaces in pain as Cancer winds up and does the same thing again! Jiles then re-enters the ring and puts Youngblood into a half Boston Crab, focusing on the left leg of his opponent in the process.

Richard Parker: No, you stop that right now!

Nick Stuart: Richard’s brain is irrevocably broken right now as Cancer Jiles has a half-Boston Crab on Brandon Youngblood. If you hit your head, went into a coma, and came out of it to turn your TV on and put it on Culture Shock, you do not need to adjust your television set. This is correct. Cancer Jiles has applied a wrestling hold.

Richard Parker: Where did he even learn this?!

Nick Stuart: I assume he went to wrestling school?

Richard Parker: No, no. Jiles didn’t even go to regular school, much less wrestling school!

Jiles eventually breaks the hold, turns Youngblood over and slams his elbow into the left leg of Brandon. He rolls around in pain as Jiles starts stomping away at it again before yanking Youngblood off of the mat, pushing him into the ropes and drilling him with a nasty right fist to the jaw! He then whips Youngblood into the ropes, but BY collapses half way due to the pain in his leg. Jiles just laughs and mocks Youngblood before slamming his boot repeatedly into the injured leg of his opponent before bouncing off the ropes and dropping his knee across the injured leg.

Nick Stuart: And Jiles continues to focus in on the left knee and leg of Brandon Youngblood. Jiles is being methodical and calculating in every move he is making right now. It is truly stunning to see.

Richard Parker: I’m trying to determine if pouring bleach in my eyes right now would be more offensive then what I’m witnessing.

Nick Stuart: I don’t think I would recommend that if I were you.

Richard Parker: Oh trust me, it’s about to happen if I have to endure anymore of this.

Jiles yanks Brandon up off his feet and attempts to go for a German Suplex, but Youngblood manages to block it. Jiles retaliates with a series of forearm strikes to the back of the skull before he goes for it again. This time, Brandon manages to land behind Jiles, but his left leg gives out on him, dropping him to one knee. Jiles turns around and Youngblood explodes with an uppercut to the jaw. Youngblood limps towards Jiles and connects with a knife-edge chop before Youngblood shakes out his left leg and bounces off the ropes, connecting with a spear that sends both wrestlers crashing to the outside.

Richard Parker: About time you woke up, Youngblood! Murder this fool and walk out of here the champ— oh, I’m gonna be sick.

Nick Stuart: Yeah, that’s going too hard in that direction. Your body needs time to adjust to cheering for Youngblood.

Richard Parker: Shush, I need quiet. I need to go to my happy place.

Nick Stuart: That’s three miles down the strip.

Richard Parker: Ah, the Lusty Leopard. Be right back.

Nick Stuart: Sit down! We have a match going on here!

Brandon slowly hobbles his way up to his feet and grabs Jiles, who slams his fist into Youngblood’s left knee! The shot slows BY down and gives Jiles the time he needs as he gets back up to his feet and slams Youngblood’s head into the ring apron before lifting him up and dropping him throat first across the ring barricade! Jiles then hops over the barricade and tells the fans to get away from greatness in the process, and wraps his hands around Youngblood’s head before pressing his throat against the barricade and choking him.

Nick Stuart: Cancer Jiles is not letting up! Just when it looked like that Youngblood might be swinging the momentum back in his favor, Jiles closed that door HARD.

Richard Parker: The only thing that’s ever been hard with Cancer Jiles—

Nick Stuart: Oh, let’s not go there.

Richard Parker: Is his thick SKULL!

Nick Stuart: Not where I thought that was going.

Jiles then drills his elbow into the back of Youngblood’s head before hopping back over the ring barricade and sliding Brandon back into the ring. Cancer follows after him, bounces off the ropes and slams his elbow across Youngblood’s sternum. Brandon rolls around in pain, the source coming from his throat and left leg now. Youngblood tries his best to sit up and as he does, Jiles bounces off the ropes and connects with a dropkick to the face of the seated Youngblood.

Nick Stuart: What a beautiful dropkick on Youngblood! Did you ever imagine this would be the Cancer Jiles we got here tonight?

Richard Parker: I didn’t imagine Jiles being in the main event of Culture Shock, competing for the Universal Title. I don’t think most people imagined Jiles making his way through life to this point and still being alive to be frank.

Nick Stuart: There is something about Cancer Jiles that just is surreal.

Richard Parker: Yes, just like that Paris Hilton show. They’re about on the same level.

Youngblood is doing his best to make his way back up to his feet and as he does, Jiles is mocking him, slapping him on the back of the head. Cancer then drags BY up to his feet before slamming his knee into Youngblood’s abdomen and nailing him with a gutwrench suplex. Jiles then gets back up to his feet, takes a few steps back, before connecting with a knee drop across the sternum of Youngblood.

Richard Parker: Why… is… this… happening?

Nick Stuart: The assault from Jiles is never-ending. I don’t know how Youngblood is even still functioning.

Richard Parker: How are any of us going to function if Jiles wins this match? He will be ten times more insufferable then he is now and that is saying a lot.

Nick Stuart: Needless to say, the only thing stopping Jiles from the Universal Title is Brandon Youngblood and that’s a massive mountain still in his way.

Richard Parker: I sure hope so.

Jiles then yanks BY off of the mat and pushes him into the corner where he drills him with an uppercut. Brandon is slumping in the corner as Jiles slaps him around before whipping him across the ring to the opposite corner where he connects with a running clothesline. Brandon slumps down in the corner, which gives Jiles the opening he needs as he presses his boot across the throat of BY!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: How much more does Youngblood have left in the tank? The abuse he is taking right now is unbelievable!

Richard Parker: The journey to this moment has been harrowing and I don’t think I want to see the other side of it.

Nick Stuart: Both of these men have gone through hell to get to this point and for Youngblood, he’s behind right now, but maybe not for long.

Richard Parker: I need a sign of life right now from Brandon Youngblood… and yes, I threw up in my mind as I said that.

Youngblood is left slumping in the corner as Jiles walks around the ring, posing for the crowd as they boo him. He then walks over to BY, yanking him up by the arm and drilling him in the face with a few forearm smashes. Brandon fights back with a few fists of his own and goes to kick Jiles with his left leg only for Cancer to catch it. Youngblood then hops a few times before connecting with a rising knee strike to the face of Jiles that sends both men crashing to the floor.

Nick Stuart: And YOUNGBLOOD with a rising knee strike that FLOORED Jiles!

Richard Parker: Oh, there is a Hoyt!

Nick Stuart: I have no idea where Youngblood came up with that, but it was all he needed to give himself an opportunity at a breather.

Richard Parker: Forget breathing, get in there and do something!

Youngblood grabs at the ropes while Jiles makes his way up to his feet and drags Youngblood up. Brandon is still in a world of pain and Jiles laughs at BY before slapping him. Youngblood retaliates by lighting Jiles up with a series of elbows. Jiles quickly plants his knee into Youngblood’s midsection before whipping him into the ropes. Youngblood comes flying back with a flying knee to the face! Brandon scrambles to his feet and catches Jiles with a stiff-knife edge chop before he bounces off the ropes and nails him with a spear!

Richard Parker: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

Nick Stuart: Okay, partner. Bring it down a notch. Youngblood showing signs of life here and using his sheer strength and ability

Richard Parker: Signs of life?! YOUNGBLOOD IS TAKING US TO THE PROMISED LAND!

Nick Stuart: What are you drinking over here? sniffs Oh Geez!

Richard Parker: Don’t judge me! I know about that night in Tijuana!

Youngblood sits up, still drained, and makes his way up to his feet. His left leg is still bothering him, but he shakes it off. He grabs at his throat and it is still rather tender and red. Brandon grabs Jiles, who is getting up to his feet, and drills him with a forearm in the back of the head before whipping him into the ropes and connecting with a sidewalk slam. Youngblood slowly makes his way up to his feet before he mounts Jiles and rains down a series of elbow strikes, determined to unleash hell upon Cancer.

Nick Stuart: I think Youngblood is about to bash Cancer’s face in.

Richard Parker: This is the fight to Cancer that we’ve all been waiting for.

Nick Stuart: Like… in life? Or in the ring?

Richard Parker: In the ring! What do I care about cancer in real life?

Nick Stuart: Way to stay centered there, buddy.

Youngblood drags Jiles back up to his feet, pushes him into the corner, and connects with a stiff knife-edge chop! Cancer stumbles out of the corner, clutching his chest, but BY grabs him, pushes him back into the corner before connecting with another stiff knife-edge chop! Jiles looks like he’s been shot as Brandon Youngblood then whips him across to the opposite corner and follows it up with a running clothesline with immense impact! Jiles stumbles out of the corner and as he does, Youngblood bounces off the ropes and connects with a bulldog down to the mat.

Richard Parker: Youngblood is picking up the pace and Jiles can’t do a damn thing about it!

Nick Stuart: Youngblood continuing to apply pressure on Jiles and seems to be picking up all the momentum he needs. Still, looking at Brandon’s face, you can tell the exhaustion and pain he is in. This is the mark of a true champion, his ability to keep fighting through it all.

Richard Parker: Look, I don’t need him to do much. Just murder Cancer Jiles.

Nick Stuart: That is illegal.

Richard Parker: But, is it?

Youngblood grabs Jiles by the neck and yanks him up to his feet, pushes him into the corner, and begins to slam his knee repeatedly into Jiles midsection before yanking him out of the corner and into a gut wrench slam. Youngblood then rolls Jiles over and puts him into a Dragon Sleeper, causing Jiles to scramble in a hurry only for Youngblood to tighten the hold on him. Jiles fumbles around before he manages to wrap his legs around the bottom rope and the referee is forced to have Youngblood break the hold. Youngblood does so, yanking Jiles away from the bottom rope before dropping an elbow to the back of his head.

Nick Stuart: Jiles just BARELY got to the bottom rope in the nick of time. He knew the end was near if he didn’t get away as there was nothing he could to get out of Youngblood’s hold.

Richard Parker: It was nearly over. It was nearly over. It was nearly over.

Nick Stuart: I think this match has broken you, Richard.

Richard Parker: I can’t do this anymore. I think I’m going to go home.

Nick Stuart; Sit down!

BY moves to the corner, watching Jiles fight to his feet, and walks up behind him only to be met with an elbow to the jaw from Cancer. Cancer then bounces off the ropes only for Youngblood to connect with a spine buster that shakes the ring. Youngblood begins to drag Jiles up to his feet but Jiles chops Youngblood across the chest, which causes Youngblood to back into the ropes. Jiles rushes at Youngblood only for BY to lift him up and drop him throat first across the top rope. Jiles stumbles around from the shot and gives BY the opening he needs as he connects with a backdrop driver over the top rope and to the outside of the ring.

Richard Parker: YES! HURT HIM BY!

Nick Stuart: Jiles just unceremoniously dumped over the top rope like it was nothing from Youngblood! My goodness, I have no idea how Jiles is going to be able to get up from that.

Richard Parker: That may have been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Nick Stuart: Get a hold of yourself!

Youngblood slowly makes his way to the ring apron as Jiles fights his way to his feet and as Jiles turns towards Youngblood, BY connects with a flying clothesline off the ring apron. Both men crash hard to the mat with Youngblood rolling into the barrier, his left knee smashing hard against it. Youngblood grimaces from the shot, as he tries to pull himself up, and is ginger putting any weight on his leg. Jiles starts to make his way up to his feet, sees the issue that BY is having, and chop blocks BY’s left knee, sending him crashing to the ground. Jiles makes his way up to his feet once again and begins stomping away at BY, each kick stiffer than the last one.

Nick Stuart: And Jiles managing to get the better of Youngblood thanks to a chop block!

Richard Parker: DISQUALIFY HIM REF! GET HIM OUT OF HERE! WHAT A CHEATER!

Nick Stuart: What universe are we in that you’re calling someone a cheater?

Richard Parker: Look, just because every woman I know has cheated on me doesn’t mean I don’t know a cheater when I see one.

Nick Stuart: I don’t know how you live sometimes.

Jiles grabs Youngblood and grabs him by the wrist before he attempts to whip BY into the ring post only for Brandon to reverse it and send Cancer into the ring post face first. Jiles stumbles backwards from the shot into the waiting arms of BY who connects with a German Suplex onto the unforgiving ground. Jiles rolls around, grabbing the back of his head while Youngblood shows the pain his left knee is in before making his way up to his feet. He grabs Jiles and rolls him back into the ring.

Richard Parker: Okay, my neck felt that German Suplex.

Nick Stuart: No kidding, I think Jiles’ eyes rolled in the back of his head after that one.

Richard Parker: That reminds me of one time there were two clowns—

Nick Stuart: No, no, no. We’re not doing that right now. Not in the middle of this match! For the Universal Title!

Youngblood, back in the ring, grabs a rising Jiles, wrapping his arms around his waist. He then hoists Jiles up and connects with a German Suplex, locking his fingers in the process and rolling through it. Youngblood is slow and methodical as he pulls Jiles back up, his eyes large from the sheer power of BY who lifts him up and connects with another German Suplex. Jiles looks out and BY’s face is etched in pain, but he grits through it and pulls Jiles up once again before connecting with a third German Suplex. This one though is bridging, as the referee slides in and goes for the count!

ONE!

TWO!

TH—NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nick Stuart: SO CLOSE! I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT!

Richard Parker: I’m sitting RIGHT here, Nick!

Nick Stuart: Sorry, the intensity of this match has got me amped to another level!

Richard Parker: Well calm it down.

Nick Stuart: Pot, kettle, black.

Both men are slow to their feet, exhaustion showing in their faces, with Youngblood using the ropes to help himself up. He walks around the ring, feeling the tightness in his left knee and the tinge of pain with each step. He looks over at Jiles, who is making his way to his feet, and walks over to him only to be caught with a knee to the midsection from Jiles. Cancer then puts Youngblood into a front face lock and connects with a snap suplex, refuses to let go, and rolls through it before pulling Youngblood up and connects with another snap suplex. Jiles continues to hold through it, rolls over, and lifts BY up once again before going for a third suplex, this time a Fisherman’s Suplex, with the referee sliding in for the count.

ONE!

TWO!

TH—NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Richard Parker: Oh, my heart stopped on that one. Not sure it started.

Nick Stuart: Not sure you ever had one.

Richard Parker: Shut it, Nick!

Nick Stuart: The back and forth action in this match has been tremendous! Both men realize the stakes, they realize what is at hand if one of them can get the better of the other one, and every single fan in this place is on the edge of their seats!

Richard Parker: Who cares, kill Cancer Jiles!

Both men lie in the middle of the ring, absolutely spent and exhausted. Slowly they make their way to their feet, sweat dripping off of them. Jiles fires a fist into the face of Youngblood and rocks the Diamond in the Rough. Youngblood fires back with a knife-edge chop to the already red chest of Jiles. Jiles chops at Youngblood’s throat, dropping the challenger to one knee. Jiles bounces off the ropes and is met with a shoulder tackle from Youngblood, causing Cancer to drape across the top rope. Youngblood grabs Jiles and goes for an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, but Jiles manages to land on his feet, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a beautiful dropkick that sends both men back down to the mat.

Nick Stuart: How did Jiles land on his feet after that overhead belly-to-belly suplex?! My God!

Richard Parker: My HOYT!

Nick Stuart: Not the time, Richard! Both of these men are laying it all out on the line! I can’t believe how far these two men have pushed their bodies!

Jiles manages to make his way up to his feet and walks over to Youngblood, pulls him up to his feet, and is met with an elbow to the side of the head. Youngblood immediately wraps his arms around the waist of Youngblood and applies a bear hug onto him. The meaty arms of Youngblood constrict around Jiles, who squirms and can feel every single muscle in Youngblood’s arms. Jiles slams his fist into the face of Youngblood, but this only enrages Youngblood who begins to rag doll Cancer. Jiles immediately puts both thumbs into the eye sockets of Youngblood, forcing BY to break the hold. BY turns towards Jiles and is met with a superkick. Jiles falls on top of BY and the referee slides in for the count.

ONE!

…

TWO!

…

…

THR— NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Richard Parker: NO! NO! NO!

Nick Stuart: JILES HAD IT! HE HAD IT! AND THEN HE DIDN’T!

Richard Parker: How did Youngblood kick out?!

Nick Stuart: That’s the million dollar question! Oh man!

Richard Parker: I think Jiles can’t begin to believe what just happened.

Nick Stuart: I don’t think anyone in this arena can believe it!

Jiles and Youngblood lie there, Jiles still laying on top of BY, spent. Jiles eventually rolls onto his back and shakes his head. Jiles looks at the referee and rolls out of the ring, his hands on his hips. As he walks around the ring, his eyes land upon the Universal Title and he grabs it, holds onto it, and looks back into the ring. The referee admonishes Jiles, but Cancer ignores it and slides into the ring. He tells the referee to look away as Youngblood rises to his feet. Youngblood turns towards Jiles and Cancer runs full speed at him, title aimed for his head, but BY ducks underneath it. Jiles spins back around and is met with a spear from BY!

Nick Stuart: Jiles went to use the title and it BACKFIRED on him! It gave Youngblood just enough time to recover and Jiles paid the price for it!

Richard Parker: I’m crying actual tears Nick, actual tears!

Nick Stuart: No you’re not! You had your tear ducts sewn up years ago!

Richard Parker: Oh yeah, that’s right. Thanks for reminding me.

Nick Stuart: Can Youngblood capitalize on this? The moment is right THERE for him!

Youngblood sits up and looks next to him to see the Universal Title, the very thing that has fueled him all of these years and he can feel it is in his grasp. He slowly makes his way up to his feet and grabs the belt as he does. He holds onto it, looking at it, before handing it over to the referee. He then turns back to Jiles who is barely sitting up. Youngblood slaps his own chest hard before yanking Jiles up to his feet and connects with a Randallplex, dropping Jiles directly onto his head. Youngblood though yanks Jiles back off of the mat and connects with ANOTHER Randallplex as Jiles eyes roll into the back of his head. Youngblood, for good measure, yanks Jiles up one more time and connects with a THIRD Randallplex before he leaves Jiles body in the middle of the ring.

Youngblood then roars out at the crowd.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Then he goes for the cover.

ONE!

…

…

…

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

…

…

…

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

DING! DING! DING!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Nick Stuart: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!

Richard Parker: OH MY GOODNESS! WE HAVE A NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!

Nick Stuart: THE SOUND IN HERE IS DEAFENING!

Richard Parker: NOW THAT HE HAS WON, I’M OVER IT! SOMEONE GOOD BEAT HIM!

Vince Howard: Your winner… and NEW! UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Vince Howard: BRANDON! YOUNGBLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!