ANNA DANIELS vs. HOYT WILLIAMS
One would think that, if we are coming directly from the back, that if a wrestler is already in the ring, such a talent would be thought poorly of. An indictment if ever there was one. Fodder for a bigger star. Even worse when you’re in the PRIME Hall of Fame, when you’ve been Universal and 5 Star Champion…and all those are beneath your true greatest accomplishment in wrestling, such a moment could be considered scathing.
If you think this?
You don’t know Hoyt Williams.
“Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode continues to drone through the Paycom Center as YOUR Personal Jesus, the Son Of God (no, not that one), Hoyt Williams stands in his element, smiting Oklahomian’s with a televangelist vigor. The scene is so controlled, and the fans are accepting their judgments with glee. That’s why we start in the ring. No, it doesn’t have to do with folks at Ace Network actively wondering, in a place where actual war crimes have been committed, that this is too profane.
Religion always has a way of making you know where your bread is buttered in media.
Richard Parker: It’s just…it’s just so…BEAUTIFUL!
Nick Stuart: What are you…what are you…
Richard Parker: The Imperium Bible! To BE so lucky as to carry it to the ring! Joe Burro is a man of the highest caliber! Moral fiber untold!
Nick Stuart: More so than even your beloved Hoyt Williams, making his grand return to singles competition after over a decade away?
Richard Parker: I said MAN. Not deity. Not Holy Spirit. Fans, if you…if you haven’t gotten the chance to witness Hoyt Williams heal the sick of their perversions…if you haven’t seen him bag and tag sinners before sending them to the depths of Hell…
Hoyt Williams: WHICH IS OKLAHOMA–
It’s almost as if he knew how to time it. A providential gift. Brother Privilege and Brother Hypocrisy stand on the outside, Burro continuing to preen with the Imperium Bible, which Richard is definitely not replaying over and over again.
Richard Parker: I’m just…I’m just…I’M SO EXCITED! HEEEEEEAL ME FROM THE MUNDANE, HOYT!
As the PRIME Hall of Famer does jumping jacks to limber up, all the while continuing his smiting, the lights come up, only for them to quickly fade to black. After a moment, the beginning guitar notes of Solid Space’s “A Darkness In My Soul” begin. Nothing comes on the PRIME*view to note exactly who is coming out, but they know. Suddenly, a spotlight pierces through the dark pointed to the top on the entrance ramp. Anna Daniels stands there, their profile positioned towards the light. They let it wash over them while letting the fans get a good look at the merchandise. Finally, they glance at the ring with a small smirk on their face.
Nick Stuart: Here’s someone many think could rival Hoyt for having their head in the clouds.
Richard Parker: How dare you?! Nobody ascends to the heights of Hoyt!
Nick Stuart: This is the 26th edition of ReVival, here on Ace Network. For all their promise, for all the thoughts of what they were going to accomplish, it hasn’t been since ReVival 12, against The Anglo Luchador, that Anna Daniels has won a match in a PRIME ring.
As The Muse takes their time heading to the ring, they wistfully observe the goings on around them as if getting into a certain type of groove that only they can hear. Their strolling sways almost like their dancing from time to time. Their robe and headpiece–once more regal and dazzling artifacts from their homeplanet–are in various stages of disrepair and utter damage. Anna slaps a hand or two, nods a little to those in attendance.
Vince Howard: And his opponent…from Mount Perdition, Gallifrey! Weighing in at one-hundred and thirty-five pounds…they are the TIIIIIIME LORD…AAAAANNNNAAAAAA! DAAAANNNNIIIIIEEEEEELLLLSSSS!
The set up is what it is. And it is a set up, because, while Daniels goes through their motions in their entrance, they find a slight problem.
Their opponent is done smiting the fans. Now? It is time to smite the Time Lord. They do not even get a chance to disrobe before YOUR Personal Jesus is on the attack, having stopped his jump jacks, walloping into them with a massive lariat.
Nick Stuart: Hoyt out there before the bell even rings!
Richard Parker: Timeliness is next to Hoytliness, Nick.
Trying to spring back to their feet, Daniels is practically ripped from the ramp, and, with all of the Lord’s (not Time Lord, the Time Lord is getting worked by the Abrahamic one at the moment) strength, he slams their head into the barricade, over and over, all before bieling them down the ramp. Caught unawares, Daniels struggles to get up from the vicious early assault, on their knees, throwing fists in the direction of their attacker.
He cuts through this response with a vicious Rapture Chop.
Head Official Timo Bolamba is incensed at the display, his chest perched as he pushes from the top and middle ropes, commanding Williams to stop or he will disqualify him. Hoyt merely puts his hand up, as though doing some cringe variant of “talk to the hand”. Except, this hand means more.
Hand of God (not that one) and all that.
Richard Parker: Bolamba wouldn’t DARE deprive the fans of Hoyt Williams.
Nick Stuart: He’s dangerously close.
It is a nonfactor, as Williams lifts Daniels up before driving them into the ring apron with a powerful thrust. Within moments, he rolls them underneath the bottom rope, following up while Brother Hypocrisy and Brother Privilege jump onto the ring apron, pushing down on the top rope with all their might so as to not give it the privilege (heh) of touching The Holy Balls.
After doing a quick check on Daniels, and getting the gurgled okay from them, Timo calls for the bell, and not a moment too soon.
And we are officially underway, as if we weren’t already.
Nick Stuart: Hoyt Williams giving no quarter here…
Richard Parker: Hesitation is a sin in the ring, Nick. You’d know if you had your own pocket Imperium Bible guide, now available in heathen and non-heathen!
Timo tries to back up Williams as he approaches, but he is unable. Daniel launches themself from the mat toward Hoyt, a forearm driven into the Son of God’s (not that one) stomach. If Santa was jacked and still had full natural hair color, the former Universal Champion’s laugh would be dead ringer for jolly ole Saint Nick. As it stands, Daniels rises, throwing their arms, landing blows amongst blows at the sculpted figure that is the PRIME Hall of Famer. And his response?
Nick Stuart: CLUBBING FOREARM FROM WILLIAMS!
Richard Parker: Donate their brain to the poor!
Nick Stuart: Hoyt jerking Daniels up from the canvas…Lower Wacker Suplex! And COVER!
Richard Parker: A shocking kickout from Daniels! Bucky isn’t getting into Heaven because of that!
Parker is in his element, all as Hoyt grabs hold of Daniels’ neck, snuggly locking in a side headlock. The Muse’s hand reach toward the massive forearm of YOUR Personal Jesus, trying to wrest it free, but finds no quarter. They kick out their legs, trying to maneuver, trying to command their body into some position to get free. But Hoyt remains.
Richard Parker: This might be the first time in wrestling history that a side headlock wins a match.
Nick Stuart: With that size–
Richard Parker: If anyone can do it, Hoyt will!
Sensing the danger, Daniels tries to skirt closer and closer to the ropes, to break the hold. Somehow, they are slippery, able to kick their feet out and tickle the bottom rope, causing Bolamba to come in quickly with a call to break the hold. When Williams does not, he begins his count. Ever the ring general, Hoyt maintains the hold, looking to set Daniels up for something else, bring them to their feet, looking to release the hold at the very last second. With their arms free, they grab at the hair of the PRIME Hall of Famer, jerking downward and sitting out.
Nick Stuart: What a jawbreaker to break the hold!
Richard Parker: That’s not legal! He had to break the hold! You can’t do that while in a professional wrestling hold!
You can, Richard, and Daniels will. Williams hasn’t left his feet, instead, stumbling, grabbing at his bearded jaw, all as The Time Lord, gasps, then gets to their feet, latching onto Hoyt like a parasite, throwing heavy knees into his head over and over and over and over again. Each strike lands with a grunt, a desperation.
But the moment they let go, they charge to the ropes. And as they do? A clobbering lariat blow.
Nick Stuart: These two are throwing kill shots at each other! No sense of self preservation.
Another biel toss is follow by Williams raking his boot across the face of the downed Daniels. The savagery knows no ends, but perhaps his cover will be the saving grace they need to at least not deal with more damage.
Richard Parker: Such defiance!
Dead to rights. Hoyt isn’t playing around. He jerks Daniels up to their feet, all before tucking their head in between his massive thighs.
Richard Parker: CRUCIFIED AND SAVED!
Hoyt goes and looks to lift them up and plant them, but on the lift, Daniels breaks free of his grasp, landing a concussive knee to the bridge of the nose.
Nick Stuart: WHAT A REVERSAL!
Richard Parker: NOOOO! JOE YOUR SAVIOR NEEDS YOUR SACRIFICE!
As Williams grabs at what might be a broken nose, Daniels pops off and hits an Interrobang with Mirko Cro Cop left high kick velocity. The blow snaps the head of Williams to the side, the shot and the cutting of bloodflow causing the Son of God (not that one) to fall to the mat, disoriented. But he still has instincts, pushing his massive paws from the canvas, looking to get back into the fight.
Nick Stuart: ANOTHER INTERROBANG!
This one, with Williams kneeling, isn’t a prayer. The blow isn’t glancing. It fully connects, sounding like the crack of wood. The Time Lord’s ankle might be broken. They have the wherewithal to make the cover.
DING DING DING
Hoyt kicks out, but just too late. Even still, he is still out of sorts, massive arms reaching outward to try and grab The Time Lord to continue the battle. Anna Daniels, for their part, is already making their way away from this mess, eyes following the figures poised to descend upon them.
Vince Howard: YOUR WINNER…BY PINFALL…AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNA! DAAAAAAAAAAAAANIELS!
Nick Stuart: What a brutal exchange!
Richard Parker: THAT WAS A FAST COUNT! HE IS RISEN! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND TIMO! HE IS RISEN AGAIN!
An apoplectic Richard Parker goes on, his microphone being cut off by those within Ace Network production. Before more harm can come to them, Daniels gets out of the ring, as Joe Burro, Brother Privilege, and Brother Hypocrisy look ready to do something heinous. Their chance gone, they go to tend to Williams, who is grabbing at his neck, his chest against the ropes.
Nick Stuart: If that’s what we can look forward to if these two square off, I for one would like to see it again. These two looked ready for an absolute battle!
And as Anna Daniels walks off from their first victory since July, we head elsewhere.