ANY PORT IN THE STORM
The camera follows a man who finds himself with nowhere to go and nothing to do…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Only, nobody wants to see Nate Colton right now.
He’s sitting on a folding chair in the hall, his gear resting on the floor next to him. After his earlier exile from the locker room, he’d been looking for a place to watch the show in peace…and strangely enough, hadn’t found one. While the PPG Paints Arena is full of all kinds of nooks, crannies, and spare rooms…they all seemed to be in use or blocked off tonight.
Damnedest thing.
So now he’s trying to be as out-of-the-way as possible, in a chair and a hallway that nobody is using. If everyone leaves him alone for the rest of the night, that would suit him just fine.
Trouble is, people aren’t going to leave him alone. Certainly not these two Enemigos, who have just appeared on either side of the Next Diamond.
Nate Colton: Yeah? What can I do for you?
Enemigo IV says nothing. XV also says nothing, but he does point at the chair Nate’s sitting on.
He sighs.
Nate Colton: Really, guys? Again? This is the fourth time already.
No response from PRIME’s security team; they just stand there with their arms crossed.
Nate Colton: Fine, if it makes you happy.
He grabs his bag and stands up, allowing IV to fold the chair and carry it away. XV follows, neither Enemigo so much as looking back at Colton.
Have you ever gotten the silent treatment from someone who never talks? It’s weird.
Nate sighs and continues down the hall. Once he arrives at the end of a path, he has to turn to his left. The second he does–
Nate Colton: Oh dear god…
He almost vomits in his mouth.
At first, he narrowly avoids crashing into the person in front of him. He stops dead in his tracks and looks more rattled than before. He glances downwards. Significantly downwards because the person blocking his path is a lot shorter than he is.
That person is Vickie Hall.
Nick Stuart: OH DEAR GOD is right! Get out of there, Nate!
Richard Parker: C’mon. She comes in peace.
Nick Stuart: How could you ever say something so stupid and false?
Vickie stands there, solemnly. Practically expressionless. Ready to explode. Colton braces himself for a world of bullshit to likely be unloaded on him because, after all, he’s aware of Vickie’s detest for him. They’ve had a couple of recent run-ins. One, where Nate tried to politely say no when asked to receive a ‘JOIN THE LOVE CONVOY’ pamphlet/application. Two, when Nate honestly wished Jonathan-Christopher Hall goodluck before his match, since they were passing by each other near gorilla. Vickie did not take kindly to any of it.
PRETTY PINK© continues to stare down Nate Colton, who simply looks more uncomfortable by the minute.
Then.
THEN.
THEN!!!
Vickie smiles the warmest smile she’s ever conveyed and sticks out her hand.
Vickie Hall: Vickie Hall, I believe we’ve gotten off on the wrong track, Nathan. It is Nathan, right? I like the formal names. If my dearest Jonathan-Christopher had his way he would’ve been called JC. He’s not a rapper, he only writes lyrics… am I right or am I right?
Vickie stands on her tippy toes and leans forward, as if she wants Nate to come closer so she can tell him a secret. Extremely reluctantly, Colton does. But it’s not before he looks behind him and wonders if there’s another way he could easily escape without being rude. Suddenly, the PRIME security team doesn’t seem so bad after all.
Vickie Hall: (Whispering) People think my name is Victoria or something but it’s actually just Vickie. Vickie Mae Hall, nee Young.
She slowly rolls back off her tippy toes and stands upright. She gives Colton another look over and tilts her head in sadness.
Vickie Hall: I heard, hun. Totally in on the whole SS shit.
She digs into her pocket and reveals her PRETTY PINK© iPhone 14 PRO, which is nearly as big as her entire body. Vickie opens it with Face ID, smiling from ear-to-ear, a MASSIVE oversmile if anyone is being honest. It’s like a smile out of a horror movie and she’s possessed with demons. Regardless, her phone is loaded to another horror movie… the Savannah Scandal Twitter (or X, whatever it’s called) account.
A frowny face falls upon Vickie.
Vickie Hall: Just awful sauce, isn’t it? And as if that hussie you were dating tossed you to the side because she was in a three-way with Rock Leon and Adam Ellis. Three ways? Never my thing. (Changing focus) My gosh golly have you been pulled through the ringer!
Nate’s eye twitches at the allusion to his ex-girlfriend, and he snarls a bit.
Nick Stuart: That’s NOT exactly what happened!
Richard Parker: SHHHH! Let the rumours spread.
Realizing she’s only making Nate more upset, Vickie clicks her phone closed and throws it into her pink little ensemble quicker than Cecilworth could say a snappy one-word response. It seems to help.
Vickie Hall: Listen, hun, PRETTY PINK© Elephant in the room, I know I’ve had issues with you. But that was before I knew about your broken heart. Also, I dunno why all these boys and girls be messing mad with you, it’s not like you’re directly responsible for the Savannah Scandal Shit.
Vickie looks to her right and then her left, even though to her left is the dead end in the hallway. She never did come across as the brightest…
Her eyes are back at Colton.
Vickie Hall: You don’t have a place to stay?
And then, in the most genuine and realistically grounded voice possible, never witnessed before on a PRIME television, Vickie says…
Vickie Hall: You can stay with us.
Colton stares at her for a moment, while a debate rages inside his head. He knows what Vickie Hall and the Love Convoy are about; the war crimes they committed against Eminence weren’t even a year old. He knows that she is dangerous, and almost certainly insane. He also knows that, as much as it hurt, the others were right to exile him from the locker room. Nate knew what he signed up for when he vouched for Savannah Scandal. This was his burden to carry, his cross to bear.
He just didn’t realize how heavy it would be.
Nate also had to admit that Vickie Hall has a…presence. Especially seeing this side of her, the warmth, the friendliness…after having almost the entire roster turn against him, he needs that more than he realized. An open hand instead of a closed fist, and a moment of solace.
Colton still has that burden to carry, but she makes him feel like it’s okay to just…set it down for a while.
Nate Colton: That…would be nice, actually. Thank you.
Nick Stuart: Wait… what!?
Even Vickie’s expression seems to be taken back. She’s legitimately blushing.
Vickie Hall: Oh this is precious. YOU are precious. We’d love to have you!
And right at the end of her sentence, Jonathan-Christopher Hall and Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy appear behind her, standing side-by-side. It’s like they were in hiding this entire time and came out of nowhere on cue…
Vickie feels their presence, she doesn’t need to look behind her right away. Instead, she simply nods to Colton and without hesitation, she smooth-as-silk spins around, leading the way down the hall. A tentative Colton inadvertently splits the shoulder-to-shoulder stance between JCH and TCG in order to get through. Then the two LOVE CONVOY members drag the tail end.
Colton rubs his hands together, still keeping his guard up while tiny Vickie Hall communicates with him further but doesn’t look behind her shoulder when speaking, she trusts Colton is following.
Vickie Hall: We have quite the little nook.
She says this as the lights get dimmer and dimmer and the corridor smaller and smaller.
Vickie Hall: You’d think Lindsay put us in the boiler room this time.
Colton gives an uneasy laugh while Jonathan-Christopher and Tristan-Crispin chuckle to one another.
Vickie Hall: It pays to be an outcast, honey. (Suddenly extremely cheerful and audible) You get your own space!
They continue walking down the hallway as it grows more evil with each step.
Nick Stuart: I don’t like any of this. It’s a trap. We all saw what the LOVE CONVOY locker room looked like two weeks ago. It was LITTERED with ‘DIE COLTON DIE’!
Richard Parker: And I, for one, am here for it. Savannah Scandal has nothing on Vickie Hall. She has every reason to hate-
Richard’s voice trails when the four-some arrive at a door labeled “LOVE CONVOY”. Vickie stands in front of the entrance, almost like she’s a show girl on The Price is Right. However, there’s a mischievous shifty-eyed glance for a millisecond before Jonathan-Christopher and Tristan-Crispin rub their hands together. But it’s not a tentative rub like Colton…
It’s one that means business.
Nick Stuart: The boys are getting their knuckles warm!
Vickie places her hand on the door.
Vickie Hall: Ready, Nate?
And before Colton can say a word she springs the door open… revealing the locker room!
Nick Stuart: What the!?
Instead of posters with Nate Colton’s eyes scratched out… instead of mugshots cursing his name to death…
There’s a large, colourful banner hanging in the back reading:
“WELCOME NATE!!!11”
There’s also a brand new cardboard Nate Colton with a party hat on and a PRETTY PINK© smile scribbled across his face. There’s other “vandalized” pictures of Colton in action, all of them when he hits his finishing move or is about to score a victory against a PRIME opponent. They are filled with pink tiny bubbly hearts.
In the middle of the room… there’s even a big plate of buffalo wings, with a bottle of ranch dressing nearby.
Nate Colton: Wow, this is…impressive. I don’t know what to say.
Vickie reaches up and out, patting Nate on the shoulder. Again, her voice conveys a sense of chilling honesty.
Vickie Hall: Seriously, I apologize for the issues I had with you. I’ve got no problem with a guy who enjoys wrestling and has a broken heart. You’re welcome to stay with us.
Nick Stuart: Are we in bizarro world? Vickie APOLOGIZED!?
Richard Parker: What a nice gesture. I’ve heard Nate loves buffalo wings.
Colton slowly wanders into the locker room, as Vickie spins back to make eye contact with her ALP and his cousin.
Vickie Hall: I want him to feel comfortable. We owe it to him, okay? It’s tough being black balled from those other awful, AWFUL people.
Jonathan-Christopher and Tristan-Crispin agree, as The Nuzzle Lord gives a hard salute and enters in after Nate.
Tristan-Crispin Gladhappy: Can’t wait to watch the rest of the show, huh? Excited to see that main event! Boy is Cecilworth a cheeky little boy or what?
Jonathan-Christopher Hall: He’s The Best Boy.
Vickie giggles playfully.
Vickie Hall: No honey, that’s you. And Nate Colton is a close second.
Vickie and Jonathan-Christopher follow as the locker room closes and ReVival cuts back to the ringside area for our next match.