BALAAM THE MASK OF MALICE vs. JACOB MEPHISTO
Vince Howard: The following match is one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Nazareth, Pennsylvania and weighing in at two-hundred-and-sixty-five pounds… JACOB! MEPHISTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
”The Dark Horse Always Wins” by Blues Saracino rips through the MGM-Grand Arena as from the back emerges Jacob Mephisto.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: Back to the action here on our first show after Great American Nightmare! Mephisto will be looking for his first victory in PRIME thus far and he will face a significant challenge in Balaam.
Richard Parker: Praise Hoyt.
Nick Stuart: Great insight there from you, Richard.
Richard Parker: What do you want from me?! I’m here, I’m doing my job.
Nick Stuart: That least piece is quite questionable.
Mephisto enters the ring, cracking his neck from side to side before walking over to his corner while Elvis Nixon checks him over.
Vince Howard: And his opponent… hailing from Prospect Heights, Illinois and weighing in at three-hundred-and-forty-five pounds… BALAAM! THE MASK OF MALICE!
“Possum Kingdom” by The Toadies plays as Balaam enters through the crowd while the Faithful scamper away in fear. He is held back by a chain attached to his nose controlled by the Harbinger of Malice. In the ring, Joe Burro holds “The Good Book” aloft.
Nick Stuart: You know that Balaam will be looking for revenge after losing coming up unsuccessful for a shot at the Five Star Title in his match at Great American Nightmare.
Richard Parker: Definitely. Balaam is going to look to murder Mephisto and I’m here for it.
Nick Stuart: Lovely.
Richard Parker: I seemingly can’t make you happy today.
Nick Stuart: Just… watch the match.
Balaam enters the ring as Elvis Nixon looks at him from a distance and slowly nods his head. He then looks at both wrestlers and signals for the bell.
DING DING
As the bell rings, Mephisto rushes Balaam and slams his shoulder into his chest, sending both men into the closest corner. Mephisto immediately slams his knee into Balaam’s midsection and with him doubled over, he clubs his forearm across his opponent’s back. Balaam stumbles out of the corner as Mephisto bounces off the ropes and connects with a stiff clothesline, though Balaam remains on his feet. Mephisto bounces off the ropes again and connects with another stiff clothesline, but Balaam remains on both feet. Jacob bounces off the ropes again and goes for a flying crossbody only for the monster to catch him in mid-air and lifts him up over his head and drops him to the mat behind him.
Richard Parker: There you go, Balaam! That’s what you have to do.
Nick Stuart: Would you like to be down there, managing him?
Richard Parker: Why would I do that? He’s already got Burro and Hoyt in his corner!
Nick Stuart: Anyways… Mephisto comes out looking to catch Balaam off guard and it looked like it was going to work, but Balaam is a freak of nature. Mephisto is going to have to be smart in this match and pick his opportunities or Balaam will wear him down in a hurry.
Balaam shakes off the effects of Mephisto’s early onslaught and walks over to Jacob, begins to pull him up, and is met with a back elbow for his troubles. With Balaam covering his face, Mephisto flies off the ropes once again and nails a chop block that drops Balaam down to one knee. Jacob then rushes off the ropes and connects with a running knee to Balaam’s skull. Balaam drops to both knees from the shot and Mephisto rises to his feet once again, looking at the monster and shakes his head. This time, Mephisto bounces off the ropes, this time from behind Balaam, and connects with a running knee to the back of his skull which finally sends the big man crashing to the mat.
Nick Stuart: And Mephisto FINALLY gets the big man down. Balaam is a problem for anyone he steps into the ring with and Mephisto is ensuring he doesn’t give Balaam a moment to breathe.
Richard Parker: I don’t know. You keep doing this and all you’re going to do is wake the giant and that is one giant you don’t want to piss off.
Nick Stuart: And what would you want Mephisto to do?
Richard Parker: Just lay down and take the loss. It’s okay. He’s used to it by now.
Nick Stuart: I hope Mephisto chokes you in your sleep.
Mephisto mounts Balaam and begins to wail away at him with fist after fist until Balaam pushes him away. Mephisto rushes back at Balaam and is met with a boot to the midsection from his opponent. Balaam rolls onto his knees and catches Balaam with a stiff jab to the jaw. The shot rocks Mephisto and drops him to one knee. Balaam yanks Mephisto back up to his feet and whips him into the opposite corner before connecting with a running back elbow on the prone opponent. Mephisto manages to remain on his feet and Balaam connects with a knife-edge chop that causes clear pain as it is etched on Jacob’s face. Balaam pushes him back into the corner and connects with another knife-edge chop that forces Jacob out of the corner, clutching his chest in the process.
Richard Parker: Don’t worry, Mephisto, your heart skipping a beat is part of the pain.
Nick Stuart: You can see the pain etched in his face there as Balaam uses his raw strength and perverse desire to dish out pain on Mephisto.
Richard Parker: Nothing perverse about it. Don’t kink shame!
Nick Stuart: sighs
Balaam follows after Mephisto, grabbing the back of his head, and goes to slam it across the top turnbuckle, but Jacob manages to get his foot up to block it. He then slams his elbow into Balaam’s midsection and switches position, slamming Balaam’s head into the top turnbuckle. Balaam though seems unfazed as he turns around on Mephisto and roars at him. Jacob quickly slams his thumb into Balaam’s left eye, causing Elvis Nixon to admonish him. Mephisto brushes him off and Balaam wraps his hand around Mephisto’s throat before lifting him into the air and chokeslamming him onto the mat.
Nick Stuart: And Balaam letting Mephisto have it right there! Man, that isn’t going to feel good.
Richard Parker: Jacob is going to need a spine adjustment after that. Good thing I know a guy.
Nick Stuart: Look, if it’s that guy over on Mulholland, that guy doesn’t do spine adjustments!
Richard Parker: Sure he does! I just told him not to give you one.
Nick Stuart: Ass.
Both men start to stir as Nixon continues to check on both me. Balaam is the first one back up to his feet and walks over to Jacob, who is on both knees, and lifts him off of the mat and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline on Mephisto, but he ducks under it and turns around only for Mephisto to connect with a spear that sends both men crashing back to the mat. Mephisto wastes no time as he gets back up to his feet and bounces off the ropes before attempting a leg drop only for Balaam to roll out of the way. Balaam connects with a European Uppercut across the jaw of Mephisto, sending him into the ropes, and Jacob fires back with spinning back elbow that drops Balaam to one knee. Mephisto then bounces off the ropes only for Balaam to explode from one knee into a spine buster on Mephisto! He then goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nick Stuart: And Balaam NEARLY got the victory there.
Richard Parker: Someone check Nixon’s reaction speed. I think he was about a second slower there getting into position.
Nick Stuart: Oh knock it off.
Richard Parker: I’m just saying, when’s the last time he had a physical?
Nick Stuart: Look, you’ve never been physical a day in your life. Rich of you to talk about someone else.
Richard Parker: Ouch. I have feelings, you know.
Balaam makes his way up to his feet and watches as Mephisto sits up, feeling the pain in his ribs. Balaam walks over and grabs Jacob by the back of his neck and whips him into the ropes before connecting with a boot to the face of his opponent. Mephisto rolls onto his knees after hitting the mat and as Balaam comes over to attack once again, Jacob pulls him into an inside cradle as Nixon begins his count.
ONE
TWO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nick Stuart: And Mephisto almost got one over on Balaam!
Richard Parker: Not even close.
Nick Stuart: Are you even watching the match?
Richard Parker: Absolutely not.
Both men make it back to their feet and Mephisto yanks Balaam towards him and connects with a short arm clothesline! Balaam stumbles backwards from the shot and Jacob rushes at him only for Balaam to send him over the top rope and to the outside. Mephisto lands hard on the outside as Balaam begins to make his way over to him. Nixon orders Balaam not to do so and Balaam shoves him out of the way. Mephisto begins to make his way up to his feet and Balaam yanks down to pull him back into the ring only for Mephisto to spit a black mist into his eyes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Parker: WHAT WAS THAT?! CHEATER CHEATER!
Nick Stuart: Mephisto timed it just right and sprayed the black mist into the eyes of Balaam!
Richard Parker: Elvis— you fell asleep on the job!
Nick Stuart: Fell asleep? Balaam pushed him away!
Richard Parker: And Nixon flew back like he hasn’t worked out a day in his life.
Nick Stuart: Go away.
Mephisto wipes away the liquid from his mouth and rolls back into the ring. Balaam wipes at his eyes furiously, but Mephisto is quick on the draw as he hoists Balaam onto his shoulders and goes from the fireman’s carry into a lungblower!
Nick Stuart: MEMENTO MORIS!
Richard Parker: Someone stop this. This isn’t happening.
Nick Stuart: Mephisto might have this one in the bag.
Richard Parker: I might need to throw up in a bag.
With Balaam on the mat, Mephisto goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
THREE
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winner… JACOB! MEPHISTO!
Nick Stuart: And Mephisto gets his first victory in PRIME!
Richard Parker: By cheating.
Nick Stuart: That should win your seal of approval.
Richard Parker: Well, it doesn’t!
Mephisto rises to his feet and Nixon walks over to hoist his arm in victory, but Jacob snatches his arm away. He walks around the ring, with his own arms raised as he yells out at the crowd.
Nick Stuart: I would get out of that ring if I was Jacob or else Balaam is going to come back and get him.
Richard Parker: As he should!
Nick Stuart: And Mephisto is out of the ring as Balaam sits up and that looks like a man who is ready to murder.
Richard Parker: Get him, Balaam! Murder him!
Nick Stuart: Alright, buddy, time for your medication.
Mephisto walks up the ramp, his arms over his head as he looks down at Balaam, cackling in Balaam’s misery before he disappears backstage and we cut to the backstage area for more hijinks that only the PRIME roster can provide.