
BUCKLE UP
We’re backstage with Matt Mills.
Matt Mills: Matt Mills here, and I’m waiting on the Dangerous Mix, who requested some mic time tonight after a hard-fought ma—
Unceremoniously, David Fox stalks his way onscreen, with his Kaiju of a tag team partner Mushigihara flanking.
David Fox: Uhhh, hey, Matt, could you do me a favor?
The most jarring thing right now is that Fox doesn’t seem to be “on,” for lack of a better word. Almost as if he were talking off-script.
David Fox: I got a lot on my mind and I kinda want to just let it out in one shot, you know? Could you just give the mic and take a quick break, let me take it from here?
Matt is visibly confused.
Matt Mills: You sure, man, you just wanna cut loose?
David nods. After a pause, Matt shrugs his shoulders and hands David the mic, after which David shakes the reporter’s hand before sending him off for a breather.
David Fox: Appreciate ya, pal, thanks, man. MASTERS OF THE MULTIVERSE, WE’RE GONNA PUT A STOP TO THIS!
The sudden swing in the Soul Survivor’s mood even startles Mushi, who takes a step back as he stares in shock.
David Fox: You… step in the ring with us at Great American Nightmare, only for one of you cowards to run and hide in a broom closet the second anyone tries to fight you, and THEN spend the past MONTH, taking POTSHOTS at us through your ridiculous blender commercials…
The talker of the Dangerous Mix now looks up at us behind the camera, eyes aglow in fury.
David Fox: …knowing that the very second either me or Mushigihara here got our hands on you, you’d be eating your meals through a tube for a long time?
David shakes his head and subconsciously switches the mic to his other hand.
David Fox: Where I come from, boys, you don’t make fun of someone from afar after you survived an encounter with them, MUCH less by the skin of your teeth like you boys did. Nah-ah. We don’t play that game back home, and I’ll be damned if Mushi and I gonna let you play it here in PRIME!
Mushigihara: OSU!
David Fox: Your cute little infomercial gag was funny the first time, but now that you kept going and going… and decided to lay down a challenge for UltraViolence?
Fox chuckles and forms a smirk on his face.
David Fox: Well, guess what, boys! WE ACCEPT!
The crowd can be heard cheering the announcement in the arena. David simply nods, as if he can hear them.
David Fox: Because you see, we’re gonna give you a proper up-close and personal demonstration on what a REAL Dangerous Mix is, and we’re not gonna give you another chance to run and hide like before. And I don’t care if you’re the B-Team, the A-Team… hell, you can come to the ring with Howlin’ Mad Murdock and B.A. Baracus for all I care, because ain’t nooooo universe where you stand a chance against me and Mushi.
Mushigihara: OSU!
David Fox: Buckle up, boys. The ride gets scary from here.
David absentmindedly hands the mic off away from him, before realizing Matt Mills isn’t around, still.
David Fox: Huh. Where’d he go?
Cut.