CECILWORTH FARTHINGTON vs. ADAM ELLIS
Garrett Biggs’ “Mama Didn’t Raise No…” plays over the sound system and on the video screen, a video plays showing a series of wrestling trophies on a dresser next to an old high school football uniform that has ‘Ellis’ on the back.
An acoustic guitar plays and the vocals begin.
♫♪Mama didn’t raise no… quitter- guaranteed to get the job done.♫♪
Dawn McGill comes out first from the back. She stands at six feet tall plus heels on the stage dressed in a black halter top, black wrestling shorts, and a pair of knee-high black boots. She also wields a Singapore cane in her right hand.
Richard Parker: Wait a minute!
Nick Stuart: What?
Richard Parker: I know her.
♫♪“She didn’t raise no SOB who that can’t back himself up – been known to throw a good punch.”♫♪
The video screen shows a series of action shots of Ellis from his various matches
Richard Parker: She’s that Sunshine God’s valet from the PWA show who ended up on top of the broadcast desk right in front of me wearing this skimpy golden, one-piece, strapless mini-dress.Richard looks up into the rafters.
Richard Parker: Thank you Hoyt!
♫♪And this ol’ boy gets going when the going gets tough- sundown to sun up♫♪
Nick Stuart: And your point would be?
Richard Parker: She’s coming out with Ellis tonight? No Ginny Van Lear at ringside?
Adam Ellis comes out next.
Nick Stuart: I guess not.
Ellis is wearing a pair of plain blue wrestling shorts…
♫♪Need a man with a helping hand – he’s always got one to lend♫♪
…and joins up with McGill as the chorus and full instrumentation hits- complete with pyro.
♫♪Oh, I might be a little rough around the edges♫♪
McGill starts forward down the ramp towards the ring followed by Ellis.
♫♪From the outside lookin’ in it might seem helpless♫♪
When they reach the ring, Adam holds the ropes open so Dawn can slide through.
♫♪I’ve been blessed with a strong backbone – I never coulda made it on my own♫♪
Then Adam joins her in the ring…
♫♪But if there’s one thing that I know – Momma didn’t raise no…♫♪
… and climbs up the top turnbuckle, raising up his arms.
Richard Parker: I wouldn’t want my wife ringside while Farthington was out here either. I couldn’t even be mad if she went home with him.
The arena slowly begins to darken, as the opening moments of “Choke” by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me begin to slowly reverberate.
Nick Stuart: Wha…?
Richard Parker: Listen… we’re about to experience a legend, the greatest WRESTLER to walk the hallowed halls, the greatest man who has ever stepped foot in a wrestling ring. We’re about to experience…
♫♪Stop
Drop
and drag me into place
and lock the fire escapes
I’ll break your pretty face♫♪
Richard Parker: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS~!
As the riff reaches it’s peak, the whole crowd is awakened with bright lights shining down upon them as out from backstage steps Lord Cecilworth Farthington.The camera quickly zooms into the self-assured smile that’s cracked upon the face of The Fiancier as he swaggers down to the right, both arms inserted into the pockets of a plain black hoodie. The jovial face of Farthington doesn’t entire match his purposeful march to the ring, his shoulders swaying to the tune of “Choke”.
Nick Stuart: He is pretty impressive…
Richard Parker: PRETTY IMPRESSIVE!?
His hands never leave the pockets as he slowly rolls under the bottom rope and leaps up into the ring. He slowly raises his left arm up into the sky and gives the crowd a cheeky little wave as he takes his place resting against the ring corner.
Nick Stuart: This is the man you are infatuated with though…
Richard Parker: You just don’t get it yet…
Timo finishes checking over Farthington and calls for the bell.
DING DING
Farthington begins to circle the ring, like a lion in a Roman gladiatorial game. The former Finish Line of High Octane Wrestling snarls but Adam Ellis ignores it, he takes a deep breath, preparing himself, and finally the two men collide. Collar and elbow tie up, Farthington reverses into a hammerlock, Ellis flips the script with an arm wrench and a hammerlock of his own. Farthington pulls Ellis’ arm down, behind him, and steps backwards through the hammerlock. Ellis drops the hand but Farthington retains wrist control, he slips out the back door to Adam’s right and twists Ellis’ arm as he does it, locking in a hammerlock of his own once again.
Nick Stuart: This is…
Richard Parker: The guy can fucking wrestle, Nick.
Ellis fires off an elbow, but Farthington is able to shift his body to the other side so the blow barely grazes his shoulder. Cecilworth wrenches on the arm of Ellis, snarling. Farthington stands on his tiptoes to apply more pressure onto Ellis’ arm. Adam tries to turn to his left, but Farthington follows him, Cecilworth tries to slide a leg over Adam’s right hip, but Ellis keeps moving causing Farthington to abandon the attempt and slide with him. Ellis rapidly turns the other direction, he grabs Cecilworth’s heel and yanks it out from under him, sending him down to the mat.
Nick Stuart: But Adam Ellis was trained by The Gold Standard, John Sektor, a technician in his own right, and he’s showing he has the chops to hang with Farthington tonight.
Ellis spins around and falls forward, bringing with him a huge forearm smash across the bridge of Farthington’s nose. Farthington is shocked, but Ellis keeps throwing. Right hand, left hand, the entire time Farthington is putting his defense together. His arms stay up high, and Ellis has to devote his left arm to pulling hands away while Cecilworth’s legs go to work, wrapping Ellis up in a guard.
Nick Stuart: Farthington looks to be in trouble.
Richard Parker: He’s working Ellis right where he…
Farthington reaches up and grabs the back of Ellis’ neck, pulling him in close, while making sure to leave a shoulder off of the mat. Ellis, the much bigger man, is able to slip a hand in between the two heads and pushes Farthington to the ground, and postures up. He unloads a right hand that connects, but Farthington grabs him again. Ellis tries the same thing for a second time, but Farthington is a wizard of a man. His hips rotate like lightning and he flips Ellis completely over, almost locking in an arm bar but Ellis’ leg lands on the rope.
Richard Parker: Right where he wanted him, Nick. That’s why Farthington is so dangerous in that ring. He can rip your momentum away at any moment.
Nick Stuart: That was impressive.
Ellis gets to his feet, while Farthington stares back at him. As the two step back to opposite sides of the ring Farthington is clearly shouting “Worthless.” Ellis looks to his manager and nods as McGill is shouting instruction to him from the outside. The look on his face says it all, he knows how close he was to being finished.
Farthington and Ellis begin to circle, this time some hand fighting occurs as Ellis keeps trying to slap Farthington’s hand out of his face. Finally Farthington has had enough with the grappling, and when Ellis tries to move Farthington’s hand, Cecilworth strikes. A knee is buried into Adam’s midsection in an instant. As Ellis crumples, an open left hand fires forward and connects with Adam’s jaw, sending phlegm flying to ringside. Ellis stumbles backwards, but The Financier is relentless, and comes in with a European uppercut that sends Adam into the ropes.
Nick Stuart: Big european uppercut by Farthington.
Richard Parker: He’s a killer. A murderer. Literal murderer.
Ellis comes off the ropes trying to regain some momentum and whips a big lariat at Farthington. But Cecilworth ducks under, and Ellis takes off sprinting across the ring.
Richard Parker: That’s right, run away!
Ellis hits the ropes and comes back with a head of steam. Cecilworth looks for a drop toe hold and Adam leaps over the rolling Farthington. Ellis stops on a dime and spins himself around bringing a big forearm with him, Farthington turns just enough to get caught across the jaw with the forearm. Cecilworth staggers back, Ellis comes forward with another forearm but Farthington catches him with a european uppercut.
Nick Stuart: Looks like these two are at a standstill!
Ellis throws a forearm, it smashes into Farthington. Cecilworth unloads an uppercut, the two trade eye watering shots as they march towards the center of the ring. Another forearm, another uppercut, another forearm, another uppercut, then finally, a forearm staggers Farthington back. Ellis loads up a second, but Farthington cuts him off with a kick to the stomach. Ellis doubles over, and Farthington wraps his arm around Ellis’ head and yanks back, smashing him to the canvas with a DDT. Farthington with a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: Big DDT from Farthington there, but kick out by Ellis.
Farthington shoots up to his feet and brings Ellis with him. He grabs the man in a front face lock and tries to yank him over the top for a snap suplex. But Adam Ellis doesn’t budge. Farthington fires an elbow to the midsection of Ellis and tries again, but Adam doesn’t move an inch. Farthington tries once more, but Ellis fires an elbow into Farthington’s midsection this time. Ellis snaps Farthington over his head and sends the Financier to the canvas.
Nick Stuart: Great wrestling by Ellis.
Richard Parker: Yeah… yeah…
Adam Ellis gets to his feet and drags Farthington up with him. Ellis fires off a right hand, then another. Cecilworth shoves Ellis away, but Ellis comes back in with a superkick to Farthington’s jaw that floors the Financier. Ellis scrambles on top of Farthington and hooks both legs.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: Farthington’s turn to kick out. Great superkick by Ellis.
Richard Parker: His wife probably taught him that.
Ellis is hard at work, getting back to his feet and dragging Farthington up with him. He grabs Farthington for another suplex, but Farthington steps through and wraps his arms around Ellis’ waist. Ellis, recognizing the danger, immediately breaks Farthington’s grip, and grabs a reversal of his own. His hands wrap around Farthington’s waist, and he yanks Cecilworth up over his head and plants him to the canvas with a german suplex. Ellis slams the mat and jumps up to his feet, absolutely roaring.
Nick Stuart: Cinderella is getting some momentum!
Richard Parker: IT’S MIDNIGHT SOMEWHERE! GET UP CECILWORTH!
Ellis isn’t done. He grabs Farthington by the back of his tights, and drags him up to his feet. He grabs Farthington around the waist, and german suplexes Farthington to the mat for a second time.
Nick Stuart: He looks like Brandon Youngblood out there!
Richard Parker: SHUT UP NICK!
Ellis bridges.
ONE!
TWO!
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KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: I thought he had him!
Richard Parker: I SAID SHUT UP NICK!
Ellis jumps to his feet, and marches over to the downed Farthington. He reaches down and pulls him up again. Farthington turns around and sends a right hand across Ellis’ face. Ellis feigns a kick and launches into the air for a superman punch. Farthington manages to get out of the way and it sends Ellis awkwardly landing, trying to find his feet. Farthington rushes over and kicks Adam Ellis in the back of the knee, sending him down to a knee. Ellis tries to turn around, but Farthington brings down a 12-6 elbow across Ellis’ shoulder. He pushes Adam’s head to the side and brings another, then another, then another.
Richard Parker: YJASHKDFAKJLSHD!!!!!!
Nick Stuart: What the hell did you just say?
Richard Parker: YESSSSS!! I’M SO EXCITED!
The Financier snarls, throwing Adam Ellis into the corner. He backs away, then comes running forward, driving a boot across the center of Ellis’ chest.
Richard Parker: PENALTY KICK!
Nick Stuart: You could hear that one in the nosebleeds.
Farthington backs up again. He comes sprinting forward for a second time and once again levels Ellis across the chest with a second penalty kick.
Richard Parker: He’s scoring more penalties than we scored at the World Cup!
Nick Stuart: That’s not that hard to do, Richard…
Farthington grins, pleased with himself. He grabs Ellis by the hair and starts to pull him up to his feet. He gets Ellis to his knees, but Ellis swats his hand away. The Financier fires off a boot to Ellis’ midsection. Then one to the side of the ribs.
Richard Parker: DO WHAT HE SAYS!
Farthington drags Ellis to his feet and slaps him in the face. Ellis stumbles backwards, but Farthington grabs him by the back of the head and fires off a second slap. Ellis once again stumbles backwards, his back touches the turnbuckle, and he throws himself forward smashing Farthington with a right hand. Cecilworth is appalled, stunned, and very, very angry. He pulls back and drives a forearm of his own to Ellis’ neck. Adam grimaces, and Farthington drives another knee into Ellis’ midsection.
Nick Stuart: Adam Ellis sure has a lot of fight.
Richard Parker: Yeah, yeah… tough kid… get him his flowers.
Farthington grabs Ellis in a front face lock again, and this time flips him over before he can react, snap suplexing him to the canvas. Farthington doesn’t let go, and rolls to his feet, this time hooking Ellis’ leg. He snaps him over again, driving the back of his skull into the canvas with a Fisherman’s buster. Farthington maintains the bridge as Timo slides in.
Richard Parker: It’s a Fisherman’s Buster, Buster!
Nick Stuart: I already hate this so much.
ONE!
TWO!
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KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: That was close!
Richard Parker: Let’s get it over with!
Farthington gets to his feet, slowly, calmly. He drags Ellis up to a seated position. He slips his arms around Ellis’ neck, but just as Adam feels himself being grabbed, he leaps to his feet and out of Farthington’s grasp. Ellis scrambles to the ropes, but Farthington leaps up onto his back. Pulling him down like a lioness yanks a young zebra down in the serengeti. Ellis falls backwards, landing on Farthington. He bridges up, trying to pin Farthington to the ground. Farthington takes the opportunity to slip his forearm in under Adam’s chin.
Nick Stuart: Pin attempt by Ellis!
Richard Parker: FARTHINGTON IS GOING TO TURN HIS LIGHTS OUT!
ONE!
TWO!
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Farthington yanks Ellis over, just in time. Flattening Ellis out on the mat at the same time. Timo checks with Ellis, asking him if he wants to quit. Ellis shakes his head, shouting no.
Richard Parker: QUIT KID! QUIT! OR DON’T! IT’LL ALL BE OVER SOON!
Nick Stuart: Adam Ellis isn’t quitting.
Ellis looks up at the ropes and tries to get an arm under him, but Farthington slides his leg up Adam’s side, and pins the arm underneath him. Ellis falls to the mat chin first. Farthington, with a hook in, yanks back on Ellis’ head as hard as he can. Timo looks at Ellis, who just shakes his head no. Mama didn’t raise no quitter.
Richard Parker: HE’S OUT! HE’S OUT!
The second shake of the head, Ellis’ head slumps down and Timo dives in, trying to pull Farthington off of Ellis. He calls for the bell, and finally Farthington lets go as Adam Ellis slumps to the canvas.
DING DING DING
Nick Stuart: That might have been too much, Richard.
Richard Parker: I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP! GOODNIGHT ADAM ELLIS! GOOD FUCKING NIGHT!
Farthington stomps away from Ellis, and raises his hands in the air.
Vince Howard: Your winner by referee’s stoppage… CECILWORTH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTHINGTON!
Richard Parker: This is what everyone in the back is in for with Farthington on the roster! This is for what they did to Phil! This is for ALL OF US!
Nick Stuart: Adam Ellis wrestled the match of his life out here, and all you can talk about is Phil Atken. Incredible ring work from Cecilworth Farthington tonight, but Adam Ellis put on a hell of a show.
Richard Parker: Adam Ellis is trained by like three different World Champions. Of course he’s a great wrestler. But they all go to sleep Nick, they all go to sleep.
With a victorious Cecilworth Farthington standing with his arm raised in the middle of the ring, and a Dawn McGill helping Adam Ellis back to his feet, our scene, much like Adam at the end of the match.
We slowly fade to black.
And stay there for a moment.
Before we fade back in, to the backstage area. Where we hear a familiar southern drawl.