CERTIFICATION
Back from commercial, the video screen comes on and we see Ginny Van Lear and Adam Ellis inside Adam’s Volkswagen Jetta driving into Dallas.
Ginny Van Lear: There it is.
The State of Texas sign came into view.
Ginny Van Lear: I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Adam placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
Adam Ellis: You’ll be fine. I know you’ll pass the test with flying colors.
The test?
The State of Texas Shotgun Certification test
Ginny and Adam are met at the entrance by a deputy sheriff and he explains the test to Ginny.
Deputy Sheriff: The test is simple. Shoot the bad guys. Don’t shoot the good guys.
When he finishes, she nods nervously and steps up to the firing line.
Deputy Sheriff: Alright, let’s begin.
Ginny takes a deep breath and tries to calm her racing heart. She’s trained for this day and was determined to make it count. She gives Adam one final loving glance and then turns back and raises her shotgun up to take aim. Ginny moves cautiously down the hallway, her body tense and gun at the ready.
A cardboard cut-out of a bad guy suddenly pops out into the open. Ginny snaps to attention, heart pounding in her chest. She holds her breath and steadies the gun. Ginny centers the target in the sight of her weapon and pulled the trigger without hesitation blowing a jagged, round hole in the cardboard bad guy.
Ginny allows herself a satisfied smirk before she continues forward.
The next cardboard figure emerges from the shadows. Ginny stares down the figure before her. It’s a mother pushing a baby cart. Ginny breathes and the tension drains from her body as she releases the breath she had been holding, and continues
Next, another bad guy pops out… *KA-BLAM*
Walking past the target, another target appears immediately. Ginny notices his familiar figure.
Ginny Van Lear: Adam?
Not quite. It’s a cardboard cut-out of Adam. Finger twitching on the trigger, Ginny again does not shoot.
Another cardboard bad guy pops out… *KA-BLAM*. Ginny fires her shotgun with precision as she hits another bullseye.
Ginny continues to move cautiously through the course. The next target? A cardboard floating balloon with the logo of a sponsor on it. She smirks…
Ginny Van Lear: Nope. Learned my lesson’ there.
…and moves on to the next target, eyes are cold and focused, her eyebrows knit together with concentration. She places a steady hand on her gun and keeps both eyes open through the whole ordeal.
Another target… *KA-BLAM*. The cardboard bad guy bites it with a big hole in the center of it. Ginny keeps moving forward as another cardboard cut-out appeared in front of her… Vickie Hall.
Ginny’s finger twitches as she despises Vickie with every fiber of her being. But Ginny knew she couldn’t give in to this anger and she holds her fire.
The next target is easy. Cardboard bad guy… *KA-BLAM*.
Then… a cardboard cut-out of the rest of the Love Convoy. Ginny blinks her eyes and holds her fire again. “This has got to be over soon,” she thinks to herself, stepping forward past the cardboard Love Convoy.
Next target- cardboard Cancer Jiles… *KA-BLAM*
Somewhere, Richard Parker is going, “YES!”
But the one after that… well… it would prove to be the strongest test of Ginny’s resolve so far. Ginny’s heart leapt into her throat.
Ginny Van Lear: Her.
Sunny O’Callahan. The woman who flashed Adam in the ring last weekend and caused him to lose to ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson in Dallas. She gripped the gun tightly in her hands, but remembers the deputy’s instructions.
“Shoot the bad guys. Don’t shoot the good guys.”
She swears up a storm in her head… apologizes to God… swallows her pride… and walks right past the cardboard cut-out of Sunny.
The Deputy: You did it!
Ginny exhales, relieved that this is over.
The Deputy: Congratulations! Miss Van Lear, you’ve passed the test with flying colors.
The Deputy hands her the signed certification.
Ginny Van Lear: Thank you. Does this mean we’are done testing now?
The Deputy: Yes.
Ginny Van Lear: Good.
She hands Adam the shotgun.
Adam Ellis: Ginny?
Ginny takes off towards the cardboard cut-out targets, wheels around, and hits a picture-perfect spinning heel kick that takes cardboard Vickie Hall’s head off.
Adam Ellis: Um Ginny.
Ginny then goes up the cardboard cutout of the Love Convoy and kicks the crap out of it leaving it in tattered pieces.
Adam Ellis: Ginny.
She then goes up to cardboard Cancer Jiles and delivers a front kick to his cardboard balls. Adam even blanches at that one.
Again, somewhere Richard Parker is shouting “THANK YOU HOYT!”
Adam Ellis: Ginny!
Adam takes action before she reaches the cardboard Sunny O’Callahan.
Adam Ellis: Time to go.
He grabs Ginny from behind…
Ginny Van Lear: HEY!
…and lifts her in the air.
Ginny Van Lear: PUT ME DOWN!
Ginny kicks out trying to get loose as a red-faced Adam carries her towards the exit of the testing station.
Ginny Van Lear: PUT ME DOWN!
An apologetic Adam walks past the Deputy as he walks past holding Ginny, frantically kicking and scratching, with one arm and her shotgun in the other.
Ginny Van Lear: LET ME GO, ADAM- OW!
Adam accidently bumps Ginny’s head on the door frame as he makes hastes from the building to their car.
Adam Ellis: Sorry.
Ginny Van Lear: LET ME GO DAMMIT!… sorry Lord… LET ME GO!
We then cut to… things are going to happen that we apologize for now about.