CHANDLER TSONDA VS. DAYTONA DIAMONDS
Vince Howard: The following match is one fall and is a second-round Almasy Tournament match!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: Our co-main event of the evening and it is a doozy.
Richard Parker: LET’S GO, RHINESTONE COWBOY!
Nick Stuart: …why are you like this?
Richard Parker: BECAUSE HE’S THE RHINESTONE COWBOY!
Vince Howard: Introducing first…
…and, well, then Daytona stumbles out from behind the curtain.
He looks mad as hell. Veins bulging on his (hatless) forehead, face gone red, cursing and spitting as he looks over his shoulder at the curtain. He stands there at the top of the ramp for an uncomfortably long time, stomping his feet and shouting intelligible gibberish. It would be embarrassing, if he had any shame at all.
Boos. Just tons of boos. By now, his music has played to the very end, fading out to uncomfortable silence. Finally, thankfully, Daytona shouts out one more profanity-laden insult in Ami Troy’s general direction before making his way towards the ring, clearly flustered.
Vince Howard: Making his way to the ring… weighing in at two hundred and forty-five pounds… hailing from Carson City, Nevada… THE RHINESTONE COWBOY, DAAAAAYTONA DIIIIIAMONDS!
Daytona climbs the ring steps, already trying to take off his jacket, but getting tangled in the process. When he finally pulls it off, he chucks it out towards the ramp, pacing the ring like a rabid dog.
No fancy lights.
No fancy pyro.
No fancy poses.
Daytona walks over to his corner, pushing his hair back away from his eyes. With no hat to place on top of it, the turnbuckle remains bare. He turns his attention towards the entrance, grinding his teeth and still muttering curse words beneath his breath.
Nick Stuart: Diamonds doesn’t have an owl permanently attached to his head, so it appears that he has made it through Lindsay Troy largely unscathed.
Richard Parker: Troy knows MONEY when she sees it. Daytona Diamonds is MONEY!
Nick Stuart: Well, he’s going to have a hell of a challenge in front of him, squaring off against the Numbers Don’t Lie champion, Chandler Tsonda.
Richard Parker: Meh. Tsonda is washed. Daytona is going to take his spot in the third round, take that Golden Ticket that gets him a title shot for the NDL title — dumb name — and take Tsonda’s lunch to boot.
Nick Stuart: You won’t find two hotter wrestlers right now, as both men are riding strong winning streaks — Diamonds hasn’t even lost yet.
Richard Parker: YEAH BABY!
Vince Howard: And his opponent…
“I said ‘kiss me, you’re beautiful’
These are truly the last days'”
The weathered voice from the beginning of Godspeed You! Black Emperor’s “Dead Flag Blues” fades into the short acoustic section that begins Coheed & Cambria’s “Welcome Home.” After twelve seconds, the guitars thunder in and start to kick ass, as gold and green pyro goes off in perfect timing with the power riffs.
Vince Howard: Weighing in at 187… svelte… pounds and standing at an… illustrious… inch short of six feet… he hails from San Diego, California via Hanoi, Vietnam! He is the NUMBERS! DON’T! LIE! CHAMPION! CHANDLER! TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOONNNNNNNNNNNNNDAAA!
As the PRIME*View displays the words “Model Citizen” in white over a black background, Tsonda swaggers out from behind the curtain. He soaks up the fan’s reaction at the top of the ramp, smirk painted across his face. And amidst the haze of pyro, smoke, and green & gold lights, he sprints to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope, and finally acknowledges Daytona Diamonds. Tsonda bounces on his toes, mouthing something that’s inaudible to anyone but him.
Nick Stuart: You can see the focus that Chandler Tsonda has; he looks like Tsonda of 2008. He’s locked in, and he sees his goal on the horizon.
Richard Parker: He’s about to enter a mid-day showdown with a cowboy; Tsonda better make sure his focus is on the gunslinger in front of him.
Nick Stuart: Okay, this is borderline ridiculous.
Tsonda hands over his title belt and bounces off the balls of his feet, getting his body ready for the upcoming battle. Elvis takes the title and hands it to the ringkeeper and signals for the start of the match.
DING DING
Both men circle one another, cautious, before Chandler goes in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Daytona slips behind him and puts him into a rear waistlock. Tsonda immediately fires off a series of back elbows that catch Diamonds flush across the jaw, loosening his grip on the NDL champion. Chandler spins around and connects with a Northern Lights Suplex, bridging it to get the early pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: Tsonda getting the best of Daytona right there.
Richard Parker: The best of him? Ha! Daytona is simply feeling out Chandler. This is far from over.
Nick Stuart: Didn’t say it was over, just that Daytona is facing a higher caliber of talent, and he will need to stay on top of the ball. That Northern Lights Suplex is about as crisp as we’ve seen.
Richard Parker: Pish posh, get your head out of your ass.
Both men return to their feet quickly, and Tsonda is met with a forearm shot across the jaw from the Rhinestone Cowboy.
CRACK!
The shot backs Chandler up into the ropes. Diamonds races towards Chandler, looking for a clothesline, but the Model Citizen dips his shoulder down and sends him over the top rope. Daytona manages to land on the ring apron, but as he gets up to his feet, Tsonda springboards off the middle ropes and connects with a dropkick that sends Diamonds spilling to the floor.
Nick Stuart: The match not quite starting off the way that Diamonds wanted it to. This could be dangerous for Daytona if he finds himself too far in the hole.
Richard Parker: (mocking) If he finds himself too far in the hole. {His usual self} Come off it, Nick. You’re hating on Daytona because you’re in the pocket of the Troy empire.
Nick Stuart: Empire? How much time are you spending with Crash Jackson?
Richard Parker: That’s slander and I will sue.
Nick Stuart: You are in a mood today.
Daytona makes his way to his feet, shaking his head in the process, while Chandler sizes up his opponent. Diamonds turns towards the ring and sees Chandler bouncing off the ropes. Diamonds rushes into the ring as Tsonda grabs the top rope closest to him and launches himself over the top rope. Tsonda, with the agility that would make a twenty-year-old jealous, changes his mind in mid-air and lands on the ring apron. Diamonds bounces off the ropes, though, and connects with a stiff forearm to the face of the NDL Champion, which sends him crashing to the floor mat.
Richard Parker: YEAH BABY!
Nick Stuart: Aren’t you supposed to be neutral?
Richard Parker: When has that ever been the case?
Nick Stuart: Fair point as Tsonda is smarting after that last shot. He doesn’t want to take too many of those from the… Rhinestone Cowboy.
Richard Parker: Look at you, getting in line with me! Welcome to the bandwagon!
Nick Stuart: That is not what’s happening.
Diamonds slips through the ropes and connects with a boot to the face of Tsonda, who is trying to get to his feet after his body collides with the ringside barricade. Chandler rolls away from Daytona, who senses blood in the water and slams his forearm across the back of Tsonda’s neck. The Model Citizen collapses onto the mat, clutching at his neck, as Diamonds reaches down and pulls Tsonda to his feet before sending him careening into the ringside barricade with an Irish Whip. Tsonda’s body collides with the barricade, and the impact sends him face-first into the floor mat.
Richard Parker: Take that, Chandler! Daytona Diamonds can match you any day of the week.
Nick Stuart: …do you have money on Diamonds? Is that what’s going on?
Richard Parker: Why would you even suggest such a thing?! And do you want in on the action?
Nick Stuart: Deplorable. Meanwhile, Elvis is in the middle of his count and the two competitors better get back in the ring, or else this will be a kerfuffle.
FIVE!
As Elvis begins to count six, Diamonds grabs Tsonda and rolls him back into the ring. As Chandler starts to rise, Diamonds grabs him and pushes him into the corner before connecting with a knife-edge chop that rings throughout the arena. With Tsonda dazed, Daytona connects with a European Uppercut that sends spittle flying from the mouth of the NDL Champion.
The Model Citizen stumbles out of the corner as Diamonds stalks him before putting him into a rear waistlock. He goes for a German Suplex, but Tsonda manages to wrap his leg around Datyona’s leg, blocking the suplex attempt. Daytona unloads with a series of forearm strikes to the back of the neck, dropping Chandler to one knee.
Diamonds then reaches down and hoists him up to his feet before lifting him up for a German Suplex. Chandler, though, manages to land on his feet and immediately connects with a dropkick between Diamonds’ shoulder blades, sending him face-first into the corner!
Nick Stuart: And Tsonda with the much-needed counter to keep Diamonds from gathering too much momentum.
Richard Parker: Hijinks! Cheating! This is disgusting behavior from a champion in PRIME.
Nick Stuart: Please keep that energy when Ivan returns for the main event.
Richard Parker: He’s a different case.
Nick Stuart: How so?
Richard Parker: He’s scary!
Tsonda grabs Diamonds by the right heel and drags him out of the corner before bending his leg at the knee, yanking up as hard as he can, and then driving Daytona’s knee into the canvas.
CRACK!
The Rhinestone Cowboy rolls under the bottom rope, flexing his leg in the process. He places his boot on the mat, and as he tries to take a step, he collapses onto the floor. Elvis Nixon orders Tsonda back and slides under the bottom rope, checking on Daytona Diamonds, who is pointing at his knee and shaking his head from the obvious pain he is in.
Richard Parker: Can you believe this?! BAN CHANDLER TSONDA! I can’t believe some of his reputation is even ALLOWED in PRIME!
Nick Stuart: …this can’t be real.
Richard Parker: You question a man that just had his leg bashed in by Tsonda recklessly?! I can’t believe you. Diamonds might be seriously injured!
Nick Stuart: No, your reaction.
Richard Parker: I’m SHOCKED!
Chandler steps out of the ring as Daytona tries to pick himself back up but collapses onto the mat. Nixon orders Tsonda to stay back, but Chandler sidesteps him and tries to help Daytona up to his feet, only for Diamonds to grab him around the waist and launch him forward into the ringside barricade. Diamonds gets back up to his, clearly fine, before driving his forearm into the neck and shoulders of the NDL Champion. He then yanks Chandler from the barricade and connects with a single under-hook suplex into the ring post.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CRACK!
Nick Stuart: What about your hero now? Faking an injury! I should have doubted he was actually injured.
Richard Parker: He is a GENIUS! Just because you can’t understand the depths of his thought process doesn’t mean you should slag him. Come on, you’re better than this!
Nick Stuart: And you’re good with the suplex into the ring post?
Richard Parker: Of course I am! That’s fair game.
Nick Stuart: Alright then.
Diamonds rolls back into the ring and Nixon restarts his count.
ONE!
TWO!
Daytona dances around momentarily as Chandler is laid out outside the ring, barely moving.
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
As Nixon reaches the six count, Tsonda makes his way to his knees, clearly dazed.
SEVEN!
As Nixon reaches the eight count, Chandler slides underneath the bottom rope. Daytona immediately plants his boot into the back of Tsonda’s skull before yanking him off the mat and whipping him into the ropes before dropping him in the center of the ring with a sidewalk slam. Daytona makes his way up to his feet and begins mocking the crowd.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Diamonds struts around the ring before turning his attention to a slowly rising Tsonda. Daytona plants his boot into the ribcage of the Model Citizen, dropping him onto his mat wincing in pain. Diamonds bounce off the ropes and plant an elbow across the sternum of Tsonda, driving Tsonda onto his stomach. The Rhinestone Cowboy goes for a second elbow, but he hits the canvas instead as Tsonda rolls away and underneath the bottom rope.
Chandler makes his way up to his feet as Daytona stumbles back to his feet. The Model Citizen then springboards off the top rope and connects with a springboard dropkick that sends Diamonds skirting across the ring.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: Tsonda getting the pendulum to swing back on his side.
Richard Parker: How can you take his side in all of this?!
Nick Stuart: There are no sides, Richard. Though, I think the fans appreciated the springboard dropkick to Diamonds.
Richard Parker: They’re biased; you can’t take their opinion into things!
Daytona makes his way back up to his feet and is met with the right shoulder of the NDL Champion into his gut, driving him into the corner. Diamonds immediately retaliates with a series of forearm strikes across the back of the Model Citizen. Chandler isn’t fazed, though, as he drives his shoulder into Diamonds’ midsection again, driving the air out of him. He then plants his boot into Daytona’s midsection, doubling him over before connecting with a stalling lift implant DDT. He then rolls over and hooks the leg for the pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!
THR– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: Tsonda hits the Golgotha Drop, and it is almost enough to put Diamonds away!
Richard Parker: Not even close. He’s saving his energy. The longer he can rest, the stronger he will be towards the end of the match.
Nick Stuart: …do you even believe what you’re saying?
Richard Parker: Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?
Chandler drags Daytona into the center of the ring before bouncing off the ropes and dropping a leg across the throat of his opponent. Daytona rolls over onto his knees, grabbing at his throat. Tsonda drives his knee into the side of Diamonds before driving his forearm into the back of his neck. Tsonda pulls Daytona to his feet and whips him into the ropes before stopping him in his tracks with a spinning back elbow that dazes Daytona. Diamonds stumbles backward and uses the middle rope to propel him forward before launching himself at Tsonda with a rebound lariat.
Richard Parker: SIX SHOOTER! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, NICK?!
Nick Stuart: You are insufferable. Both of these warriors are trading blows back and forth and the fans are eating it up every step of the way.
Richard Parker: It just shows how much Diamonds is able to elevate everyone’s game when they’re in the ring.
Nick Stuart: …what?!
Tsonda pushes himself up to his knees slowly, shaking the cobwebs free. Daytona then whips his body around the NDL Champion and scoops him into a pin but only gets a two-count. Both men rush to their feet, with Tsonda narrowly dodging a clothesline as he runs to the ropes, springboards off the middle rope, and looks for a springboard crossbody, except Diamonds counters with a dropkick to the midsection. Chandler drops like a bag of weights from the sky and lands on the canvas. Daytona grabs the legs of Tsonda and immediately puts him into a Texas Cloverleaf.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Parker: CHANDLER TSONDA IS GOING TO TAP! THIS IS GLORIOUS!
Nick Stuart: You have gone way around the bend. The counter from Diamonds there was massive in giving him the opening to lock in the Texas Cloverleaf. You have to imagine that Diamonds has researched Tsonda and is aware of the back issues the NDL Champion has had in his career.
Richard Parker: He’s going to put Tsonda on the shelf! I can’t believe it!
Nick Stuart: Okay, calm down over there.
Chandler claws at the mat, trying to find traction to push himself towards the ropes. Elvis Nixon checks on Tsonda, asking if he wants to submit, but Tsonda refuses, shaking his head. Daytona wrenches back, causing Chandler to grimace in pain as he can feel the shooting pains through his shaky back. Tsonda drives his forearms into the mat and drags himself a few inches closer to the ropes, but Diamonds loosens the hold slightly and re-centers Tsonda in the ring before tightening the hold.
TSON-DA!
TSON-DA!
TSON-DA!
Tsonda slams his hand into the mat but refuses to tap as he drags his body again towards the ropes. Daytona once again loosens the hold to re-center Tsonda, but as he does, Tsonda uses his legs to push Daytona toward Chandler’s head, and Tsonda manages to flip himself over in the process. Chandler blocks a kick and connects with a superkick of his own, with both men falling to the mat. Chandler’s body lands on Daytona, and Elvis begins the count!
ONE!
TWO!
TH– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: Tsonda almost managed to get the victory right then and there! Diamonds just got his shoulder up in the nick of time!
Richard Parker: You mean Chandler almost stole the victory from Diamonds. What is Nixon doing counting in a situation like that? That was accidental! I’m going to log a complaint with Timo after this match!
Nick Stuart: Well, you have fun with that.
Both men are slow to their feet, with Diamonds connecting with a knife-edge chop when they reach a vertical base.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tsonda stumbles backward, rubbing his chest in the process, before firing off a forearm strike to the face of the Rhinestone Cowboy.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Daytona’s knees buckle slightly, but he remains standing before firing back with a second knife-edge chop.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tsonda roars in fury as he goes for another forearm strike, but Diamonds manages to block it. He then grabs Tsonda’s forearm and whips him into the corner hard, causing Tsonda to slide into a sitting position as he grabs his back.
CRACK!
Diamonds takes the opening as he rushes at Tsonda and connects with the running basement dropkick (Boot Scootin’ Boogie). He then drags Tsonda out of the corner and goes for the cover (gets 2.5).
ONE!
TWO!
THR– NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Richard Parker: WHAT KIND OF COUNTING IS THAT?! ARE WE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
Nick Stuart: Wow. Let’s calm it down over there. The Boot Scootin’ Boogie hit to perfection, but wasn’t enough to keep Tsonda down.
Richard Parker: Because his hand RPMs weren’t fast enough! He’s not meeting the standard industry.
Nick Stuart: What are you talking about?
Richard Parker: If Diamonds loses this match, I will file this with the commission and demand a hearing.
Nick Stuart: …alright then.
Tsonda struggles to his feet, his body drained. Diamonds watches as he does so, sizes him up, and explodes out of the corner, where he connects with a lariat on the Model Citizen. At least he does, as he connects with Tsonda’s neck, but the NDL Champion uses Diamond’s arm as a bar and flips around it before spiking Diamonds on the mat with a DDT! Tsonda makes his way up to his feet, grabbing his lower back, before dragging Diamonds to his feet and connecting with a forearm strike that sends Daytona falling between the ropes and landing on the ring apron.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nick Stuart: These two men are beaten and battered! They’re giving it everything they can!
Richard Parker: Chandler should be out of this match. That back of his could easily be something that Elvis ends the match over. Nixon is being derelict in his duties.
Nick Stuart: I hope Elvis slaps the taste out of his mouth.
Richard Parker: I’d like to see him try.
Chandler watches as Diamonds rises to his feet, a bit dazed. Tsonda sizes Diamonds up and grabs the top rope, looking to slingshot himself over it, but Diamonds slams his elbow into the left leg of the Model Citizen, causing Chandler to jump backward and land on the mat. Tsonda grimaces a bit, shaking his left leg a bit. Diamonds tries to re-enter the ring, but Tsonda catches him with a running knee to the jaw, which sends Diamonds back onto the ring apron on his knees. He rubs his jaw a bit as he makes his way back up to his feet. Chandler times it again and slingshots himself over the top rope, and connects with a spiking DDT on the ring apron!
CRACK!
Nick Stuart: What a MOVE from Tsonda! My goodness, Diamonds might be done after that DDT onto the ring apron.
Richard Parker: What an ILLEGAL manuever! Using the ring apron like that is despicable! That should be treated like a foreign object.
Nick Stuart: It’s part of the ring.
Richard Parker: SO?!
Both men lay on the floor mats, Diamonds looking completely out of it, and Chandler wondering why he does the things that he does. Tsonda slowly moves up to his feet, hearing Elvis’ count but ignoring it. He grabs Diamonds and rolls him under the bottom rope. Chandler slowly climbs to the top turnbuckle and watches as Daytona pushes himself up to his feet. As he turns towards Tsonda, the NDL Champion soars through the air and goes for a flying crossbody. Diamonds though, acts out of instinct and drags Nixon in front of him!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: Oh come on! What is your excuse for this?!
Richard Parker: I saw a snake about to bite Nixon’s foot. Daytona was simply saving his life.
Nick Stuart: And where is said snake?
Richard Parker: Clearly, gone!
Nick Stuart: Well, now Elvis is knocked out.
Richard Parker: A small price to pay for living!
Tsonda checks on Elvis while Diamonds rolls out of the ring and slips under the ring, looking for something. He re-emerges with the steel chain wrapped around his hand.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nick Stuart: What the hell?!
Richard Parker: He must have seen the snake again! Stop jumping to conclusions, Nick. It might just happen to be on the back of Tsonda’s neck or skull.
Nick Stuart: Likely story.
He slips back in under the bottom rope and cocks his hand back, ready to blast Tsonda in the back of the skull. He pauses, though, and looks at his hand. Diamonds shakes his head and unravels the chain, throwing it back outside of the ring.
Richard Parker: NO! YOU FOOL! What are you doing?!
Nick Stuart: Seems like he’s thinking against knocking out that snake.
Richard Parker: The snake is Chandler Tsonda, you fool!
Nick Stuart: Oh, I’m so surprised.
As he does, Tsonda turns around, sees the chain in Daytona’s hand, and races forward before connecting with the turnbuckle forward somersault three-quarter facelock jawbreaker (Runway Vault). Elvis comes to as Tsonda covers Diamonds.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Richard Parker: This is the worst day of my life.
Nick Stuart: I feel like you say that every show.
Richard Parker: And this time, I mean it!
Vince Howard: Your winner… and advancing to the next round of the Almasy Tournament… CHANDLER! TSSSSSSSOOOOOOONNNNNDAAAAAAAAAA!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Chandler rises to his feet and Elvis grabs his hand, slowly, and raises it in victory as Diamonds is laid out on the mat.
Nick Stuart: A tough match for both men, but Tsonda pulls out the victory here tonight.
Richard Parker: Yay.
Nick Stuart: And he will face off against Coral Avalon, who won his match earlier tonight. That should be one exhilarating match.
Richard Parker: Cool.
Nick Stuart: Well, while Richard tries to pull himself back together, let’s head backstage.
We then cut to said backstage area.