Fade-in from black…
Alex Steel strains to carry a heavy box labeled “STORE STUFF” backstage. As she does, a narrator begins to speak, much to her bewilderment.
“The PRIMEPORIUM has new merch of all of your favorite wrestlers! Check out prime-wrestling.com/shop!”
Alex looks around, looking over the long, oblong box held to her torso.
Alex Steel: Wassat? Hello? Is someone there? Could you help me?
“Introducing our new T-Shirt stock!”
Alex sets the box down, and suddenly, her shirt changes in an instant, replaced by a Brandon Youngblood shirt featuring the wrestler and a stylized font. She’s horrified by this.
“Get shirts featuring all your favorite wrestlers today!”
Alex screams and panics, running away, but the camera follows her in a long tracking shot through the backstage. As she runs through a hallway, she passes numerous backstage staff wearing new merch of wrestlers such as Ria Lockhart, the Kings of Popsicles, and Hayes Hanlon, shuffling about.
“For just 30 dollars, get three shirts today by using the checkout code ReVival!” The narrator continued. Alex ducks into a room and closes the door, bracing against it, her shoulders square with a new poster of The Anglo Luchador.
Outside the room, the commercial narrator continues, muted and muffled by the door and wall. The doorknob shakes, and to Alex’s fright, a replica championship title is shoved under the door between her feet. After a moment of silence, Alex turns to open the door, and she’s buried under a mountain of shirts and various Funko! Pops.
The narration grows louder as the disembodied voice comes closer.
“The PRIMEPORIUM! Number One By Definition!”
Fade to black…