COMMERCIAL: THE MADHOUSE
A barren, desolate landscape. A tumbleweed slowly drifting across the ground.
A voiceover.
“Once upon a time in the West…”
Shapes rise out of the distance. As the camera zooms in, those shapes slowly turn into old wooden buildings.
“Fighters were invited to partake in an event that happened once a year, but somehow also once in a lifetime…”
The camera zooms in more rapidly now, and we soon find ourselves in the middle of a ghost town. We pass a livery, a general store, a jail, before finally arriving at the saloon. The shot closes in, but cuts to black as soon as it reaches the swinging doors.
“They came from everywhere. Wrestlers of all kinds…”
We see a brief but unfocused shot of in-ring action, as two competitors desperately try to gain the advantage over each other.
“The Good…”
Still shots of various wrestlers fade in and out. “Hot Buttered” Leroy Scrumptious. Ria Lockhart. Melissa Talamantez.
“The Bad…”
More stills fade in and out. “Wrigleyville’s Finest” Johnny Dorn. Quinn Fleetwood. Ivan Stanislav.
“And the Ugly…”
Still shot of “Rotten” T.J. Ratigan.
“Some would ride lonesome…
Powerslam Anubis strides in slow motion to the ring, his jackal head mask striking fear into opponents and small children.
“Others formed a wild bunch…”
The Ironhearts stand together in the ring, daring anyone to challenge them.
“Ready to show some true grit…”
Action footage of Roosevelt Black, “Cowboy” Jimmy Donovan, and Andrew “Can’t Miss” Mitchell.
“Prepared to commit sins that will remain unforgiven…”
Was…was that a bicycle?
“And for what? Fame? Glory? The sheer challenge?”
Surf Express Bro share a high five after an intense victory. Hambone Parkinson threatens a customer with a spatula. Jezebel Jinx stands with her back to the camera, then looks over her shoulder and winks.
“Yeah. All of those things…and a fistful of dollars.”
The Robber Barons twirl their mustaches and laugh. Garry “Ray-Ray” Bolamba sends another text to his Uncle TAL.
“They will be coming to the Madhouse, and–”
The screen fades to black, but the final words appear on the screen as they are spoken, in big scary letters.
HELL’S
COMIN’
WITH ‘EM
Finally, a nifty graphic explaining just what the hell this is all about.
THE MADHOUSE
Presents
FISTFIGHT AT HIGH NOON:
THE BAR ROOM BRAWL BATTLE ROYAL
April 28, 2023
The Wild West Gets Weird
