CORAL AVALON vs. EDDIE CROSS
Green Screen.
Match Start in 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…
3…
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– Eliminate Other Players –
ISIS (ADHD) by Joyner Lucas ft Logic begins, and the arena lights focus on the entry.
One time for them prayin’ on my downfall (Yeah)
Two times for the homies in the chow hall (Whoa)
Three times for them hoes on the internet
Shittin’ on me when they really should get out more
Four times for the days I would hold back (Woo!)
Five times for the bitches who ain’t called back (Yeah)
Six times for the kids like me who got ADHD just to (Brap, brap, brap)
As Joyner Lucas rhymes Eddie “N1ghtCraw1er” Cross steps out of the back. He adjusts his custom gaming glasses before walking down the ramp focused on the ring. He pauses at the ring steps, taking off his backpack, unzipping the main compartment, and placing it in the corner of the ring. He waits for the transition between Joyner and Logic’s verse before psyching himself up. Vince Howard is waiting.
Vince Howard: From Detroit, Michigan by way of Orlando, Florida, standing six feet four inches and weighing in at 225 lbs, EDDIE “N1GHTCRAW1ER” CROSS!!!
Eddie sets his glasses down in the corner, runs up the ring steps, wipes his feet on the apron, and enters the ring as Logic spits his hook.
Me and Joyner need a couple hearses (Woo!)
Double homicide, kill the beat and the verses
Everybody livin’ on the surface
But we came from the underground, yeah, we deserve it
Eddie rolls his neck and prepares for the match.
There’s no preamble with Coral Avalon’s entrance like there usually is.
The guitar part of Monster Siren’s “Real Me” hits, and Coral walks out through billowing smoke that barely reaches him before he’s marching past it. The battle standard he carries with him is a simple green flag with two words written in a white pixelated font: “GAME OVER”.
Vince Howard: His opponent… from Seattle, Washington… weighing in tonight at two hundred and fourteen pounds… COOOOOOOOORAAAAALLLLL AVALOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
Avalon placed his flag against the corner and pulled the cloak from his shoulders before he even entered the ring. He’s all business, even more than he usually is, as he hops onto the apron and steps into the ring. He doesn’t even bother with the hand sign this time, and instead stands in his corner and waits for the bell to sound.
Nick Stuart: That’s an unusual lack of ceremony out of Coral Avalon tonight.
Richard Parker: I don’t like the look in that man’s eyes, Nick. That’s a man who’s got places to be, and they all go through Eddie tonight.
DING DING
The bell is already ringing by the time that Eddie Cross gets situated in the corner, looking to the spot where his mentor usually stands, but tonight David Gibson is absent. Though Eddie’s had a few matches under his belt and has been training with every gym he feels he can learn from there are still wrinkles to iron out of his game. One of those is situational awareness, and it’s a lesson he learns quickly. Coral Avalon sprints across the ring the moment the bell sounds, blasting Cross with a running European uppercut that sends the young man flying back into the corner.
Richard Parker: Remember those places I said Avalon needed to be? Apparently they all involve punching.
Avalon fires a volley of additional uppercuts in the corner, the first few landing before Cross is able to get his arms up to defend himself.
Nick Stuart: This is aggression we haven’t seen out of Coral Avalon since returning to PRIME, Richard. And if he’s not careful here he might find himself on the way to DQ City.
Richard Parker: Not DQ City, that’s where they make the Blizzards!
Nick Stuart: …what?
Sure enough, Elvis Nixon has made his way into the heart of the fracas to break things up by administering the dreaded five-count. It doesn’t take Avalon long to break, and he backs out of the corner with his hands up to signal his compliance. Nixon checks on Cross to make sure he can continue. EC offers a nod, and pushes his way out of the corner.
He’s caught immediately by a charging Avalon. The Rhongomyniad, the First Armament, lands flush across Eddie Cross’ jaw and sends the N1ghtcraw1er to the outside.
That’s two impossible words in one sentence. I hate both of you for this, but not as much as I hate myself for typing them instead of copy-pasting.
Nick Stuart: Eddie Cross sent to the outside! And here’s Elvis Nixon with the admonishment.
Richard Parker: Oh man, I hope Cross can find a way to reset to the last save before he walked into an angry man’s punchy-kicky fiesta.
Nick Stuart: The last save?
Richard Parker: I said what I said, Nick.
Nick Stuart: So this is what tonight’s going to be like. Cool.
Nixon tries to convince Avalon to allow Cross back into the ring, but the Crownless King isn’t having it. Whatever bee snuck its way into his bonnet is buzzing up a storm. Also who’s wearing a bonnet in the year of our lord 2023?
Nick Stuart: Avalon through the ropes to the outside, and – OH!
Richard Parker: Smart play by Cross!
As Avalon steps through the ropes, Cross grabs him by the foot and pulls it to the side, throwing Coral off his balance and sending him crashing back first into the hard edge of the ring apron.
Richard Parker: Does that count as a wallhack? You know, because the side of the ring is kinda like a half wall?
Nick Stuart: I don’t even know what you’re saying right now.
With the tide in his favor and his opponent working to recover, Cross picks his target and drives a hard kick into Avalon’s left hard, jamming it between his foot and the side of the ring. When Coral tries to draw it in close to his body, Cross yanks it away and slams the arm down on the ring apron.
Nick Stuart: That’s the same arm that was injured over the break by – and I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud…
Nick sighs.
Nick Stuart: The Crimson Miracle Bloody Blood Death Homicycle.
Richard Parker: Damn. And I thought I was clever naming my first car “Bernice”.
Referee Elvis Nixon leans his head through the ropes and barks at both men to get back inside or he’s going to start counting, which is the same move a parent might employ when their child is misbehaving (hi). It goes about as well.
Richard Parker: No, seriously. Who named that bicycle, and how many drugs were they on? Because I thought drugs were illegal in Japan. Like, big illegal.
Cross pulls Avalon over to the ring steps, and then slams his arm down on top of the unforgiving steel. He follows it up quickly ascending the stairs, making sure to stomp down on Avalon’s elbow on the way. Now it’s Cross’ turn to receive a little admonishment from Elvis Nixon. EC puts his hands up to protest his innocence, then balls them into fists and extends his pinkies. He brings his hands together in the sign of the Crownless Kingdom, and then makes a show of snapping the gesture in half. The response from the crowd is predictable.
BOOOOOOOO!!
As Avalon rolls under the bottom rope, he’s met by a series of aggressive stomps. He draws Coral up and brings him right back to the canvas with a snap suplex. A cover with his forearm pressed against Avalon’s face only gets a one count.
Nick Stuart: Cross trying to press the advantage, Richard, and you have to wonder what he learned about his opponent tonight from David Gibson. Our fans may not be aware of this, but after stepping away from the ring “the King of Old School” did play-by-play commentary for Sin City Championship Wrestling, and called what many people thought might be Coral Avalon’s last match.
Richard Parker: Yeah, but he was still wearing the sex mask back then.
Nick Stuart: He was… what? Dave Gibson never…
Richard Parker: No, the blackberry thing.
Nick Stuart: I do not want to know what you get up to in your free time, Richard.
Cross doesn’t relent, and tries to trap Avalon’s left arm coming out of the pinfall attempt. Before he can lock in any potential submission or even get a solid grip he’s met with an upkick to the chin that forces him back a few steps. The Crownless Kick rises to his feet and snaps off a kick to Cross’ thigh. Cross staggers, and then moves in, but the slight shift in balance gives Avalon enough time to get behind EC and snake one arm in the process. A half-nelson backbreaker connects, but instead of letting Cross fall, Avalon pushes him back up vertically and snaps him back down with a lungblower.
Richard Parker: I doubt we’ll be seeing that on any montages.
Nick Stuart: Don’t you mean highlight reels?
Richard Parker: Nope! It’s all about the montages, baby. Three-sixty YY no-scope! BxR! DE Dust 2!
Nick Stuart: Did you just Google all of those?
There’s the sound of a phone falling onto the announce desk.
Richard Parker: I have no idea what you’re talking about. (under his breath) Like and subscribe.
Avalon’s assault doesn’t end there. Cross rolls onto his stomach and tries to get to his feet, but his feet are suddenly yanked out from underneath him.
Nick Stuart: Wheelbarrow suplex by Coral Avalon!
Richard Parker: Uh oh, I think his stamina gauge is starting to refill.
Nick Stuart: What is with you tonight?!
Richard Parker: Oh, I’m sorry. I guess SOMEONE at the table never played a little thing called Elden Ring.
The artist formerly known as Baron Von Blackberry (it’s totally a sex mask, you guys) heads right for the corner, stepping through the ropes and ascending to the top buckle. He takes a quick moment to shake a bit more feeling back into his left arm, and then he lets fly with a frog splash.
Richard Parker: I guess Nick Stuart is too good to wander The Lands Between, huh? What’s a’ matter, Nick? You don’t want to be the Elden Lord?
Nick Stuart: I genuinely do not know what you’re talking about.
Richard Parker: My man over here talking about frog splashes and King Arthur’s Rhongonocerouses and he probably doesn’t even know how to refill an Estus Flask.
Wrong game, Richard.
Yeah, so anyway… That frog splash? It lands, but it only manages a two count before Cross is able to get his shoulder up. Avalon gets to his feet and brings Cross with him, but a back elbow to the ribs gives Cross a brief opening. He once again gets his hands on Avalon’s left arm, leads with his shoulder and steps in before taking Avalon down with a seoi nage.
Nick Stuart: A little judo out of Eddie Cross. We’ve heard that he’s been venturing to different gyms and schools across the world as of late. Might be where he picked this up.
Without letting go of wrist control, Cross rolls through the hold and uses his momentum to pull Avalon up with him. A Russian leg sweep sends both men down to the canvas as well, and once again Cross doesn’t let go. He tries to bring Coral up again, and this time Avalon doesn’t fight it. It’s a subtle trick, but Cross had been expecting resistance, so he has to adjust his balance to keep from toppling backwards. The trap is sprung. Avalon pulls in the opposite direction and uses Cross’ own weight shift against him, bringing him down into a triangle choke.
Richard Parker: Oh! Did he just frame cancel, and…
Nick Stuart: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Cross struggles against the move, trying to fight it with his free hand.
Nick Stuart: Well regardless of what my partner just said, Coral Avalon just managed to use Eddie Cross’ own weight against him, and now Nightcrawler…
Richard Parker: I know you didn’t say that with the ones in it.
Nick Stuart: …finds himself in a tough spot.
Richard Parker: You have to say it with the ones in it. I can tell the difference.
Things that Eddie Cross has working against him right now – he’s currently trapped in a submission hold by a man with almost two decades more experience than he has.
Things that Eddie Cross has going for him right now – hey, look at that. Those ropes are awfully close, and not in the way that would get him a rope break.
With the referee too preoccupied in checking the submission hold, Cross is able to swing both of his feet up onto the top rope to get some extra leverage. This forces Avalon back onto his shoulders, and shifts the move from a straight submission into something Elvis Nixon actually has to count.
1
Richard Parker: Coral’s shoulders are down!
2
Nick Stuart: But Cross’ feet are on the ropes!
3-NO!
At the last moment Coral breaks the hold, letting Cross tumble to the mat and freeing himself of the rope-aided pinning predicament.
Cross tries to plead his case, but to no avail. Meanwhile, his opponent has moved to a nearby corner and is already on his feet. No sooner does Elvis Nixon very calmly and politely explain that he counted correctly, does Eddie Cross turn around. What he sees is a close-up of the bottom of Coral Avalon’s foot for the second time this match.
The First Armament.
No, I’m not typing the name again.
Nick Stuart: Rhongomyniad!
Goddammit, Nick, I just said I wasn’t typing it again!
This time, there are no ropes for Cross to escape through. Avalon pulls Cross into a seated position and hits the ropes behind him. Where one armament lands, a second is usually sure to follow.
Nick Stuart: Secace!
A diving European uppercut lands across the back of Eddie’s head, and the lights in the Cross house go dark.
1
Richard Parker: And you said I was the one who didn’t make sense!
2
Nick Stuart: That’s got to be it!
3!!!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: The winner of this match… CORAAAAAAAAAAAAL AVALOOOOOOON!!
Avalon is already out of the ring before Vince has even finished saying his name. Apparently New Orleans is not somewhere he wants to be right now.
Nick Stuart: Fans, make sure to stay tuned, because we’ll be back with more action right after this!