DARIN ZION vs. DAVID FOX
Nick Stuart: We’ve got a real clash of styles in the following contest, ladies and gentlemen! The technician Darin Zion of the Love Convoy meets the strong striker David Fox of Dangerous Mix in singles competition!
Richard Parker: No partners?
Nick Stuart: No, partner.
Richard Parker: Care to make a wager on how many times either of them go to the corner for a tag?
Nick Stuart: …even though I know that’s easy money, I’m going to have to pass. In any case, I will say that Zion is no stranger to being on his own while his allies in Jonathan-Christopher and Vickie Hall are out on another of their romantic excursions, but it will be interesting to see how David Fox flies solo tonight without the giant Mushigihara there to back him up.
The bustle of the crowd is suddenly cut off by the audible clinking of a cowbell filling the MGM Grand, and the lighting around the arena entrance rapidly dimming.
Nick Stuart: Well, this is an unusual way to make an entrance. I wonder what David Fox has in mind for tonight’s match up, his singles debut here in PRI—
Nick is immediately cut off by a blast of loud, pounding chords as the lighting pulses in time with them, followed by the snaky main riff of Faith No More’s “Surprise! You’re Dead!” Slithering alone from the gorilla position, David Fox has his arms stretched out, as if gesturing to the PRIMEates, with a mischievous smirk etched on his face.
SURPRISE!
YOU’RE DEAD!
HA HA HA!
OPEN YOUR EEEEEYYYYYES!
Vince Howard: Making his way to the ring, one half of the Dangerous Mix! From Blackwood, New Jersey, weighing one hundred ninety pounds… Daaaaaaaaavid FOX!
See the world as it used to be
When you used to be in it
When you were alive
And when you were in love
And when I…
TOOK IT FROM YOU!
The self-proclaimed Soul Survivor roars down to the ring, tagging hands and shouting out to them to get loud!
Richard Parker: My stars and kickpads, it looks like the poor lad’s gotten a screw loose!
Nick Stuart: Well, I imagine if you were being hounded by the Masters of the Multiverse B-Team, you wouldn’t be so happy yourself?
Richard Parker: Good point. Sheesh, those guys…
It’s not over yet!
You don’t remember? I won’t let you forget
The hatred I bestow
Upon your neck with a fatal blow!
As he makes it onto the ringside mat, Fox stares into the ring, and SPRINTS in under the bottom ropes, hopping right back to his feet and leaning up onto the ropes.
From my teeth and my tongue
I’ve drank and swallowed, but it’s just begun!
Fox leaps onto the nearest middle turnbuckle, arms stretched out again, head tilted back, and a mighty yell rushing from his lungs… not unlike his tag team partner’s signature “OSU,” but without any rhyme or reason.
NOW! YOU’RE! MIIIIIIIIIINE!
I’ll keep killing you, ‘til the end of time!
Fox coolly steps back down onto the mat, leaning into the corner and keeping focus inside the ring, while he waits for the match to start.
Moments later, “Happy Song” by Bring Me the Horizon hits the PA, and jeers fill the arena. Darin Zion walks out through the curtain, fists pumped and smirking ear to ear. After a few moments of posturing to get the fans nice and heated, he begins an arrogant strut down the rampway toward the ring.
Vince Howard: And the opponent, representing Love Convoy… he hails from Chicago, Illinois, and weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds… “REAL LOVE” Daaaariiiiiiiin ZIIIIOOOONN!!
Richard Parker: I don’t know why more people don’t give Darin the love he deserves! Nobody in PRIME even has half the heart this guy does!
Nick Stuart: He’s definitely very… self-assured of himself, I will say that. Be as it may, Darin Zion has a chance tonight to pick up his first win in PRIME against an opponent who hasn’t been on in some time. David Fox should pose an interesting challenge for him.
Richard Parker: Give him hell, REAL LOVE! Feed off these peoples’ hate!
Zion climbs the steps and enters through the ropes, taking more time to pose while the PRIME Faithful let him hear it. Across the ring, David Fox stretches against the ropes, wearing a cocky smirk of his own.
DING DING
Both competitors come out of their corners and begin circling each other, until Zion breaks the ice going for the lock-up, but gets bit with a sharp low kick to the thigh by Fox before he can close the distance. They circle again, both men looking for an opening. Darin again tries to move in, but another kick to the other thigh forces him to juke out range again.
The expression on REAL LOVE’s face is becoming increasingly vexed, even as Fox brazenly motions for him to make his next move. Zion is more pensive in his approach this time, shooting in low and catching the leg before the Soul Survivor can connect,
Nick Stuart: Darin Zion scores the first takedown, after several repelled efforts by David Fox! He’s going for the mount, but now Fox counters with rabbit punches to the back of the exposed head!
Richard Parker: Wouldn’t they be called “fox” punches, in this case?
Zion, snapping into action, snags Fox by one of the arms and transitions smoothly into a cross-arm breaker! David knows he’s in trouble if he holds the submission in place for too long, and quickly pushes himself up to his feet to get the leverage he needs to roll Darin’s shoulders to the mat!
ONE
TWO
Zion releases the arm and rolls off of his shoulders!
Nick Stuart: REAL LOVE Darin Zion had the submission in place, but the quick thinking of David Fox forces him to break the hold!
Richard Parker: You could say he… out-FOXed him?
Nick Stuart: I wouldn’t get too far into the animal puns, Rich. The Cringe Police may be listening.
Zion rolls to his knees, and manages to catch Fox with a rising European Uppercut when he moves in to strike. David briefly reels off the hit, then recovers and comes back at Zion with a shoot kick straight to the ribs. REAL LOVE doubles over, but stays on his feet, and answers with a hard knife-edge chop of his own to leave Fox reeling again.
David staggers, clutching his chest, and Zion sees his opening, spinning around and going for his Ban Hammer discus clothesline… but Fox has it scouted, ducking the lariat and catching Darin into a side headlock. Before Zion can make a move to escape, David switches into a drop toe hold to put him face first to the mat.
Nick Stuart: Sayama Special by David Fox puts Zion, and the Soul Survivor immediately goes into a rear mount!
David Fox uses his position to tauntingly slap at the back of Zion’s head, trying to get him riled up. Now thoroughly irritated, Darin shovesbut in his rage he runs straight into a jumping knee strike from Fox that connects with his chest and sends him into the turnbuckles.
David presses his advantage, peppering with light by swift muay thai elbows from the left and right. Zion keeps his head covered and weathers the storm. He finds his opening when the Soul Survivor looks for a clinch, when he suddenly slips under the arm to go behind and catches Fox off-guard with a sudden Tiger Suplex, bridging through to make the cover!
ONE
TWO
Fox kicks out!
Nick Stuart: Solid looking Tiger Suplex by Darin Zion to get himself out of a precarious situation, but only gets a two count for his effort.
Richard Parker: Fox Mulder’s hung in there since the opening bell, but the REAL LOVE may have a REAL opportunity to make something happen off that move!
Nick Stuart: You make a good point, partner. David Fox looks absolutely rocked after that suplex, and Zion quickly slaps on a front facelock to keep him positioned on the mat!
Fox works his way to his feet and tries to bull his way into the corner, but Zion pushes off his tip-toes and uses his thirty-pound advantage to keep his trapped opponent in place. Still having a hold of the head, Zion turns and drops, taking Fox with him to the mat with a textbook neckbreaker!
David Fox is clutching his neck on canvas, giving Zion ample time to roll him over and hook the legs for the cover!
ONE
TWO
NO!! David gets the shoulder up!
Nick Stuart: A near fall there off the neckbreaker, but Darin Zion quickly slaps on a Dragon Sleeper the moment David Fox sits up, continuing to wear away at the head and neck!
Richard Parker: For a minute there, I thought the Fantastic Mr. Fox may have gotten under his skin, but Zion looks like he’s feelin’ the love once again!
With the tables turned, REAL LOVE mugs to the fans for heat while slapping the exposed ribs of David Fox, who fights the submission with all of his strength. When he’s done punishing him, Darin takes ahold of the waistband and pulls Fox into the air for an inverted suplex… but David slips free and lands behind him!
Zion immediately knows something is amiss, but can’t react in time before Fox catches him with a schoolboy!
ONE
TWO
THR-NO!! Zion kicks out in the nick of time!
Richard Parker: My heart leapt in my throat there! Ol’ Michael J. almost got away with it there, but all he achieved was getting Darin good and pissed!
Nick Stuart: Zion with a roundhouse kick, tags David Fox on the back of the neck as soon as he’s on his feet! Pulling him into the headlock now… could be going for the RATINGS SPIKE — NO!!
The Soul Survivor digs deep and shoves Darin Zion off of him. Caught off-guard, Darin takes a hard collision against the corner and stumbles back the way of Fox, already in motion. His spinning back heel kick connects with the head of Zion.
Nick Stuart: FLASHBANG!! And GOOD NIGHT!!
Richard Parker: Oof…
The sound of Fox’s heel hitting Zion’s head resonates through the arena before REAL LOVE hits the mat REAL FAST. David sprawls across his chest to make the pin.
ONE
TWO
THREE!
DING DING DING
The crowd cheers with approval when Faith No More’s “Suprise! You’re Dead!” hits the PA. Fox rises off of Zion and gets to his feet, holding his neck but allowing official Jimmy Turnbull to raise his arm in victory.
Vince Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… the Soul Survivor, DAAAVIIID FOOOOOOOX!!
Nick Stuart: And there we have it! Zion ever so briefly lost his cool after the schoolboy, and David Fox made him pay for it, picking up the win here tonight!
Richard Parker: A real tragedy, I tell you. I had fifty bucks on Darin breaking the curse tonight.
Nick Stuart: Be as it may, the glory of victory has again eluded Darin Zion, thanks to the efforts of David Fox. The Soul Survivor, for his own part, has proven himself tonight as a formidable competitor in singles action. Meanwhile, ladies and gentlemen, we need to take a quick commercial break, but don’t go away!