Dean Wolf

Backstage, we find ourselves with an extreme close-up on a chocolate fountain – one that still finds its contents liquid despite not having been plugged into anything for the better part of an hour. Of course there is also an extreme close-up on the face of “Beautiful” Bobby Dean, only he’s upside-down and drinking liquid chocolate. That’s right, folks – PRIME’s own Augustus Gloop is keg-standing a chocolate fondue fountain while traveling at high… no, wait… a leisurely velocity.

How exactly did the fine production people get this shot? I dunno, drones or some shit.

SHE HAD DUMPS LIKE A TRUCK, TRUCK, TRUCK

Oh, and Sisqo is there, at least in spirit. Gettin’ a lot of mileage out of this boombox gag, you guys.

THIGHS LIKE WHAT, WHAT, WHAT

The camera withdraws to reveal that the big Texan isn’t so much keg-standing as he is draped over the driver’s cage of the forklift like a big ol’ mermaid sunning herself on a rock; lazily “Teen Wolf’ing” the roof. Meanwhile the forklift is zipping around the backstage area, driven by a dork in a blueberry mask. He is not OSHA certified.

BABY, MOVE YOUR BUTT, BUTT, BUTT

Since the last time we’ve seen these two, they have added a new addition to their makeshift entourage. A cake that used to say “Happy Birthday Dusk”, the latest addition to the List Of Shit They Are Not Supposed To Have, is being dunked into the fountain piece by delicious piece.

King Blueberry: UH, I THINK I’LL SING IT AGAIN C’MON!

He does indeed sing it again, but only after the camera cuts away.