DUMBER THAN A BAG OF HAMMERS
We’re now in front of a classic PRIME-branded backdrop backstage. Junior interviewer Simon Tillier looks dapper and swell as he eagerly holds up his mic.
Simon Tillier: Ladies and gentlemen, the Neck Collector of the Glueminati…FLAMBERGE!
FLAMBO sure has made fashion choices. His blazer and slacks seem to be matching grey and black and green snakeskin (perhaps lizardskin?), though he’s wearing zero shirts when most suits call for at least one. He’s wearing a dumb heavy gold chain around his neck and bright yellow plastic sunglasses that probably cost a dollar. Despite his loud outfit, he seems subdued.
Simon Tillier: FLAMBERGE, thank you for joining me. You have a major opportunity at Tropical Turmoil. If you are able to defeat Anna Daniels, you will become the first wrestler in the ReVival Era to capture both the 5 Star and Intense Titles. Your thoughts?
FLAMBERGE: My thoughts? Mon dieu, you are the trash at this. Let me tell you my thoughts, little man. My thoughts are that I am the DISAPPOINTED. I desired the opportunity to show the child torturer Paxton Ray just how badly he could be beaten by a competitor who is truly better…and then the damn Anna Daniels had to ruin this for me by doing this first! And now, instead of the beautiful Paxton Ray Intense Neck that I so very desired, I must pivot to a multiverse of necks. It is the TRASH.
Simon Tillier: Anna Daniels certainly seems to be on the warpath. Any response to her comments from last ReVival?
FLAMBERGE: …no response that you would get for the free, little man.
Simon Tillier: Right…pivoting to tonight’s main event. Your Glueminati partner and good friend Cecilworth Farthington teams with Joe Fontaine tonight-
FLAMBO bristles for a moment and gives a confused dagger of a glance to Simon at the words “good friend”, but he shakes it off.
Simon Tillier: What made you all decide to recruit the Winds of Change into the Glueminati?
FLAMBERGE: If you cannot see with your dumb little eyeballs the reasons I would desire the Sid Phillips and the Joe Fontaine to be the ally, then as they would say in my neighborhood growing up, tu es plus con qu’un sac de marteaux. They win very much. The rest of us win very much. You cannot buy this type of brand synergy. Now if you will excuse me, I wish to watch my work colleagues win a wrestling match.
FLAMBO begins to step away from Tillier, but Simon goes for one more swing at getting something, ANYTHING helpful out of the Frenchman.
Simon Tillier: Before you go – one final question. What were you all texting about last episode? You, Farthington, and Best?
The would-be Protagonist of PRIME snort-laughs.
FLAMBERGE: No.
With that, FLAMBO definitely steps away from the interview stage.
Simon Tillier: FLAMBERGE, just as eager as the rest of us to watch tonight’s main event! Right after this commercial!