EDDIE CROSS vs. MIKE MCGEE
Nick Stuart: Well that was…something.
Richard Parker: I always forget what rating this show is, but whatever it is, I think we overshot it by a mile just now.
Nick Stuart: And now, just minutes after Mike McGee found out his precious car was defiled, he gets to face off against Eddie Cross.
Richard Parker: McGee might be unhinged after that. He talks about that car like people talk about their kids.
Green Screen.
Match Start in 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…
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– Eliminate Other Players –
ISIS (ADHD) by Joyner Lucas ft Logic begins, and the arena lights focus on the entry.
One time for them prayin’ on my downfall (Yeah)
Two times for the homies in the chow hall (Whoa)
Three times for them hoes on the internet
Shittin’ on me when they really should get out more
Four times for the days I would hold back (Woo!)
Five times for the bitches who ain’t called back (Yeah)
Six times for the kids like me who got ADHD just to (Brap, brap, brap)
As Joyner Lucas rhymes Eddie “N1ghtCraw1er” Cross steps out of the back followed shortly by Dave Gibson. He adjusts his custom gaming glasses before walking down the ramp focused on the ring. He pauses at the ring steps, taking off his backpack, unzipping the main compartment, and placing it in the corner of the ring. He waits for the transition between Joyner and Logic’s verse before psyching himself up. Vince Howard is waiting.
Vince Howard: From Detroit, Michigan by way of Orlando, Florida, standing six feet four inches and weighing in at 225 lbs, EDDIE “N1GHTCRAW1ER” CROSS!!!
Eddie tosses his glasses to Dave, runs up the ring steps, wipes his feet on the apron, and enters the ring as Logic spits his hook.
Me and Joyner need a couple hearses (Woo!)
Double homicide, kill the beat and the verses
Everybody livin’ on the surface
But we came from the underground, yeah, we deserve it
Eddie rolls his neck and watches the ramp, smiling.
Nick Stuart: He certainly looks proud of himself.
“Bright Future in Sales” by Fountains of Wayne plays and the PRIMEView shows a lot of different spreadsheets with formulas and TPS forms. McGee walks to the ring in a “business casual” singlet – double hooked and made to look like a collared shirt and slacks. But as he walks towards the ring, he undoes the straps on his singlet, shouting at Cross as he does so.
Richard Parker: Uh oh.
Without warning, McGee slides under the ropes and grabs Cross’s legs, taking him down and starting to bang his head against the mat. Ashley Barlow calls for the bell as she gets down on her knees to try and stop the attack.
DING DING
Nick Stuart: Here we go! McGee is angry just like we predicted, and Ashley is going to have a hell of a time controlling this match!
She certainly is. She is yelling at McGee, trying to pry him off of Cross, but he keeps screaming and shoving her away before sending more punches to the face of Cross. Shouts of “HOW DARE YOU!” and “MY PRECIOUS CHERRY RED KIA SORRENTO” ring out loud enough for casino patrons to hear. Finally, he stands up and starts yelling at Barlow, which is sure to get the fans to boo him. No one is mean to Ashley.
Richard Parker: Mess with the Kia, you get the horns, like I always say.
Nick Stuart: You…always say that?
Richard Parker: Of course I do! Like when you cut me off in my Kia, I’m going to honk my horn REALLY loud.
Nick Stuart: I see.
Richard Parker: Just kidding! I don’t drive a Kia, I’m not lower middle class.
McGee tires of abusing the poor referee (Girl Ref, as he’d call her) and turns around to continue the assault on Cross. The only problem is Cross is already up and he’s ready for it.
Nick Stuart: Drop toe hold from Cross! And now it’s time for the young man to take over!
Richard Parker: He already took over. He took over McGee’s car. And painted two people having sex on it.
Cross is quick to move over to McGee’s body and work on his joints, pulling his arm and wrenching on it. McGee swipes angrily but can’t break the hold.
Richard Parker: Mike McGee is an accomplished amateur wrestler and normally getting into a war on the mat with him may be foolish, but Cross has the advantage here because McGee is clearly too angry to focus on the fundamentals. It may be his undoing here.
Nick Stuart: That was an astute observation, Richard. Cross continuing to wrench that arm behind McGee’s back, now transitioning into a headlock, but McGee twists out and tries to get to his feet, Cross quick to trip him up again and now he has the headlock in!
McGee screams, flailing his arms. Cross continues to wrench in, looking at Dave Gibson on the outside, who continues to encourage his protege. After a few moments of struggle, McGee is able to roll over, putting Cross’s shoulders onto the mat. Barlow drops for the cover.
ONE!
Nick Stuart: Kickout from Cross, but that was quick thinking by McGee.
Richard Parker: Maybe he’s finally composed, he’ll need to be if he wants to win this match.
As both men get to their feet, they realize this is the first time since the match began that both are completely ready for each other. They begin to circle each other, each jawing at the other.
Nick Stuart: Neither man has been in the company long, but it hasn’t taken long at all for these men to truly detest one another. It started in the match last ReVival, where Cross and McGee faced off in a triple threat match with Larry Tact, and Cross was able to pick up the win. But it escalated right after that match and then over the last two weeks on the company Jabber platform.
Richard Parker: I don’t understand why anyone is on that platform. It just seems to be a place where the assholes shout a lot and the whiny baby good guys cry about it.
Nick Stuart: Honestly that kind of seems up your alley.
Richard Parker: You’re right, I’m signing up for an account as we speak.
The two men tie up – or they’re about to, before Cross evades McGee’s arms and hits a forearm strike to McGee’s midsection. McGee bends over and Cross launches a kick into his face, sending him backward. McGee stays on his feet, but not for long as Cross ends his assault with a spinning elbow to the jaw.
Nick Stuart: OHKO! And Cross goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
Nick Stuart: McGee with the kickout.
Eddie lifts McGee to his feet while politely letting Ashley Barlow know he didn’t appreciate the speed of her counting. Barlow jaws back, which leaves Cross distracted as McGee grabs Cross and sends him over for a belly-to-belly suplex. McGee lets out a loud yell as he starts pointing as members of the audience, getting a chorus of boos.
Nick Stuart: McGee showing an intense side we haven’t seen yet from him.
Richard Parker: Yeah.
Nick Stuart: You here with me, bud?
Richard Parker: Sorry, trying to think of something good for my first jabber message.
Nick Stuart: Oh no.
McGee lifts Cross up and sends him into the turnbuckle, then fires off a series of chops to his chest. Before Cross can react, McGee grabs his head and slams it into the opposite turnbuckle. Cross rests there for a moment, trying to wipe at his face, but McGee gives him no time as he grabs him from behind.
Nick Stuart: German suplex! And McGee holds firm!
Richard Parker: “Hey Jabberinos!” No, that’s weird.
Nick Stuart: And another German! Still not letting go…
Richard Parker: “Dick is in the Thick…of things!” Eh, that’s better but not punchy enough.
Nick Stuart: And a third German suplex! Eddie Cross looks out of it! And here comes McGee trying to finish him!
ONE!
TWO!
T…
Cross kicks out, which surprisingly gets a small cheer. Neither of these men are fan favorites, but the crowd has clearly aligned themselves against Mr. Middle Management.
Nick Stuart: Earlier on McGee’s anger was a detriment, but now it seems he’s found his footing and that may spell trouble for Eddie Cross.
Richard Parker: “Hey Dicks! It’s me!”
Nick Stuart: Richard, just make sure you don’t say anything out of line in there.
Richard Parker: Of course I won’t, Nick. Who do you think I am, Eugene Ware?
Nick Stuart: Do not invoke his name in this city.
McGee lifts Cross up and lifts Cross up, then drops his legs onto the ropes, causing him to slingshot back into the suplex. McGee attempts another pinfall, but Cross quickly raises his feet onto the ropes before Ashley Barlow can put her hand down once.
Nick Stuart: Savvy move from Cross, and you have to think that’s from the tutelage of Dave Gibson, who’s slapping the apron and giving his protege some advice here.
Richard Parker: Dave Gibson, formerly a play-by-play commentator at SCCW. Do you remember who his partner was?
Nick Stuart: Don’t.
McGee continues his assault on Cross, rolling him into the middle of the ring, then grabbing Cross’s legs. He then rolls him over and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf, causing Cross to scream.
Nick Stuart: Uh oh, Cross is in a lot of trouble now!
Richard Parker: Uh huh.
Nick Stuart: Will you put your phone away? This match is heating up!
Richard Parker: Probably a good idea, lot of insufferable pricks in that chatroom. McGee’s got him right in the center of the ring, and look at Dave Gibson! Not jumping up to interfere, just calmly instructing from the side!
Indeed, Gibson is just nodding, telling Cross to fight, miming crawling hands. Cross begins to obey his mentor, using his body to pull McGee backward as he reaches for the ropes. He pushes up on his arms so he can wheelbarrow, all the while screaming in pain.
Nick Stuart: What impressive guts and strength from Cross! He’s almost at the ropes now…and McGee pulls him back! Cross is back where he started!
Richard Parker: Not exactly, partner! Cross is twisting…now he pushes McGee back with his feet!
McGee flops onto the canvas, and Cross is quick to pop up. When McGee rushes towards him, Cross grabs him and levels him with a spinebuster. Before McGee can react, Cross rolls him over.
Nick Stuart: Cross grabs McGee, and it looks like he’s looking to end it now! He steps into the surfboard, leans back…this is it! He calls this GG, and it’s locked in on McGee!
Richard Parker: McGee has nowhere to go…he’s tapping! It’s over!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winner…EDDIIIIEEEEEEE CROOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Nick Stuart: Well it was a back and forth affair, but Cross picks up his second win, and you have to think – watch out!
Nick was speaking to Eddie Cross, who understandably didn’t hear him. However, because of that he didn’t see Mike McGee come from behind to clothesline him. Cross falls and McGee begins to stomp on him as the bell rings again and the crowd boos.
Richard Parker: Now he’s double angry!
Nick Stuart: What a poor sport! Mike McGee attacking the man who beat him clean in the middle of the ring!
Richard Parker: He also defiled the man’s car, so he kind of has it coming.
McGee continues his assault on Cross, then lifts him up and drapes him on the ropes. He then runs to the other side of the ring and rolls onto Cross’s back, then comes back and hits a big suplex.
Nick Stuart: Open Enrollment! He hit his big suplex on Cross, and here comes security!
Security rushes down to separate the two men, but McGee is already leaving the ring. He snarls at Cross as he makes his way back up the ramp.
Nick Stuart: Well Eddie Cross won this match, but Mike McGee had the last laugh as he attacked the victor from behind!
Richard Parker: I’m sure this isn’t Game Over for Cross and McGee’s dislike of each other.
Nick Stuart: What?
Richard Parker: What do you want from me? He’s a gamer and I haven’t played a game since Dig Dug.