EVERYTHING PERSONAL

Nick Stuart: Welcome back, folks! We’re a few minutes away from Coral Avalon vs. Lunchbox Larry, and…

They say it’s good to start a story with a tragedy

Nick is interrupted by the chilling voice of Martin Earley and the chunky riff of “Fistfight” by Ballroom Thieves, and then by boos. 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The fans are unhappy, of course, because this is the song of Paxton Ray. However, he is not the one who emerges at the ramp. Instead, we see Foster Nackedy, Paxton’s manager, wearing a tuxedo t-shirt and athletic shorts.

Richard Parker: This man is the manager of a champion? He looks like he got lost on the way from a homeless shelter.

Foster smiles and waves to the booing fans as he walks towards the ring. He kindly asks Vince Howard for a microphone as he nears the back end of the ring, and the ring announcer obliges. Foster rolls under the ropes and stands up, smiling and holding the mic to his mouth.

Foster Nackedy: Good evening Orlando!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Foster Nackedy: Oh, guys, save your boos. You’re going to need them in a second. Because I have the absolute pleasure of introducing PRIME’s hottest wrestler, the man who has not lost a sanctioned match, and most importantly your NEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Intense Champion!

Foster looks over at Vince.

Foster Nackedy: Comin’ for your job, Vinny. 

Foster then looks back at the entrance ramp.

Foster Nackedy: Ladies, gentlemen, luchadors…PAXTON! RAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Richard Parker: BOO!

The Bayou Butcher emerges, and it is clear he is not as amused by this introduction as Foster clearly is. He stops at the ramp and looks out, snarling. He adjusts the championship on his shoulder and walks down the ramp, then enters the ring. He walks up to Foster and whispers something in his ear. Foster nods, then says “don’t worry, I got it,” which is barely picked up on the mic. 

Foster Nackedy: Now I’m sure you’re asking why we are here. Why we have decided to come out here to address the finest folks that Florida has to offer. After all, Paxton doesn’t have a match. So why are we here? Would Foster and Paxton really request time just to come out and brag?

Foster looks at Paxton and shrugs.

Foster Nackedy: Yeah, pretty much.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Foster Nackedy: Look, last ReVival was historic. It was a great match between two ferocious competitors, and both walked away from scars that will probably never heal. And so, as the victor, Paxton deserves a celebration. He deserves to crow. So first we need to give a round of applause to the former champion, The Anglo Luchador, for putting up such a heroic fight and having an amazing reign. Go on, cheer. He deserves it too!

The fans let out a loud cheer and Foster chuckles.

Foster Nackedy: Okay, okay, that’s enough. But now let’s move on and talk about what this all means. What Paxton Ray as champion means for the PRIME landscape. Everyone knows that Paxton loves to hurt people. Some people consider it a bad thing.

Nick Stuart: Some people?

Richard Parker: He’s saying it like it’s an opinion. Some people like orange juice. No one likes paralyzers!

Foster Nackedy: And I will admit that maybe it got a little out of hand for a while there. But now everything is okay again. Why? Because now the pain can be confined to official matches. We don’t have to worry about Mark Lemon or Enemigos being caught in the crossfire. Now we can just get pain in the ring where it belongs!

Nick Stuart: Oh yeah? What about Nova last week, huh?

Almost as if he heard him, Foster smiles.

Foster Nackedy: And finally, I want to apologize to Nova for what happened before the title match at ReVival 21. It was one of those wrong place, wrong time things. Nothing personal. Hope y–

The crowd can no longer hear Foster’s voice. Not because he stopped talking, but because the microphone is no longer in his hand. It now belongs to Paxton Ray, who stares at his manager with an icy glare. After a moment, Paxton raises the microphone to his lips.

Paxton Ray: Correction. It was very personal.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Paxton Ray: Nova ain’t just a guy that was in my way. Nova is PRIME in all the ways I hate. He don’t wanna fight. He don’t wanna prove he’s the best. He just wants to live off the name, wave his hand, and get his checks. So when I saw the old man hangin’ around the boss’s office, lookin’ like a lost puppy, I did what you’re s’posed t’do with lost puppies. I put him down.

The fans boo as Foster looks at his charge, noticeably uncomfortable.

Paxton Ray: An’ if I see ya again tonight, Nova? Before your match, after your match…durin’ your match…I’m gonna finish the damn job. 

 Paxton throws the microphone down and walks out as “Fistfight” plays again and the fans boo. Foster uncomfortably walks over to the microphone and picks it up sheepishly.

Foster Nackedy: Uh…Orlando sucks. Bye!

He scampers out of the ring as we go elsewhere.