FLAMBERGE VS. HOYT WILLIAMS
There’s an atmosphere of expectation and excitement in the New Mexico crowd, as ReVival continues its journey forth, arriving at the destination of the next match of the evening.
Nick Stuart: Welcome back to ReVival, and wow, we have a big time match coming up next. The destructive path of the Neck Collector himself, FLAMBERGE has brought him to the lofty heights of being the number two ranked wrestler in PRIME. The Glueminati’s FLAMBERGE certainly is eying up that number one spot, but Hall of Famer and former Universal Champion Hoyt Williams stands in his way, looking to end the hot streak of FLAMBO.
Richard Parker: HOYT against Glue… against Cecilworth… I… I… I hope everyone has a good time in a clean fight! Curse however let this match happen, it must have been a clerical error. UTTER MADNESS!
Nick Stuart: A live view of a man’s bias’ intersecting, right there.
Referee Elvis Nixon slides into the ring as ‘Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode begins to play. Out walks Joe Burro holding the Imperium Bible above his head. He walks to the ring unphased by the jeering crowd as a single white spotlight follows him. Joe enters the ring and holds the bible towards the entranceway.
Richard Parker: You know, I wonder what’s running through the mind of FLAMBERGE watching the theatrics of Hoyt and his entourage.
Nick Stuart: Probably something like “that guy got style!”
Richard Parker: Something like that, I’m sure.
About two minutes into the song when it gets to the weird breathing part blue smoke starts filling the ramp as Hoyt appears with a long white robe flapping behind him. Hoyt starts to zip to the ring on a golden segway.
Vince Howard: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, making his way to the ring at this time, tonight he weighed in at a self-proclaimed perfect three thirty, hailing from Chicago, Illinois… HOYT! WILLIAMS!
Richard Parker: A glorious entrance! I love the weird breathing part.
Nick Stuart: Wow, you really are feeling the Word of Hoyt tonight.
Richard Parker: I just wish for all participants to have a pleasant evening!
Sort of unnoticed you can spot Hoyt’s two main brethren the massive Brother Privilege and Brother Hypocrisy walking casually to the ring behind the zipping, segway ridin’ Hoyt. Hoyt quickly disembarks from his holy roller and rolls himself right into the ring, popping up and starting a dedicated routine of “Jumping Jacks for Jesus”. “Personal Jesus” starts to fade and “Dangereux” by IAM replaces it, heralding the arrival of FLAMBERGE, who is not exactly the most popular man to the New Mexico crowd. Probably something to do with his new friends.
Vince Howard: And the opponent… coming to the ring at this time, he weighs in tonight at two hundred and eight pounds, hailing from Strasbourg, France… FLAMBERGE!
Nick Stuart: Every challenge that has been put before FLAMBERGE, he has slain for a good, long time now. You have to imagine this young competitor is hungry for his Intense Championship opportunity…
Richard Parker: …I wish I was watching that instead of this HURTFUL FARCE. How could they do this to me? How could they do this to Cecilworth and Hoyt?
Nick Stuart: You know that’s FLAMBERGE there, right?
Richard Parker: GLUE BINDS THEM!
As FLAMBERGE starts to head towards the ring, it’s clear that the negative reception has done little to divert his attention from the ring. FLAMBERGE has his eyes locked on the jump jackin’ Hoyt, who returns a gaze in kind. FLAMBERGE gradually but purposely slowly rolls into the ring, not stopping when he gets under the bottom rope, FLAMBERGE instead elects to roll all the way to the middle of the ring, stopping short at the side of Elvis Nixon. Hoyt’s jumping jack routine is brought to a stop from this rather odd way of ring entrance, as he walks over to Nixon and gestures towards FLAMBERGE, who is still very much on the mat at this point.
Nick Stuart: As the weeks progress with FLAMBERGE, I’m starting to wonder if he hasn’t been taking supply tips from Rezin.
Richard Parker: Hoyt won’t like this. He likes when wrestlers are vertical to start matches, being horizontal could be an unfair advantage!
Hoyt continues to try and converse with Nixon over the situation, but Nixon just shrugs his shoulders and calls for the bell.
DING DING
Flamberge remains on the mat, glaring up to the lights in the ceiling. Hoyt takes one lap around the FLAMBERGE, giving small kicks to see if his opponent is going to provide much of a reaction, he does not. Hoyt considers what to do next, clearly a bit stupefied at the scene before him. Hoyt puts his hands on his hips for a few seconds, trying to consider what the best option is. Hoyt may also be considering that he would’ve had a much easier time if this was actually an expensive egg ornament. Eventually, with a shrug of his shoulders, Williams drops down and hooks the leg of FLAMBO for the pin. Nixon checks the shoulders and counts.
ONE!
TWO!
FLAMBERGE KICKS OUT! Hoyt is genuinely surprised by this, giving FLAMBERGE enough momentum to swing around and hook his arm around Hoyt’s neck. Hoyt quickly senses that a man is looking to collect his own neck. Hoyt decides that he would rather not provide his neck to FLAMBERGE if it’s all the same to you, and thanks to the hold being locked in relatively lightly, Hoyt scrambles to the ropes for the break.
Nick Stuart: Was FLAMBERGE playing possum? Or did he just suddenly wake up and realise he was in a match?
Richard Parker: Why didn’t he just give up the win to Hoyt? The man isn’t 100%! That devious Nova injured him with a bowling ball.
Elvis Nixon instructs FLAMBERGE to break, and he surprisingly does so. Hoyt quickly gets back up, he turns around to see that his opponent is now sitting upright in the middle of the ring. Williams looks over at the Neck Collector, clearly trying to work out if perhaps some demon has possessed the young French talent. Hoyt looks out to his flock and asks for the Imperium Bible, Nixon warns him not to use it as a weapon, but Hoyt hushes the referee, as he quickly flicks through the pages.
Nick Stuart: What do you think Hoyt’s looking for in there?
Richard Parker: Probably trying to work out if there’s anything advice on a possessed FLAMBERGE.
FLAMBERGE remains motionless in the middle of the ring, just still sitting and dead eyed looking in the direction of Hoyt. It doesn’t seem like the French competitor has much of a mind to move towards his opponent. As Hoyt continues to desperately flick through his good book, Elvis Nixon once again moves in to remind him not to use it as a weapon. This time, Hoyt decides to wave off Nixon, but in doing so, his hand makes contact with Nixon’s temple. Elvis Nixon slowly topples over, timbering like a fresh cut tree.
Richard Parker: WHAT A KIND AND GENEROUS GESTURE! Hoyt has healed our poor Elvis Nixon!
Nick Stuart: At this point, I’m not sure if Nixon got drugged or I did.
Hoyt looks at the collapsed referee with absolute shock on his face, clearly this was not the outcome he was intending for. Despite the collapsed heap of Elvis Nixon resting next to him, this does not cause FLAMBERGE to either move, or stop his gaze towards Hoyt. Hoyt walks over to FLAMBERGE, clearly a bit annoyed about the situation and starts drilling boots into his exposed chest over and over again. After each shot, FLAMBERGE recoils and resets his seated position. Clearly not happy at the speed of progress on offer in this situation, Hoyt notices that Nixon is still out, raises the Imperium Bible up high and slams it down on top the skull of FLAMBERGE. This time, FLAMBERGE goes flat out. Hoyt returns the Bible to Burro, as Elvis Nixon slowly rouses from whatever it was that he just went through. Nixon sees that Hoyt once again has the cover on FLAMBERGE.
ONE!
TWO!
FLAMBERGE shoulder shoots up with intense force, managing to shift the much larger Hoyt Williams off of him. Hoyt is a bit stunned by the show of power from FLAMBERGE but it’s clear the young talent is in possession of some inner strength. This time, when Hoyt returns his attention back to FLAMBERGE, he notices two things. First, FLAMBERGE is now standing on the mat, ready to fight. Second, there’s a lot more life to his eyes than there was a few seconds prior. Williams quickly surmises that neither of these indicators bode well for him. Now, standing before him, there’s a very angry young lad, who he just hit very hard in the head with a boot. FLAMBERGE wastes no time throwing brutal leg kick after leg kick, smashing into the upper thigh of Williams, producing a meaty thud that reverberates around the arena. FLAMBO then scoots in at the weakened legs of Hoyt, looking for a takedown, but the larger Hoyt manages to drop an elbow to the back of FLAMBERGE’s skull, stalling his momentum.
Nick Stuart: Well, it looks like FLAMBERGE has been… activated… is that what you would call it? Regardless, he might be ready to fight but it’s not going to be easy against Hoyt Williams.
Richard Parker: This is starting to get a little out of hand, I think cooler heads can prevail here.
Almost as if trying to spite the word of Parker himself, FLAMBERGE returns the elbow to the skull with a headbutt right to the groin. With Nixon out of position, it could be argued it was to the weakened thigh, but that interpretation would be generous. Hoyt takes a few steps away from FLAMBERGE, trying to shake off the very uncomfortable pain that he currently finds himself in. Through pure instinct, and probably a lot of bitterness towards FLAMBERGE after the headbutt, Hoyt is able to drill a boot to the skull of the approaching Neck Collector. FLAMBO tries again, and is met with a second boot to the noggin. On the third attempt, FLAMBERGE is met with a set of Mongolian Chops that Hoyt has labeled the “Rapture Chops”. It’s clear that each attack on Hoyt’s part is slowly the efforts of the younger FLAMBERGE. Hoyt side steps FLAMBERGE and throws him towards the ropes, and starts to ready himself. As FLAMBERGE flies back towards him, Hoyt almost decapitates the smaller FLAMBO with a lariat. FLAMBERGE does a full three sixty in the air, maybe even four fifty, could’ve been seven twenty for all I know, it happened real fast and there was A LOT of spin. FLAMBERGE crashes to the mat in a heap.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE keeps going at Hoyt in almost zombie like fashion with a variety of strikes but with Hoyt having a significant height and weight advantage, he’s managing to find a way to shoulder the blows. That lariat though, I’m surprised I didn’t see FLAMBERGE’s skull up there in the 12th row.
Richard Parker: WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING SUCH EVIL INTO THE UNIVERSE?
The crowd, who have been mostly booing for the majority of the contest, just one endless booing drone… that’s broken for a second into a bit of a hushed silence. An awe at the power of the lariat breaks the crowd’s intense dislike for both competitors. Hoyt wastes no time and hoists FLAMBERGE back up, placing him over his right shoulder. With FLAMBERGE draped over him, The Pontiff of PRIME slams his opponent with full force into the turnbuckle, turns around 180, rushes and slams FLAMBERGE flat in the centre of the mat. Hoyt has demonstrated Marshall Applewhite’s Swan Song, and he’s very delighted to have done so. Hoyt looks at Nixon, who gestures to the remains of FLAMBERGE on the mat. Hoyt kicks FLAMBERGE over and once again goes for a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE?
Hoyt certainly hears three, and rolls off of FLAMBERGE, hands raised high in victory.
Elvis Nixon looks at Hoyt and informs him “TWO!”
Richard Parker: That was three! MY PAIN IS OVER!
Nick Stuart: It wasn’t, FLAMBERGE raised his arm in the sky hundreths of a second before Elvis Nixon’s hand hit the mat for the three. He’s waved the pin off and made it clear that was not a match call.
Richard Parker: Gravity and the Good Lord let that hand hit the mat, that should be the final judgement!
Nick Stuart: Just because you want the match over doesn’t mean we should ignore the facts. That was a two. A two was a two was a two.
Hoyt starts to plead with Nixon to ring the bell, clearly not entirely sure what to make of FLAMBERGE and wanting the whole affair over with. His case pleading is cut short by the fact his opponent managed to get back up from the brutal lariat and slam, and he now drilled his shoe directly into Hoyt’s neck. Hoyt staggers due to the pressure of the kick and the surprising nature. As he wobbles, FLAMBERGE manages to drill a boot right into the gut of Hoyt. Hoyt tries to fight of the natural reaction of doubling over, fearing it’ll leave him exposed. He manages to have enough constitution to do so, righting himself up. That is, until gut kick two comes with a thwack that you swear will have left a lifetime impression on Hoyt’s stomach. This time, Hoyt does double over and this presents FLAMBERGE with the opening of a lifetime. FLAMBERGE hops and hooks, locking the larger Williams in a guillotine choke.
Nick Stuart: The Marie Antoinette! FLAMBERGE IS LOOKING TO COLLECT ANOTHER NECK.
Richard Parker: I hate to say this but tap Hoyt. SAVE YOURSELF! SAVE YOUR NECK FROM COLLECTION!
Hoyt’s entourage yell to Nixon that FLAMBERGE has an illegal choke in but Nixon waves off their concerns, insisting that there is absolutely nothing crooked about the hold. Hoyt surveys his options, trying to see where he is relative to the ropes as FLAMBERGE hangs around him like an unwanted backpack. Williams feels out the situation for a bit longer, trying to work out his escape path. He extends his arms out and tries to reach for any rope in his nearby vicinity but it’s an unsuccessful attempt. Although he has the larger frame, as the air drains from him, he staggers down to one knee. FLAMBERGE for his part does not let up with the hold, making it clear that he has the energy to do this all day. Clearly making a decision that is in the long term interest of his health and wellbeing, Hoyt Williams does the only reasonable thing for a man in his situation…
Nick Stuart: HOYT WILLIAMS TAPS! FLAMBERGE COLLECTS ANOTHER NECK!
Richard Parker: I’m just breathing a sign of relief that this one is over. Either man could have won the day…
Nick Stuart: It could have been, but it was FLAMBERGE and perhaps his new and very off putting demeanor that proved to be a puzzle that Hoyt Williams could not crack.
Richard Parker: Somehow this is Nova’s fault and he’s going to pay for this real soon.
Elvis Nixon calls for the bell.
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: Your winner of the match, at a time of seventeen minutes and twenty two seconds, by way of submission… FLAMBERGE!
Richard Parker: I don’t know what’s in that kid, but it’s working.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE continues to impress, but you have to imagine that the frustration for Hoyt Williams is growing… a lot of close matches…
Richard Parker: If Nova hadn’t launched that boulder at Hoyt, we’d be in a very different place right now!
Elvis Nixon raises FLAMBERGE’s hand, but the young talent doesn’t seem to much acknowledge someone is currently holding one of his limbs up high. We stay with this picture for a few awkward seconds before we fade out.