GOLD RUSH
Nick Stuart: Colton and Youngblood get their own measure of revenge against The Love Convoy tonight. The momentum seems to be shifting to the side of the good guys.
Richard Parker: Bah. Anyone with half a brain knows that in the end, love will conquer all!
Events in the ring seem to be winding down, but there’s a sudden uptick in noise from the crowd.
Nick Stuart: There seems to be some commotion, let’s see what’s going on…
Nate Colton rolls out of the ring, trying to catch his breath for a moment before heading to the back. When suddenly…
WHACK
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE IS HERE! FLAMBERGE came in out of nowhere and LEVELED Nate Colton with an elbow to the back of the head! Colton is down!
Richard Parker: That oughtta teach the goober to keep his head in the game.
Nick Stuart: The game’s already over, Rich! The match is done, and FLAMBERGE shouldn’t even be out here!
The Strasbourg Superstar takes a moment to taunt his rival–
FLAMBERGE: Tu es toujours the BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!
–before returning to his original purpose, which involves that involves a certain championship belt. He saunters toward the timekeeper’s table, where the Five Star Title sits. He grins widely as he approaches and grabs one end; the prize he rightfully won is now in his grasp.
Funny thing, though. No matter how much he wants to leave with that belt, he can’t quite manage to do so. That might have something to do with the big meaty paw grabbing the other end of the belt.
RRAAAAAAAAAHH!!
Nick Stuart: Youngblood’s got the other end! FLAMBERGE tried to sneak off with the title, but Brandon isn’t about to let that happen!
Richard Parker: How can he sneak off with it? He’s the champion! That’s HIS belt!
Nick Stuart: …all right, you got me on that one.
A brief tug of war ensues, as each man tries to pull the belt out of the other man’s grasp.
FLAMBERGE: Donne le moi! C’est à moi!
Brandon Youngblood: Screw you, shitheel! You want it so bad, take it from me!
Once again, we are at an impasse. One that, once again, can only be resolved by the sudden appearance of a Goat Bastard.
RRAAAAAHHHH!!!
Nick Stuart: REZIN! REZIN is coming through the crowd, and…
Rezin: ZZZZZZZZZ…
Richard Parker: That punk is STILL knocked out?!
Nick Stuart: Still out after FLAMBERGE’s Marie Antoinette earlier in the night, but somehow the cart has made it’s way out here and now–LOOK OUT!!
In the time it took Nick Stuart to yell all of that, Rezin, still conked out in his shopping cart, rolls out of control along an aisle through the crowd, eventually crashing into the barricade and sending him flying out over the guard rail. His flight takes out Youngblood and FLAMBERGE, sending all three men and the title belt flying in different directions. FLAMBO falls back into the corner, Youngblood towards the ring. Rezin snaps awake in time to find himself skidding across the announcers table, knocking papers everywhere and spilling Richard’s drink.
Richard Parker: Gah! My iced tea!
Nick Stuart: That doesn’t smell like iced tea, Richard.
Richard Parker: You mind your own damn business!
Nick Stuart: It is chaos at ringside right now, fans! Everyone is down–but they’re right back up! All three men are getting into it now! It looks like we’ve got an extra fight on our hands tonight!
A wave of Enemigos pours down the ramp, because if there’s one thing PRIME security can’t abide, it’s unscheduled fun. They quickly separate the three wrestlers, much to the crowd’s chagrin.
BOOOOOOOOO!!
LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!
But the crowd doesn’t sign their paychecks; Lindsay Troy does. So the Enemigos keep all three of them away from each other–no easy task, to be sure.
Nick Stuart: FLAMBERGE, Rezin, and Brandon Youngblood can’t wait to get at each other! They’re ready to fight for the Five–hey…where is it?
That’s a good question, Nick. Yes, the fate of the Five Star Title itself was briefly forgotten in all the kerfuffle, and we should probably find out what happened to it.
Here’s what happened. When Rezin collided with Youngblood and FLAMBERGE, both men let go of the belt simultaneously, sending it flying through the air…not far, because championship belts are not terrible aerodynamic, but enough to get it away from the chaos. It bounced a few times, then flopped to a stop near the ring. Right where Nate Colton happened to be standing back up.
He picks up the belt and stares at it, not bothering to look at the fight breaking out only a few yards away.
Nick Stuart: Colton’s got it! Nate Colton has the Five Star Title!
Any wrestler worth their salt will tell you how badly they want to win a championship. But they never really know what that kind of want feels like until they get close. To hold the belt in your hands. To hear the announcer shout your name. To hear the fans explode as you realize your dream.
Nate feels his fingers tighten on the faceplate, and the lust for championship gold burrows deeper into his heart. He wants so very badly to keep it, to clutch it to his chest, to wrap it around his waist.
But he can’t. It doesn’t belong to him.
Someday, maybe. But not yet.
The scuffle had died down by this point, and the Enemigos now stood between the other three men, rather than having to hold them back. With a heavy sigh, Colton approaches the group.
His eyes meet with Youngblood’s, who smiles broadly. The Tower of Babel holds out his hand, ready to accept the burden once more.
Richard Parker: No fair! FLAMBERGE is getting his title stolen again!
Nick Stuart: Since when have you ever cared about ‘fair?’
Richard Parker: Not at our regular poker games, that’s for damn sure.
Nick Stuart: What?
Richard Parker: What?
Nate lifts up the belt to hand it off, but starts to draw it back…as if the mere act of letting go will cause him physical pain. But he knows what he has to do…and if he doesn’t do it now, he might not ever be able to.
With a sigh, he holds out his arm, and presents the Five Star Championship…
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
…to FLAMBERGE.
Nick Stuart: I don’t believe it! There is no love lost between these two, but Colton is still giving the title belt back to FLAMBERGE!
Richard Parker: Attaboy, Colton! Way to do the right thing!
FLAMBERGE is shocked at first, almost too shocked to actually accept. The shock quickly turns to disgust, then to glee as he snatches the belt out of Colton’s hand. Nate winces as this happens, as if the belt took a piece of him along with it.
Nick Stuart: Look at Youngblood! He is LIVID!
The Anger Golem is now earning his nickname, as he screams in Nate’s face.
Brandon Youngblood: Hell did you do that for?!
OOOOOOOH!!
Nick Stuart: And now a HARD shove from Youngblood to Colton! These two were on the same side just a few minutes ago, but now THEY’RE ready to go at it!
Richard Parker: Serves you right, dummy! Nobody likes a boy scout!
Nick Stuart: ANOTHER shove from Youngblood…and Colton gives one right back! Now the Enemigos have to keep THEM separated…fans, we’ve got to take a break so this can get resolved. Let’s get a word from our sponsors.