GREAT SCOTT vs. NED REFORM
ReVival goes back to ringside, with Nick and Dick.
Nick Stuart: Up next we have Just Scott going up against Ned Reform. Scott is the younger, taller, heavier, and presumably much more athletic of the two. Ned, coming off a debut win also has a brain cell so we’ll give him the nod in the smarts department. Should be an interesting matchup.
Richard Parker: Should be an absolute hoot. Can you believe this is Just Scott’s tenth match in PRIME? He wasn’t even a participant in the Almasy! Like, when did that happen?
Nick Stuart: Time flies when you’re Scottacanrana’ing around.
The lights go out.
The first and iconic few chords of Beethoven’s classic “Fur Elise” each throughout the arena. On the big screen, a series of purple music notes appear in tandem with the song. The music shifts from classic piano to a guitar version of the theme as two letters are on the screen: “NR.” The crowd begins to jeer as the house lights come back on, but this time as solid purple.
From the back emerges the Good Doctor himself, Ned Reform. He’s dressed for competition in his purple singlet, white boots, and ever-so-punchable smirk. One arm is behind his back as he stops in the center of the ramp – in his other hand? A microphone. Reform’s gaze moves slowly across the arena – his smile never faltering despite the boos.
Vince Howard: Making his way to the ring, from Litchfield, Connecticut and weighing in at two hundred twenty-seven pounds… NED REFORM!
This announcement draws a fresh round of boos. Reform looks directly into the camera, makes a “cut it” motion, and then impatiently waits as his theme fades away. Shifting his gaze from the lens to the people in attendance, he brings the mic up to his lips.
Ned Reform: That’s DOCTOR Ned Reform, glorified mic stand.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Reform’s smile grows wider. He begins to make his way toward the ring – but very slowly, as he cuts his promo as he walks.
Ned Reform: Children, children, children. No doubt the portion of the program for which you purchased your ticket has arrived. For those of you at home, rest assured that we entered the only segment worth watching. Now, I believe…
As Reform is talking, a chant begins. Softly at first, but it picks up in volume as it catches on. It eventually grows so loud that Reform is forced to stop walking, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head as he looks into the fans and registers what they’re saying. It seems a chant has followed him from the last time he was in Las Vegas in a different promotion…
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
“DOC – TOR – DICK – HEAD!” (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
Reform lets loose a single sneer before the facade goes back up and he smiles again.
Ned Reform: If you insist on being vulgar, have no doubt that I am a patient man. I can wait.
Reform folds his arms, looking around the arena with a look that is half disappointment and half annoyance. The fans continue their chant as The Sage on the Stage tries his best to look disinterested. Unfortunately, despite Reform’s best efforts, the “Doctor Dickhead” chant does not subside. Finally, his patience at an end, Reform lashes out with bug eyes.
Ned Reform: VERY WELL! You have just robbed yourself the gift of my verbiage! Instead, enjoy as I stomp Just Scott back to the stone age!
The people cheer in their apparent victory as Reform tosses the mic aside and sprints the rest of the way to the ring. He quickly moves up the steps, wipes his feet on the apron, and then enters the ring. Elvis Nixon gives him a thorough inspection before Ned finds his corner.
RIchard Parker: Someone said the other day that Ned Reform looked like Phil Atken just without all the glue sniffing and now I can’t unsee it.
Nick Stuart: And here comes Just Scott. Formerly, GREAT SCOTT.
“Born For Justness” by Papa Roach begins to blast over the speakers, as Just Scott emerges from behind the curtain carrying a nondescript championship belt over his shoulder. For some reason, EVEN Just Scott is over. Like really over. The crowd is going goddamned ballistic, and get even louder as Just Bear steps out behind him, rocking out to some EDM on his sweet Beats By Dre headphones.
Nick Stuart: That bear has captured the minds and hearts of wrestling fans across the globe.
Richard Parker: EDM is a thing again because of him. You’d think Scott’s entrance music would be some sort of EDM remix?
Just Scott and Just Bear make their way down to the ring, where Just Bear starts doing awesome dance moves at ringside. It isn’t entirely clear if this is a real live bear, or a man in a very convincing bear costume, but the crowd is very into all of it.
Richard Parker: I bet Raisin has nightmares about that bear.
Nick Parker: Or would it be dreams since he probably enjoys nightmares?
Richard Parker: Good question.
Anyway, Just Scott climbs up into the ring and goes up on all four ring posts, basking in the adulation of fans and holding up his championship belt. When he descends, he hands Just Bear the belt and sends him back up the ramp. Elvis Nixon gives him a check of the pads and then calls for the bell.
DING~!
Nick Parker: And we’re under way.
As soon as the bell rings The Doctor hits the canvas and rolls to the outside. There, he waves off Just Scott and decides to make small talk with a ringside fan. Nixon starts to count, reaching five before Ned rolls back in, and then quickly back out.
Nick Stuart: Ned playing some mind games early on.
Scott walks over and shoots Ned a funny look. Confusion. He then shrugs his shoulders, grabs the top rope, and in one, swift, graceful motion, leaps over the top rope and lands cleanly on the outside, right behind Ned. Ned, still engaged in the ringside conversation, doesn’t even notice Scott has dropped in right behind him, until of course Scott gently taps him on the shoulder.
Richard Parker: This guy is like a ninja! I bet if he landed on an egg shell it wouldn’t have even cracked. Quick, someone run up to the Shit Pen and ask those goons for an egg.
Ned’s eyes go wide, as he’s completely caught off guard by sheer and scary athleticism. However, Scott, instead of lifting him up and twirling him around and then suplexing him into the third row, points to the ring as if Ned wasn’t aware of where the match was being held. The whole gesture is very kind, and very innocent, and it would stay that way if it weren’t for Ned jabbing Scott in the eye. He then quickly follows the gouge up with a toe stomp, and then slams Scott’s head into the barricade.
Nick Stuart: The Sage of the Stage getting his hands dirty.
Richard Parker: I’m not surprised. He’s from Connecticut.
Reform pushes the dazed Scott into the ring. He then slides under the bottom rope, quickly gets to his feet, and lays a few boots to his still downed opponent. He then takes a moment for himself, and plays to the crowd. And yes, of course he takes his attention from off of his foe, and while doing so Scott is able to get to his feet. Ned turns around, and Scott quickly wraps his arms around him like they were about to jump out of an airplane with only one parachute. Scott then easily lifts The Warrior Poet off his feet, almost like he were a child, and then belly to belly suplexes him. Scott holds the finish and Elvis Nixon moves in for a count.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: THAT WAS CLOSE! That’s how powerful he is. Just Scott can end a match at any time.
Just Scott pulls Ned up along with himself. He whips Ned into the corner, hard, and Ned comes stumbling back out of it trying to find a reason to live. Scott quickly wraps him up again, and again delivers a belly to belly suplex that’s so devastating you’d think he’d practiced it on a bear.
The Artist formerly known as GREAT SCOTT again holds the finish.
Not to be confused with the Hardcore Artisan Scottywood.
1!
2!
Thre- KICKOUT!
Nick Stuart: OH SO CLOSE!
Richard Parker: Hopefully The Doctor didn’t like his ribs. If so, at least he knows a guy.
Scott gets up to his feet and shares a friendly thumbs up in the direction of the general audience. Ned is rolling around on the canvas like there’s a pocket of oxygen down there that’s really going to change his day. Scott then refocuses and reaches down to grab Ned. However, Ned is able to surprise Scott by rolling him up with a small package.
1.
2.
Just Scott POWERS THE FUCK OUT.
Nick Stuart: That would have been something.
Ned is still flustered and trying to regain his breath. He is able to get up to his feet and put some distance between him and Just Scott. That distance however is quickly erased when Scott comes charging in seeing that Ned is standing in the corner. Ned, though, moves out of the way at the very last second, and is able to dodge Scott’s SPEAR. Scott goes between the top and second turnbuckles, and shoulder blocks the ring post.
Nick Stuart: Looked like the ring moved an inch there.
Richard Parker: Sure did. Maybe two.
Ned points to his brain, very happy, and also very fortunate to have one. He then pulls Scott out from the corner by his feet, and drags him to the center of the ring. He stands over his downed opponent, and holds up a single finger, pointing all around the arena. He spins around in a full circle before stopping, and once again points to that big brain of his.
Not once.
Not twice,
But three times.
Ned then leaps into the air, and drives an elbow into Scott’s heart. He points to his brain, and lazily covers Just Scott.
Nick Stuart: That might have killed him!
Richard Parker: Again.
Elvis drops down to count.
1!
2!
Just Scott POWERS THE FUCK OUT.
AGAIN.
LIKE, HE BENCH PRESSES NED REFORM A GOOD FIVE FEET IN THE AIR. While Ned is airborne, Scott quickly kips up, but instead of landing on his feet his legs find Ned Reform’s shoulders and you guessed it.
ScottACANRANA~!
Nick Stuart: HOLY HOYT!
Richard Parker: Hey! That’s my line! Buy yes HOLY HOYT! That was something out of a videogame! I can’t believe that just happened! He changed directions in mid air! We’re going to have to have Ned explain this to us!
Just Scott makes the cover. He hooks the leg. Elvis Nixon drops down.
1!
2!
Ned moves his leg.
It’s involuntary.
3!
Nick Stuart: What a finish! Just when it looked like Ned had him, Just Scott shows that power, strength, athleticism, and flexibility are just too much to overcome. Great showing here by both guys. I guess JustER showing by Scott.
Richard Parker: You’re a clever one, aren’t you?
Nick Stuart: And now a word from our sponsors.
The shot cuts away with Just Scott standing tall inside the ring.