GREAT SCOTT vs. SHAWN WARSTEIN
Nick Stuart: Last week we saw the debut of GREAT SCOTT, who defeated Mortimer Kjedelig. Tonight he takes on Shawn Warstein, a man who has had a few bumps in his short PRIME career thus far.
Richard Parker: Well I personally hope that slide ends tonight, because something about this Scott character really grinds my gears.
Nick Stuart: I believe you are supposed to say GREAT SCOTT every time, Richard.
Richard Parker: No one can regulate me!
“Born For Greatness” by Papa Roach begins to blast over the speakers, as GREAT SCOTT emerges from behind the curtain carrying a nondescript championship belt over his shoulder. For some reason, Great Scott is over. Like really over. The crowd is going goddamned ballistic, and get even louder as GREAT BEAR steps out behind him, rocking out to some EDM on his sweet Beats By Dre headphones.
Richard Parker: I just don’t even know what to do about this bear situation.
Nick Stuart: The same rule applies to GREAT BEAR.
Richard Parker: They can’t touch me! I’m a member of the union.
Nick Stuart: We have a union?
Richard Parker: Not you, the obnoxious heel color commentator union.
GREAT SCOTT and GREAT BEAR make their way down to the ring, where GREAT BEAR starts doing awesome dance moves at ringside. It isn’t entirely clear if this is a real live bear, or a man in a very convincing bear costume, but the crowd is very into all of it. Anyway, Great Scott climbs up into the ring and goes up on all four ring posts, basking in the adulation of fans and holding up his championship belt.
The proceedings are cut off when “Centuries Remix” begins to blare.The curtain gets swiped to the side as Shawn Warstein steps through, also receiving a full chorus of boos. The hood on his hoodie is up as his face stays pointing towards the ground.
Nick Stuart: Last time we saw Warstein in the ring, he lost to Julian Bathory in the main event of ReVival 6.
As the song begins for crescendo Shawn lifts his head and pulls the hood down. The widest, most arrogant smile is on his face. It’s as if the jeers are fueling him. The louder they get, the wider his smile goes. As he walks down the ramp several fans heckle him, but with the back of his hand he waves them off and continues, sliding under the bottom rope and into the ring, keeping his distance.
Vince Howard: His opponent, hailing from Chicago, Illinois, standing six feet four inches and weighing two-hundred thirty-four pounds…SHAAAAAWN! WAAAAAAARSTEIN!
Casting a sneer to the ring announcer Warstein continues towards the far corner and climbs up sitting on the top turnbuckle, before hopping down.
GREAT SCOTT walks to the center of the ring and holds his hand out for Shawn Warstein to shake. Before Warstein can even move (we presume he was not going to entertain this), GREAT SCOTT shouts “DOLPHIN!” and moves his hand sideways under Warstein’s hand.
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT quite the trickster, Richard.
Richard Parker: And he’s going to pay for it!
Nick Stuart: Oh, you’re right Richard! Stiff shot from Warstein to GREAT SCOTT and he’s sent reeling!
Warstein wastes no time getting on the offense, following GREAT SCOTT with three quick punches. SCOTT finds the corner and tries to get a reprieve, and Elvis Nixon grants it to him.
Nick Stuart: Nixon separates the two men…oh, not for long!
Richard Parker: Warstein is relentless early!
Indeed, Warstein was on top of SCOTT before Nixon completely moved away. Nixon sidesteps quickly and is shouting at Warstein, but he doesn’t seem to hear or care. He grabs GREAT SCOTT and sends him over with a hip toss, then immediately smothers him with punches.
Nick Stuart: Warstein with the ground and pound, and it’s his match early.
Warstein stands up and grabs GREAT SCOTT, pulling him to his feet. As he does so, GREAT SCOTT throws his hands up, pushing Warstein back in surprise. GREAT SCOTT hits him with a forearm, then grabs him and takes him over in a vertical suplex! Warstein rolls over but GREAT SCOTT is waiting for him with a belly to belly suplex.
Nick Stuart: Cover by GREAT SCOTT!
Richard Parker: Not enough!
Shawn Warstein kicks out and GREAT SCOTT gets to his feet, looking at GREAT BEAR for support. The bear stops dancing and shrugs. GREAT SCOTT shouts “GREAT ADVICE GREAT BEAR DID YOU SEE ME HIT HIM WITH THE DOLPHIN EARLIER” and then grabs Warstein by his head. He throws Warstein into the ropes, then bends over and flings Warstein over with a back body drop.
Nick Stuart: Huge impact! Warstein started off strong, but he’s in trouble here.
Warstein slowly gets to his feet as GREAT SCOTT fixes him with ANGRY GLARING, which would normally be very effective. However, because Warstein wasn’t looking in GREAT SCOTT’s direction, he didn’t see it and, much like someone with sunglasses near Medusa, was not petrified. Warstein stumbles to his feet and GREAT SCOTT grabs for him again, hitting him with a dragon suplex.
Nick Stuart: Another cover!
Quick kickout from Warstein, but GREAT SCOTT doesn’t let up. He sends a standing elbow drop into Warstein’s chest, then lifts him up and hits another snap suplex. Before Warstein can recover, GREAT SCOTT lifts him up and traps him in the corner.
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT is sending lefts and rights into his face! SCOTT with all of the momentum here.
Richard Parker: Have we checked that bear’s valet license? Something smells fishy there.
Nick Stuart: Is it the salmon?
Richard Parker: The wha–oh Christ.
On the outside, GREAT BEAR is eating a salmon. The fans are cheering, though the ones close by are holding their nose.
In the ring, GREAT SCOTT continues to wail on Shawn Warstein. He moves him to the ropes, then sends Warstein with an Irish whip against the ring ropes. Shawn Warstein ducks under a clothesline, then leaps at GREAT SCOTT…
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT catches him!
Richard Parker: Uh oh.
Nick Stuart: Huge slam, and another cover!
Nick Stuart: Kickout, but GREAT SCOTT is really giving Shawn Warstein all he can handle early on in this match.
GREAT SCOTT rolls Shawn Warstein over and starts to wrench at his arm. Warstein grunts in pain and starts reaching for the ropes, but GREAT SCOTT rolls back and applies the armbar tighter.
GREAT SCOTT: HEY GREAT BEAR I’M A SUBMISSION EXPERT NOW HE’S GONNA TAP
Warstein starts to struggle again, and when he reaches for the ropes GREAT SCOTT rolls back again…which is exactly what Warstein wanted.
Nick Stuart: Savvy move from the veteran Warstein! He used GREAT SCOTT’S momentum to roll back over, and now he’s free!
Warstein gets to his feet and GREAT SCOTT is soon to follow. Warstein hits GREAT SCOTT with a stiff right hand, then tries to grapple GREAT SCOTT but the stronger man powers through and hits an exploder suplex.
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT has been in full control tonight with an array of suplexes.
Richard Parker: Is that all he knows how to do?
Nick Stuart: No, Richard. He is clearly a submission expert now.
Richard Parker: Dammit, I walked right into that one.
Nick Stuart: In any case, Shawn Warstein is in a lot of trouble in this match. He’s the more experienced wrestler, but GREAT SCOTT has overwhelmed him with power and momentum.
Richard Parker: That’s the thing about experience, though, Nick. Warstein is hanging on and biding his time, and it won’t be long before he finds an opportunity to strike and turn this thing around.
Currently, Warstein is in fact hanging on literally, as he grabs the ropes and tries to pull himself up. GREAT SCOTT helps him to his feet, then sends him into the turnbuckle. Suddenly, GREAT SCOTT points and shouts.
GREAT SCOTT: IT’S SCOTTACANRANA TIME
He runs over to the corner to give Warstein a body splash, but Warstein moves out of the way at the last second, causing GREAT SCOTT to smash into the turnbuckle.
Richard Parker: Shawn Warstein is too fast!
Warstein hits GREAT SCOTT with lefts and rights in the corner, and then an elbow to the face. GREAT SCOTT is stunned for a second, but retaliates with a stiff right hand that sends Warstein back. GREAT SCOTT grabs at him again, but…
Nick Stuart: Warstein ducks under the heavier GREAT SCOTT and takes him down with an atomic drop!
Richard Parker: Hey, should we maybe give Warstein the same treatment?
Nick Stuart: What do you mean?
Richard Parker: SHAWN WARSTEIN with a belly to back German suplex!
Nick Stuart: You might want to workshop it a bit.
As GREAT SCOTT rolls on the canvas, Shawn Warstein lays into him with boots to his chest. He lifts GREAT SCOTT up and kicks him, then plants him with a DDT and goes for the cover.
Nick Stuart: Kickout by GREAT SCOTT, but Warstein seems like he’s taking control.
Richard Parker: It’s like I said, Nick. He found an opening and took advantage. It’s what veterans do.
Nick Stuart: Warstein is a fighter, always up for a challenge, and not even the brute strength of GREAT SCOTT can keep him down for long.
Warstein lifts the big man up and tries to Irish whip, but GREAT SCOTT reverses and Warstein grabs the ropes, jumping over them and landing on the ring apron.
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT charging Warstein…no!
Richard Parker: Quick thinking from the Chicago native!
Warstein pulled the ropes down at the last second, causing GREAT SCOTT to tumble out, landing on his shoulder on the outside. Warstein grabs GREAT SCOTT by his head, then slings him towards the steel steps.
Richard Parker: GREAT SCOTT is in trouble now!
Nick Stuart: What impact on his shoulder!
Warstein grabs GREAT SCOTT and rolls him into the ring, where he lies prone. Warstein goes up to the top rope quickly and steadies himself, looking down at his opponent.
Nick Stuart: Going for the elbow drop!
Richard Parker: He hits!
Nick Stuart: Cover!
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT with the great kickout!
Richard Parker: I mean, it was fine.
Nick Stuart: I was just using his na…
Richard Parker: I know what you were trying to do.
Warstein knows how hard it is to kick out of a high impact move like that, and his face reflects it. He looks exasperated, confused, and a little angry. Shaking his head, he pulls GREAT SCOTT to his feet. He pulls GREAT SCOTT over in a snapmare, then immediately applies a reverse chinlock.
Richard Parker: This is where Warstein really shines, Nick. He’s 12 years older than GREAT SCOTT, he has the experience and know-how to take advantage of youth, exuberance, and rampant idiocy.
Nick Stuart: That was probably going too far but I get the gist.
GREAT SCOTT screams in the middle of the ring. It’s hard to pick all of it up, but he’s mostly saying things like “GREAT BEAR HELP ME” and “I DIDN’T STOP THE MAFIA TO GO OUT TO A CHINLOCK”. Warstein wrenches on his chin as GREAT SCOTT continues to struggle.
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT hanging on!
GREAT SCOTT begins moving his body, gathering strength. He gets to his feet and Warstein, despite his best efforts, comes with him. GREAT SCOTT grabs his waist and levels Warstein with a belly to back suplex. Warstein quickly scrambles to his feet as GREAT SCOTT points at him and shouts something loudly.
Nick Stuart: What did he say?
What he said, Nick, was:
GREAT SCOTT: I’M GONNA KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE TITS
GREAT SCOTT lunges forward and sends a high kick right to Warstein’s chest, leveling him.
Nick Stuart: Well, he certainly did…what he said he was going to do.
The fans are eating it up, clearly.
KICK HIS TITS! KICK HIS TITS! KICK HIS TITS!
GREAT SCOTT: I ALREADY DID
Richard Parker: I have no words. No, actually I do have words.
Nick Stuart: And what are your words?
Richard Parker: I HATE THIS.
Warstein is struggling to stand. After all, he DID just get kicked right in the tits. He grabs the ropes and makes his way into the corner. GREAT SCOTT senses this and points at the corner, causing the fans to cheer again.
Nick Stuart: Looks like GREAT SCOTT is looking for his finisher, The SCOTTACANRANA!
Sure enough, GREAT SCOTT ambles over to Warstein and lifts his body up to a sitting position atop the turnbuckle. Shouting more nonsense, GREAT SCOTT climbs the ropes to get himself in position.
But as he nears the top, Warstein stirs to life and knees GREAT SCOTT in the crotch.
GREAT SCOTT: OW MY GREAT TESTICLES
GREAT SCOTT slumps and steps down back onto the canvas. Shawn Warstein quickly bounds down himself and grabs GREAT SCOTT
Nick Stuart: EGO TRIP! GREAT SCOTT has been planted with that DDT!
Richard Parker: Here we go, cover!
Nick Stuart: GREAT SCOTT kicks out! And Warstein is frustrated with Elvis Nixon.
Richard Parker: Putting it mildly, Nick. Warstein thinks that was a three count, and I can see where he’s coming from!
Elvis very sternly holds two fingers up as Warstein shakes his head. Warstein sends a kick to GREAT SCOTT, then rolls him to a sitting position near the corner. He walks to the other side and gives the cut-throat “IT’S OVER” motion.
Nick Stuart: Warstein looking for the King’s Crown, and you have to think if he can hit that it will be over for GREAT SCOTT.
Warstein comes running in for the knee strike, but GREAT SCOTT moves at the last second, causing Warstein to crash into the turnbuckle.
Richard Parker: No!
Nick Stuart: Great athleticism from…
Richard Parker: Don’t.
Continuing that athletic display, GREAT SCOTT turns around and splashes Warstein in the corner, then quickly lifts him up on the turnbuckle. Wasting no time, he climbs to the top, leaps up, and takes Warstein down with the…
Nick Stuart: SCOTTACANRANA! He hit it!
Richard Parker: Come on, kick out!
Nick Stuart: Cover!
DING DING DING
Vince Howard: The winner of this match…GREAT SCOTT!
Nick Stuart: Well, Richard, Shawn Warstein put on a great performance, showing the wealth of his wrestling experience, but it wasn’t enough in the end to put GREAT SCOTT away.
Richard Parker: As much as I don’t like it, that’s now two matches and two wins for this shouting fool, so he’s doing something right.