HOW IS YOUR BROTHER… MATT?
We see Angelica Brooks standing by with The Anglo Luchador, who is already in his ring gear for the main event and a custom t-shirt that reads “I stayed at Brandon Youngblood’s house and all I got was this lousy shirt and a staph infection.”
Angelica Brooks: I’m here with The Anglo Luchador, who will be facing off against Paxton Ray in two straight shows now given Lindsay Troy’s blockbuster announcement right to Foster Nackedy earlier on in the program. You vs. Paxton, no holds barred. What are you thinking?
TAL: First, I’m thinking I need to send Lindz a fruit basket. I didn’t even ask for it, but it’s what I wanted. There’s only one way to put down a feral gator.
Angelica Brooks: True, but Jared Sykes wasn’t able to do that in the main event of Colossus, even in victory.
TAL: Yeah, but…
Voice from off-screen: …but expecting The Luchador to win an actual match is as laughable as capitalist boss giving fare wage!
From off camera walks Alexei Ruslan, comrade of one-half of the team facing off against The Luchador and Brandon Youngblood in the main event, Ivan Stanislav.
TAL: Jesus Christ, what do you want?
Ruslan tips his brown hat and grins wide, standing on the other side of Brooks while facing TAL.
Alexei Ruslan: Tut tut, Luchador. Us communists are atheist. You know this. Jesus Christ has nothing to do with anything! But as for what I want?
Ruslan makes a dramatic look left and right.
Alexei Ruslan: I believe I have right to go walking backstage, do I not?
The Luchador audibly groans.
TAL: You do realize that this is a big arena, and my name was on the call sheet for this location since last week? What’s the deal, Lappy? Are you here to get in my head?
Ruslan smirks and swings his hands behind his back whilst rocking on his heels.
Alexei Ruslan: Oh no, no no. I would not dare try to venture directly into your brainbox. But, since I am here and we are having this chat, do you not think you are being a little flippant by ignoring Ivan Stanislav? You were lucky to be on his team last tag match. But tonight, you have not just Paxton Ray, but The Russian Bear wanting your hide. Best to pay attention to here and now.
The Luchador looks up, rolling his eyes. Angie has an exasperated look on her face.
TAL: Alright, your Muscovite narcissism aside, what gives you any idea that I’m overlooking the 400-pound monster I’ve been jabbing with for the better part of a year thus far? I know you live in a fantasy land, but I didn’t think it was terminal.
Ruslan narrows his eyes.
Alexei Ruslan: Well, you seem to have bad habit of taking your eye off of ball, Luchador. You have made losing an art form! I mean… how many times have you been so busy trying to clean up your messes that someone from home ends up getting brutalized? Ahem, speaking of which, how is your brother… Matt?
The Luchador grows agitated, while Angie makes a pronounced gulp.
TAL: Since it’s been a dog’s age since you last competed, and I’m not the kind of person who throws hands with non-combatants, I’m going to let you off, but you disrespect my brother, Michele Vincenzo Battaglia, and I’m just going to have to take it out on your Russian Bear.
Ruslan smiles reassuringly at Angie.
Alexei Ruslan: Do not worry, Ms. Brooks. Should things grow violent, I shall protect you. And as for that, Luchador, I mean no disrespect. I am just musing about the fight one must have when wanting to avenge, say, someone they love so dearly.
Ruslan strokes his chin.
Alexei Ruslan: Just something to think about, that is all! Now, I can see that I run risk of taking poor Ms. Brooks’ job, asking all important questions. So! I can leave the two of you alone. So long as you feel safe in his company, Angelica?
Angie shoots him the classic “As if” look from Clueless. Alexei smiles as he takes his leave. The Luchador sighs and droops his head.
Angelica Brooks: Okay, well, that was rude to say the least. Do you have…
TAL: Sorry, Ange, I think the mood’s been ruined. Nothing left to say with my words.
The Luchador walks off.
Angelica Brooks: Well, there you have it, some more fuel on the fire for our main event! Let’s throw it back to ringside.
The camera cuts to the ring in wait for our next match.